Relationships Without Regrets

by joi on January 5, 2009

It's Up To Me


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I’ve said it a million times before, but it bears repeating, so hold on for 1,000,001. You never, ever, ever know what the next moment is going to bring into your life. In fact, at any given time, your world could be changed forever.

When my husband ran for the Sunday papers yesterday morning, it was as routine as a teenager talking on the phone. What wasn’t routine was the fact that he was in a wreck on the way home.

Thank God, it was a wreck he walked away from. If he hadn’t been wearing a seatbelt, I’m certain I wouldn’t be writing these words right now. I’d be with him at the hospital or worse… a “worse” that my mind doesn’t want to visit.

It was just another example of how fast and how dramatically things can change. It’s also another example of why we should always keep our lives and relationships in order. We honestly never know if we’ll have tomorrow (or this afternoon, or this evening..) to tell our loved ones that we love them or to make sure our children know how proud we are of them.

I’m not saying that we should go around each day as though a tragedy could come swooping down on us at any time. That’s not living - I’m not sure exactly what it is, but it isn’t living.

What I’m saying this: There are exceptions, and I’m fully aware of the fact, but more times than not (when it comes to relationships as well as just about anything), we reap what we sow. If we have any relationships in our life that aren’t as close as we’d like them to be, we are at least partly to blame.

Some people get so busy with work, bills, ambition, etc. that they never switch off. They are, from the time they get up in the morning until the time they go to bed in the evening, in full out “Make more, Do more, Spend more, Have more!” mode. So much so that they forget to be a family member. They forget (neglect?) to just sit and watch a couple of Andy Griffith reruns with their spouse or a football game with their children. They stop taking the family out for supper - Heaven forbid anything pull them away from their business. Sit and listen to what’s going on in their daughters’ lives? Yeah, right!

You can almost see the “What’s in it for me?” in a bubble over their head.

We are becomming far too busy as a generation and the next one will pay for it. How’s that for not mincing words?

I don’t know how many times my husband and I drove by parks this summer that were practically empty. I always wondered, “Where are the families?” Then I’d picture where they probably were - all separately doing their own things, with the parents working like mad trying to make more money to buy the kids more things. Ironically, what the kids need more than anything is the parents - not what the parents can buy them.

As for daughters and sons, they aren’t going to get off so easily! How about the ones who want mom and dad to be there if they need money, a favor, advice, and so on, yet they don’t have the time of day for their parents otherwise? There are parents who, when they see that their son/daughter is calling them, wonder aloud what they need. It shouldn’t be that way, it shouldn’t be that way, it shouldn’t be that way.

Whether you’re a husband, a wife, a parent, a son, or a daughter - I’ve said all of that just to say this: Treat your relationships with your loved ones like the treasures they are. If your mistakes are in the past, give a little shout - that’s the best place for them!

If you know, in your heart or hearts, that you could have done things differently, could have been less critical, should have worked on your temper, should have “shown up more,” etc. - start TODAY, then keep it up. In no time at all the person you wish you’d been will be the person you are.

You never, ever, ever know what train’s going to ride into your life. Don’t let regrets be on board.

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New Years Resolutions - To Be or Not To Be

by joi on January 2, 2009

First of all, I’d like to wish all of you a belated, but heartfelt, happy New Year! I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth, I’ve just been covered in work that piled upf over Christmas and New Year’s. How in the world does a house get turned inside out over Christmas breaks? Oh, wait, I remember - husbands and kids.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

2008 is getting kind of a bad rap, but it wasn’t all bad. In fact, on a grand scale and on a personal scale, I think it had plenty of wonderful things to say for itself:

  1. History was made in the Presidential election.
  2. Britney Spears fought her demons and won. Success stories always make me smile. Robert Downey, Jr. also saw a comeback of epic proportions.  Two huge movies with one around the corner.  Welcome back, indeed.
  3. On the personal front, my daughters each met ridiculously wonderful new boyfriends. If they ever slight these boys in any way, my girls know they’ll answer to me.
  4. Chris Pearson came out with Thesis - the Wordpress Theme of my dreams. Honestly, it does everything I need it to do and has made my online world much brighter. This time last year, I was completely unhappy with every single one of the themes I use on my blogs. They weren’t ranking in Google where I wanted them to, they were a nightmare to customize, and I just didn’t feel “proud” of them. One year later: Google loves them as much as they love Google, customization is so easy a penguin could do it (thanks to Rick Beckman, aka Kingdom Geek, the penguin could be made of playdough), and I couldn’t be prouder. These guys made 2008 a very important year for bloggers. They took the game and rewrote the rules.
  5. Again on a personal level - while my cat, Alexa, broke her leg a few months ago, I’m grateful that it wasn’t worse. And I’m positively delighted she’s right back where she belongs - lying on the desk in front of me, looking back whenever the urge for a chin scratch hits her.
  6. The USA rocked, rolled, and rallied in the Summer Olympics.  Michael Phelps amazed all of us, and I know we haven’t seen the last of him.
  7. What a year for movie fanatics!  We had some great movies to enjoy this year:  Iron Man, The Dark Knight, Tropic Thunder, Max Payne, Wanted, Kung Fu Panda, etc.  And, The Love Guru gave us the chance to say we’d truly seen the worst movie ever.

I know that, financially speaking, 2008 brought more than a few challenges into our lives and I, like you, am hopeful that 2009 will be kinder to our money.

So, um, er, have you made your New Year’s Resolutions? Come to think of it, how do YOU feel about New Year’s resolutions? In our family of 5, only two of us actually sit down with our little notebooks (hers are always either blue or covered with Disney characters while mine are always either purple or covered with Polar Bears) and pens. My oldest daughter, Emily, and I live for New Year’s Resolutions! It’s a tradition in our house. We both get such a gleam in our eyes on New Year’s Eve that we can tell what the other’s thinking without a word. Then we burst out with our plans for the year. Change is exciting and we literally get swept away in the moment.

Of course, if we didn’t strive (throughout the year) to meet the goals we set, it’d be just a fun little waste of time. That’s why we use our favorite notebooks to write the resolutions in. They’re right there, staring us in the face each and every day of the year. Notebook Resoluitons may not work for everybody, but we believe in them as much as we believe in chocolate. So we won’t be parting with our tradition (or chocolate) any time soon.

I’ve had resolutions in the past that I’ve never even come close to keeping. In fact, I have one that mysteriously shows up year after year: Learn to play the piano. I broke with tradition this year and left it off of the list. I figured, rightfully so, that if it had ever been THAT important to me, I’d now be able to tickle the ivories a la Alicia Keys. I think “personal motivation” is the secret to why some resolutions are kept while others are broken. For example, I had goals written on my resolution list last year that pertained to my web publishing business. I did them all. The motivation and “pay off” were important enough to me to do whatever it took to make the goals happen. Playing the piano, while it would be perfectly lovely, just didn’t drive me in the same manner.

One of the best ways to keep a resolution is to ask yourself, “Why is this important to me?” You know what a huge fan I am of notebooks and list making, so it won’t surprise you to learn that I write my reasons down. If the reasons are personal enough and if they truly matter, you will find a way to make it happen. The human spirit can’t ever be counted out. We may often look like we don’t have a clue in the world what we’re doing, let alone what we’re going to do next - but, when it comes down to it, we’ll often go as far as we want to go. And we’ll often get whatever we’re willing to fight for.

IF the fight is worth it to us. That’s why weight loss resolutions aren’t often kept. Let’s face it, a chocolate fudge sundae with whipped topping and nuts tastes a heck of a lot better than a 30 minute walk in the park feels. (Do you have any idea what I’d give for a…. nevermind.) Taking a 30 minute walk when you’d rather go to Dairy Queen is an ugly battle. But the beautiful thing is, if we win enough of these battles, we win the war!

Success tastes even better than a you know what covered with you know what.

I wish you and your loved ones a wonderful, healthy, and exciting 2009. I hope it’s full of fun, laughter, and wonderful surprises. I hope you open your world a little wider this year and stretch your wings a little further. You’re capable of doing anything you want to do and of being anyone you want to be. Don’t let anything or anyone (including yourself) get in your way.

One final thought:  Do something completely selfless and genuinely kind for at least one person every day.  Don’t do it with any motivation in mind other than seeing someone else smile.   If every single one of us did all we could to make other people’s lives better and happier, can you imagine the kind of world we’d wake up to?  What goes around comes around and karma never forgets a face.   We may as well make friends with her.

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Quotes About Change

by joi on December 30, 2008

Quote about Change Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced. - James Baldwin

Our dilemna is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better. - Sydney J. Harris

If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. - Mary Engelbreit

It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory. - W. Edwards

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. - Anatole France

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. - Victor Frankl

When you are through changing, you are through. - Bruce Barton

Faced with the choice between changing one’s mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof. - John Kenneth Galbraith Quote

Change begets change. Nothing propagates so fast. - Charles Dickens

They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom. - Confucius

Change always comes bearing gifts. - Price Pritchett

The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions. - Ellen Glasgow

Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations. - Faith Baldwin

Above all, remember, there is no such thing as making a small change. All change is monumental.

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Your Comfort Zone Isn’t Such a Bad Place to Be

by joi on December 29, 2008

comfort_zone1

First of all, let me start off by saying that I hope you all had a Merry Christmas! I hope you enjoyed your family, laughed so much that your sides “felt” it, and shoved lots of wonderful food into your pie hole. I hope you gave generously and that it welt so good, you smiled inside as well as outside.

It occurs to me that one of the reasons Christmas is so magical is the fact that it does, indeed, feel wonderful to make other people happy. The sight of someone’s face when they open a present or when they eat something you’ve made just for them is utterly priceless. If we were half as clever as we think we are, we’d keep the magic going all year. Sounds like, smells like, and looks like a top tier resolution to me.

Second of all, I’m sorry for the fact that the holidays took the Daily out of Self Help Daily. But I know you understand that a wife, mother, and human to 4 cats has a lot of hats to wear - and some hats simply come first. With less school and work, my family has been home more than usual and if I’m not cooking for them, watching movies with them, or laughing at their antics - I’m just sitting and enjoying their company.

Something my husband and I were watching last night leads me to the thoughts behind this post, in fact. I LOVE music - so much so that I don’t even have a favorite genre. I listen to all genres, all artists. If the music and locals are good and if they make me “feel” something with my heart and tap something with my feet… sign me up! We were watching one of my favorite female singers EVER perform on television. (Notice the way I’m leaving her name out? I loves her, so I’m not going to sling mud on her prettiness.) She was singing a song that, frankly, she had no business singing. The song wasn’t bad, the singer dang sure wasn’t bad - but together? Well, uncomfortable. It was simply WAY out of her comfort zone. When the song presented itself to her, she should have looked the other way and pretended they’d never met.

I had (as usual) enjoyed too much coffee yesterday, so while I laid in bed waiting for the sandman (he gets lost in traffic often with me), I thought about my songstress. When she’s doing her thing, performing within her comfort zone - for lack of a better phrase - she can’t be touched. Others come close, but touch? No, no, no.

I have, like most people who fancy themselves Self Help writers, often written about the virtues of “stepping outside of your comfort zone.” I still believe that testing your wings, from time to time, is good for you. Anything that makes you reach further than normal is a good thing. Make that a great thing. HOWEVER, when the reach is so far that you leave your own neighborhood, that can be uncomfortable at best and downright ugly at worst.

Truth be told, the phrase “Comfort Zone” has a bad rap. Think about it. When Kanye West throws on his killer shades and sings “Love Lockdown,” he’s in his comfort zone. When George Strait grabs his cowboy hat and sings about cowgirls, he’s in his comfort zone. Their comfort zones have, deservedly, made them millions. What would happen if they switched? I’m a HUGE fan of each, but I’m not certain I’d want to watch. George with a “Love Lockdown” and Kanye asking, “How About Them Cowgirls?” - What?!

Each artist steps, reasonably, out of their comfort zones with new songs and performances - but they’re intelligent enough to know what they do and what they do as well as anyone. Stepping too far beyond that would be foolish. Why leave a neighborhood that’s money in the bank?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for challenging yourself. Getting too comfortable can be like taking a life tranquilizer. But taking too many steps away from your comfort zone can be your undoing. It’s all about balance, common sense, and knowing who you are and what you can do. We’re living in a time when we seem to think we have to be able to do everything. No can do.

My dad used to tell a story about a paper route he had as a boy. Did all dads once deliver papers??? There was a particularly ill-tempered german shepherd who was tied to a tree along the route. My dad knew how far the rope would reach, so he learned (after a hole in his jeans) how close he could get to the dog’s home. The dog seemed to know how far he could reach as well because after my dad began walking outside of his reach, the dog lost interest in him.

We all have a similar reach, whether we want to admit it or not.

When we first began a web publishing business, I tried to do it all. I’d design the site, make the graphics, write the content, do the coding, contact affiliates, network, etc. It got to the point that I felt so overwhelmed and stressed that I wanted to throw in the towel - or, better yet, throw it at someone. One day my husband told me that I should concentrate mainly on writing. He told me that he felt that I did everything well, but that he especially liked my writing and thought I should give it the majority of my attention. He’d never let me down before, so I took his advice. To make an already long article a little less long, suffice to say - it made all the difference.

There’s just as much to be said for stepping into your comfort zone as there is to be said for stepping out of your comfort zone.

If you have a particular “comfort zone,” don’t apologize for it - dominate it.

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Motivation from Catwoman - What We Can All Learn From Eartha Kitt

by joi on December 26, 2008

Eartha Kitt
Eartha Kitt

“It’s not the name they call you, it’s the name you answer to.” - Fred Allen

I’ve spent the morning reading about Eartha Kitt, who sadly passed away yesterday. I’m sure you remember her as Catwoman #2 from the Batman television series. She was the Catwoman with the arresting voice. She was only in 3 episodes, but she will forever be remembered as the sexy, raspy voiced villainess.

What I DIDN’T know is what all this beautiful lady had to overcome in life. She was born in South Carolina in 1927, the result of a brutal crime. Her mother, a sharecropper who was of African-American and Cherokee Native American descent, was raped by a plantation owner.

Her mother gave her up and by the time she was 15, Eartha had dropped out of school. Without a home or family to call her own, she slept at friends houses as well as the subway.

Eartha’s was obviously a life that could have gone a hundred different directions, but equal parts talent and fight made her a household name. If that isn’t inspiring, nothing is.

She landed on her dancing feet in Paris and became the talk of the town. None other than Orson Wells called her, “the most exciting girl in the world.” She then found work in Hollywood, including the seductively memorable role that made her famous: Catwoman (1967-1968).

When I read about Eartha Kitt this morning, the quote at the top of the post came to mind.

What people think of us counts little compared to what we think of ourselves. And what others see when they look at us means very little when it stands beside what we see when we look at ourselves.

Can you picture it? A young girl in Harlem (where Eartha lived for a while) refuses to be a discarded child that nobody wanted to call their own. She didn’t see a child of rape when she looked in the mirror. At a time when race was on just about everyone’s mind, she didn’t see a race. She certainly didn’t see a little girl that needed pity.

She saw a star.

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Family Heirlooms, Family Recipes, and Family Memories

by joi on December 26, 2008

I know I touched on this a few articles ago, but I wanted to reach back and touch it again.

I hope everyone is reconnecting with their family members during Christmas and New Year’s. I like to picture families, the world over, sitting around the table laughing and telling stories. I like to picture mothers lovingly encouraging their children (of all ages!) to eat their vegetables, fathers dishing out the advice father’s like to dish out, brothers and sisters reliving the things they put their parents through, and grandparents remembering Christmas magic from the past.

I love to cook - love, love, love it. So on holidays, my family always knows where to find me.. In the kitchen amongst pots, pans, flour, ham, corn, cakes, wooden spoons, etc. It’s always so cute - my cat Alexa is always nearby and there’s always a steady stream of traffic as different family members come through to sample both my conversation and food.

At one point, my oldest daughter Emily came through with her boyfriend (great, great kids). We talked about family recipes and food for about an hour. He’s part Italian, so he was telling me all about his mother’s lasagna. As I was putting together my Corn Pudding, part of me was SO wishing it were lasagna!

I showed him cookbooks I was compiling for each of my girls - filled with my favorite recipes, tips, advice, warnings, etc. Thanks to all of my own recipes, a huge cookbook collection and my food website and blog, my girls will never run out of recipes or cooking knowledge.

Unfortunately, there will be a lot of family favorites that I can’t pass along. My mom and sister in law each died completely unexpectedly and my only living grandmother now has dementia. Each of them had favorite recipes I would LOVE to have in my collection, but I never put them there. We tend to think our loved ones will be around forever, don’t we?

Here’s something I think would be a really great idea: Family’s should compile a Family Heirloom Cookbook and ask family members to contribute each of their favorite recipes. Thanks to the internet, recipes can be e-mailed back and forth and copies can be made, so each family member can have his or her own copy.

You have no idea how happy I’d be to have my mom’s meatloaf (she was queen of meatloaf!), my mother-in-law’s Dump Cake, my father-in-law’s delicious baked fish, my sister-in-law’s spaghetti sauce, and my grandmother’s…well, everything! That woman could have taken on Bobby Flay in her day. She’d have had him on his knees begging for mercy. And seconds!

I’m going hunting this week for recipes I can still get my oven mitt on. Before she got a Cracker Barrrel within 10 minutes of her home, my aunt cooked a lot. So, I’m going to hit her up for some. I’m also going to contact family members a little further away - in distance and on the family tree. I plan on contacting another sister-in-law and begging, blackmailing or whatever it takes for her chicken and dumplings recipe. The woman weighs, like, 30 pounds soaking wet but cooks like a 240 pound southern lady.

How perfect would such a collection be for Christmas gifts next year? With all of the amazing Scrapbook kits on the market, they could be decorated beautifully and cherished forever.

As far as that goes, another great Christmas gift for 2009 would be a Family Memories Scrapbook - with or without recipes.

When it comes to talking early about Christmas and Christmas gifts, that may have just been a personal best.

Once again, I hope you’re having a beautiful Christmas season. Make every moment count double.

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Agree or Disagree? A Quote Questions Multi-Tasking’s Pulse

by joi on December 24, 2008

“Multi-tasking is dead. It never worked and it never will. Intelligent people love to sing its praises because it gives them permission to avoid the much more challenging alternative: focusing on one thing.”  – Timothy Ferriss

When it comes to multi-tasking, are you a believer or do you side with Mr. Ferriss?  Which is more important - trying to cover as much ground as possible or focusing all of your energy, more or less, in one spot?

I look forward to your thoughts because, to be honest, mine are all over the place!  I can see both sides and I don’t really lean this way or that way.  Geez, even my thoughts try to mulit-task.

That’s just a bit too disheartening for me to get my mind around right at 11:00 at night, so I’m rounding up all of my thoughts and taking them to bed.

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10 Last Minute Gift Ideas

by joi on December 21, 2008

Christmas Gift Bags We’ve all heard about the nighmarish economy and we’ve all witnessed more than a few businesses go under. Most of has have had to scale back in quite a few areas. So, why oh why is every store in town packed with shoppers and why is traffic bumper to bumper to bumper?!

I guess everyone is about like me. When it comes to Christmas, we still want to go all out. We equate buying great things for our loved ones with showing them how much they mean to us. I know as well as you do that we, as a nation, should have never allowed Christmas to get this out of hand (when it comes to spending money) but… it is what it is. Trying to redo traditions at this point would be next to impossible.

Besides, if you want to get down to it - I confess, I absolutely love going out and buying things for my family. I love wrapping them up and, most of all, I love seeing their faces when they open the gifts.

So, yes, I guess I’m part of the problem, IF it is indeed a problem. I’ve just decided that, starting December 27th, I’m putting back money each week for Christmas. I’ve heard a lot of people say that they’re going to shop earlier next year, but I’m one of the few nut jobs that actually loves the hub and the bub and the bub and the hub of the Christmas rush, so I’ll probably never be an early bird. Too much fun getting in there and mixing it up with the late birds!

Below is a list of some last minute ideas for Christmas shopping. The price ranges are all over the map, it’s just a group of things that might give you an idea or two. Maybe three.   By the way, I know you wouldn’t mind whatsoever (because you’re cool like that), but none of the links below are affiliate links - meaning I won’t be paid if you click the links or even if you buy anything.  I’m just trying to throw you some great ideas for Christmas and beyond - that’s all.

 1.  The most comfortable chair imaginable: I just reviewed the wonderful Steelcase Leap Chair on my office supply site. This chair is a real sweetheart. Steelcase Leap Chair Everyone who visits us takes it for a “test drive” and loves it muchly. My daughters’ boyfriends say it would make the ultimate gaming chair. They even gave me a display of how perfectly the arms move for everything you want to do with your arms.

My aunt sat in it so long she never wanted to get up.

Check HERE for dealers near you. You can also find information on the website for ordering online. If you can’t get your hands on one before Christmas, just cool your heels and order one for yourself after Christmas. THEN start saving for next year.

The Steelcase Leap Chair is awesome. Your booty, back, and neck would love for you to read more about it.

 2.  For the cook, or wanna be cook, a  Paula Deen cookbook is a delicious gift.   Throw it in a gift bag with a couple of kitchen gadgets and a gorgeous kitchen towel and you’ll be someone’s hero/heroine.  Nigella Lawson’s Express Meals is another fantastic cookbook.  It’s gorgeous.  It’s pricier, though, than Paula’s so you might want to bypass the extras in the bag.

 3.  Also for the cook, Kohl’s has one of the most impressive kitchen departments around.  Yeah, I’d know - it’s the first department I head for.  I can tell you how each store on earth rates in their kitchen department, what brands they carry, etc.  Obsessed, much. 

Food Network Oven Mitt Kohl’s has a great collection of Food Network pans, dishes, cookware, cutlery, books, and gadgets.   They also have the amazing KitchenAid, George Foreman, Calphalon, Black and Decker lines.  The blue Food Network Oven Mitt was given to me a year or two ago and I use it every day.  It’s gorgeous and has kept burns from happening to even an accident prone person like me.  There are some sweet Bobby Flay kitchen towels as well - they’re beauties.   There’s a Food Network Griddle that just caught my eye as well.

The Food Network Whipped Cream Dinnerware from Kohl’s is so beautiful it takes my proverbial breath away. It sends me every time I look at it.

Also, any kitchen product by George Foreman is a perfect gift. I’ve used my own George Foreman grill and rotisseire so much they could probably cook a complete meal without me.

 4.  For the person who is a little tough to buy for, a couple of gift cards is in no way a bad idea.  You could give them a dinner and a movie by including a gift certificate to their local theater as well as one to a great restaurant.  If it’s for a female, you could always throw in some flowers or a plan and if it’s for a male - chocolate always makes him smile.  Come to think of it, chocolate makes everyone smile, forget the flowers!

 5.  Books!  Books, audio books, calendars - they make incredible gifts IF you choose the right ones.  If you read any of my book reviews on this blog, you’ll see which books have Paula Deen Celebrates Cookbook been my favorites this year.  However, I don’t write many Cookbook or Fiction reviews on SHD.  So, I’ll tell you a few tricks of the trade - for cookbooks, you can’t go wrong (ever) with a cookbook written by a Food Network chef or celebrity.  As a cookbook collector, I guarantee you that if Food Network aligns themselves with someone, they’re about as good as it gets.  Tyler Florence, Alton Brown, Paula Deen, Nigella Lawson, Barefoot Contessa, Giada, Rachael Ray, Bobby Flay, Emeril - if their name is on it, buy it with confidence.

As for fiction, in my opinion the following authors sit on top of the heap.  Their names are written larger than the book’s title for a reason - they’re the star.  For a reason.  Dean Koontz, John Grisham, Stephenie Myer, Nora Roberts, and Sue Grafton have no inclination of ever disappointing a reader.  Mr. Koontz isn’t above terrifying a reader to the point of gasping, but he won’t disappoint them.

 6.  DVDs are perfect for just about anyone.  If you know someone on your list’s favorite actor or actress, put together a little bag or box of this star’s movies for them.   Will Smith, Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts, Audrey Hepburn, Matt Damon, Keira Knightley, James Franco, Vin Diesel - they’re just a few of the stars I collect.  I love movies!

 7.  If you have someone on your list with a killer sense of humor, they’ll love January Jones’ Thou Shalt Not Whine.  It’s beyond hilarious.

 8.   Great CD’s right now:  Taylor Swift’s Fearless, Twilight’s Soundtrack,  Beyonce Heartbreak by Kanye West,  The Killer’s Day and Age, One of the Boys by Katy Perry, I Am… Sasha Fierce by the amazing Beyonce would make most people deliriously happy.  Keith Urban has a greatest hits cd out that’d also make a great present.

 9.  If you’re just completely unsure, go to Amazon.com.   Not only can you order from the warmth of your own home - you can find lists galore.  They let you know what the hottest toys, Elmo! books, cds, dvds, digital cameras, ipods, mp3 players, etc are. I’m completely amazed that adorable little Elmo finds his way to the top of the Toy’s list every year - in one form or another, his sweet face is always there!  If you’re ordering from the site, you need to do so today in order to have the gifts by Christmas.  If that’s cutting it too close for you, simply use their site for some great ideas.

10.   Last and best:  A Starbucks Gift Card.  If you know me and my Starbucks obsession, you probably saw this one coming.  Starbucks is more than just great coffee, chai tea, hot chocolate, apple cider, fraps, lattes, espressos, and iced green tea lemonade - it’s a state of mind. 

Starbucks Card Starbucks is the last great frontier of pampering yourself.  It’s like a thumb in the mouth, a security blanket, and mom’s chicken noodle soup all rolled into one. But tastes better, feels better, and smells better. 

Ah, the aroma, the sounds, the smiling workers, the deliciousness….  I have somewhere I have to be.

Before I head to the great frontier, I just want to say that I hope you’re having a wonderful Christmas season.  Embrace and cherish every moment and every person.  And, for crying out loud, be careful driving in that holiday traffic.  Some people drive even worse than I do.  Avoid them at all costs.

Merry Christmas! - Joi

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Words of Motivation From a Fellow Blogger

by joi on December 19, 2008

As I’ve said before, I get tons of e-mail. Fortunately, I love it like Linus loves his blanket. It may take me a day or two (or more if I’m swamped, sick, or both) to answer the e-mail, but keep them coming. I love the kind words, the suggestions, and to the woman in Connecticut who sent me a recipe for a triple-layered chocolate walnut cake… I love you.

I received a great letter from a reader, Geoff Young, who is doing something that’s equal parts cool and gutsy. He’s changing careers, which is a lot like jumping from an airplane to a hellicopter, mid air. Without a parachute.

So, maybe it’s gutsy even more than it is cool.

Anyway, I think his story is inspiring. So, below are excerpts of Geoff’s letter, used with permission OF COURSE, and a link to his website. I know you join me in wishing him great success.

I am new at the whole blog thing. I have been a construction worker all of my adult life and earlier this year I lost the woman I love to her inflated ego. I was very hurt by this. I needed answers so I turned to my self help library. I have been a student of self help for a good 20 years. My great Aunt Betty was my inspiration for the desire to learn about myself since my early 20’s. She died about one and a half years ago at the age of 93.

Anyway, after the woman I was supposed to marry cut me up into little pieces I knew what I needed to do next. I studied Tony Robbins “Get the Edge” and The Secret intently. The problem I faced was that there is so much information contained in these programs that I found it difficult to retain a majority of the information these studies (that’s what I call them) had to offer. I also remember something I learned in a previous program by Tony Robbins. It was the 30 day program he marketed starting back in the mid 80’s. That program was called Unlimited Power if I remember right. In that program he talks about our three core learning styles; visual, audible, and “hands on” learning.

I remembered that and I developed a step by step program to help me retain more information quicker so I could make some necessary changes in my life faster. I wanted to be a better person instead of a bitter person because of our break up. As this system for better memory retention came about I began to discuss what I was doing and how I was doing it with close friends and family. They inspired me to think. So I gathered my thoughts and decided to make a presentation and I wanted to sell this idea to the Tony Robbins company. I knew he would immediately see the potential of how I mixed the three core learning styles into a unique step process.

I began talks with a salesman from the Robbins company and they were defiantly interested in seeing my idea. Than I began to really get cautious. I ask a personal friend of mine that owns a publishing company if she would be my publishing agent. She was happy to do so. I made a presentation on my lap top and showed it to her. She loved the idea so much that she convinced me to keep and market the idea myself with the full financial backing of her publishing company.

I really disliked the construction job I was in but at the same time I was also grateful to have this job. When they stopped paying me on time (which was only once a month) I quit and started working on The Learning Course full time. We now have a finished product and are in the internet marketing phase of the project. Michele (my publisher) suggested that I start using blogs as a marketing tool. At first I was really skeptical. She convinced me to move forward with this. The first two entries read just like advertisements. Then I started understanding what I really should be doing with this new blog thing.

I now am marketing on my myspace page and that is a high maintenance way to market. It takes up lots of my time and now I’m researching other avenues to get the word out about TLC. I just love this blogging stuff though. It is actually teaching me how to be a better writer. I have now posted six or seven blogs and five of them are really good. I know it takes time to become established and that is why I’m reaching out to you now. My blog entries are posted on Mondays on my myspace profile and at my web site www.thelearningcourse.com These blogs talk about my learning experiences I have had in my personal life on a daily basis. All the years of self help study have really come in handy for this. For example an entry for a couple of weeks ago is named “Do Your Friends Inspire You” and it talks about the company we keep. My last one is titled “Who Do You Love” and it’s about how hate perpetuates more hate. These are very well thought out blogs and I wish more people knew where to find them because I know they will inspire thoughts and feelings. I hope you may have some helpful suggestions as to what I might do better or different. Please take just a few minutes and see my entries. They aren’t that long and I hope they are may inspire you in some way.

I absolutely love reading your comments, so please keep them coming! To do so, please click the article's title, then scroll down to the bottom. Before leaving the site, please subscribe to our RSS Feed or sign up for the e-mail updates. The form for the e-mail updates is to the side. Just look for the flying Polar Bear (Doesn't everyone?).

Instant Replay by Tony Verna is a Must Read for Sports Fans

by joi on December 15, 2008

Instant Replay by Tony Verna I just finished reading Instant Replay: The Day That Changed Sports Forever by Tony Verna (the actual inventor of instant replay).

When I first opened it, I didn’t know what to expect. I’m a big sports fan and love few things more than watching my favorite sports teams (St. Louis Cardinals, Denver Broncos, UK Wildcats…) - especially when they’re winning. Do you hear that, Wildcats, especially when they’re winning…

However, I’m not that big on reading about sports. The only time I even open a sports section is during March Madness, for the brackets and around September/October for baseball rankings. Last year, it was hoping there was a last minute miracle that found my red birds on top.

So, needless to say, when I started reading this book, I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t expect to read about the sort of prejudice he faced as an Italian American during the 1950’s - 60’s. Overcoming that, alone, took a great deal of strength and conviction.

When Tony Verna was a young director, he also faced a lot of obstacles and hurdles - the sort that would have sent a lot of people running for the nearest exit. To hear him tell how he stayed in the fight is very motivational and ridiculously entertaining. Several times during the book I found myself amazed when I remembered, “This is the man who will go on to change sports forever - he invents instant replay!”

I particularly love reading about the places Tony Verna has visited, the people he has met, and the conversations he has had. How many people get to say they directed Mother Teresa? If I had ever met Mother Teresa, I’m certain I couldn’t even have talked - I would have promptly deteriorated into a heap of emotion.

Speaking of emotions, when the author details how he learned of John F. Kennedy’s assassination, you feel as though you’re living through it yourself.

Instant Replay: The Day That Changed Sports Forever would make an excellent gift for any sports fan, tv fan, or history buff. It is a very fascinating book. I’m really hoping Tony Verna will write more. Each chapter of the book covers a span of 10 years, and each could actually provide the basis for its own book.

Fascinating lifes make fascinating reads. Tony Verna just proved it.

I absolutely love reading your comments, so please keep them coming! To do so, please click the article's title, then scroll down to the bottom. Before leaving the site, please subscribe to our RSS Feed or sign up for the e-mail updates. The form for the e-mail updates is to the side. Just look for the flying Polar Bear (Doesn't everyone?).

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