February 2006

“Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.  We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream.  It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.” ~Ronald Reagan

I can’t say that I totally believe in astrology - (how weird is that statement coming from a dreamologist?!) - but I don’t let a day go by without reading my horoscope.

Before I go any further, I want to say that there are aspects to astrology that I do believe in, I just don’t personally think the stars hold our destiny.  That responsibility is ours.

That said, I’m a whore for horoscopes! I’m telling you - Some of the best advice, inspiration, and motivation lies within these daily postings.  I guess you could say that I believe in their potency but not their prophecy.

Take, for example, part of my horoscope for today:  Someone may be prodding you to take action today, dear Leo. It may be best if you beat them to it and just motivate yourself.  I load up my MSN homepage this morning, check the headlines, and scroll down to my horoscope - just in time for a miniature lecture. One I needed, though.  I tend to be far too laid back - I got that from my dad, along with low blood pressure, allergies, a green thumb, big fat cooking skills, and an acute addiction to coffee. 

I try to work on this area because it irritates me.  (the overly laid back bit, I embrace the coffee addiction). I just don’t seem capable of taking enough initiatives in life - I let far too many things just float by and then I wonder, “Why didn’t I do this…” or “Why didn’t I do that….” 

Case in point, I once was considering a great domain name, for a line of handmade jewelry. I never got around to buying it, and then a movie (of all things) comes out, uses the name and the domain.  I don’t even want to think of what they may have paid me if I had owned the domain name they wanted.

Of course, being laid back has it’s perks - I mean, like my dad before me, it takes a lot to make me mad. In a world where people get furious over having to stand in line for 5 minutes, it’s kind of cool to keep your cool.

It’s as though everyone’s psyche has its own persona.  Mine?  She’s somewhere between a beachcomber, a coffeeshop beatnik, and a Bohemian flower child.  I’m the one that if someone short-changes them a dollar, let’s it go and figures that life keeps score and I’ll find one down the road somewhere.  (Yes, yes. I read poetry.) 

Anyway, for some reason, reading this horoscope today has given me new determination to try and become more self-motivated - to sort of “take it” to life rather than letting life “take it” to me. 

I certainly wouldn’t have opened up those avenues of thought on my own.  My daily horoscope does that just about every day - gives me food for thought with a side order of motivation. Most of the time it’s just what I ordered, and sometimes (like today) it’s so good I didn’t have the sense to order it!

I’d wholeheartedly recommend for everyone to customize and personalize their homepage to include their horoscope - or to read theirs first thing in their daily paper.  It won’t take long before you’re seeking it out for a little prodding.  Free advice and motivation?  Hard to beat.

The coffeehouse awaits me and I mustn’t keep it waiting.

“Laughter is the best way to make somebody’s heart beat.” ~Robert Holden

“Eccentricity is not, as dull people would have us believe, a form of madness.  It is often a kind of innocent pride, and the man of genius and the aristocrat are frequently regarded as eccentrics because genius and aristocrat are entirely unafraid of and uninfluenced by the opinions and vagaries of the crowd.”  ~Edith Sitwell

As a dreamologist, I hear and read about a lot of dreams - I mean hundreds a month.  I’m not a “You will meet a mysterious stranger who will be wearing stripes on the second Thursday of next month” dream phophet or anything as exotic as that.  I think of myself more as a dream analyst - I can decipher the meanings behind dreams…..what their symbolisms are, what, if anything, should be taken away from the dream, etc.  A lot of study, research, and hands-on training has gone into this craft and I enjoy it almost as much as anything I do.

The greatest part of it is working with people, hearing what’s on their minds, what’s bothering them….and helping when I can, in whatever way I can.  The work and study are more than worth it when I get the e-mails thanking me for the insight and help.  I’ve formed bonds with so many people that are worth more than anything. I’ve heard from the most colorful and amazing people in the world through my dream site and dream blog. It’s a shame I’m not a science fiction writer, I’d have enough material for several lifetimes!
I’ve noticed that a common theme for dreams - the majority of them center around relationships.  A person who is grieving, for example, will often have incredibly vivid and troubling dreams, as the mind tries desperately to heal itself from the pain it feels.

Someone who has had a break-up, which is also a form of grief, will often have recurring dreams about this person.  Again, the mind tries to come to terms with a situation it isn’t comfortable with.

Something that amazes me about us (humans) is our knack to push ourselves.  We put so much pressure on ourselves to just move on and keep going - regardless of the circumstances - that I think we do ourselves more harm than good.  (There was like one too many “ourselves” in that paragraph, but I’m wearing my dream analyst hat at the moment rather than the writer one, so I’ll just grumble and go on. No editing today!)

The really irritating thing is that we’ll tell others to “Take your time and heal.”  but we’ll tell ourselves, “Move on already!”  If only we’d be as understanding to the person who looks back at us in the mirror.

Instead of pushing ourselves forward, sometimes I think it’s best to pull ourselves backward and just remember how to breathe.  Whatever situations we face - whether they’re grieving for a lost loved one, a lost relationship, or a child who has gone off to college or gotten married - we should first ask ourselves what advice we’d give if someone we loved were facing this same situation.  Then, secondly, we should take our own advice.  I’m fairly certain it wouldn’t be, “Move on!”

We have to care for our psyche if we want our psyche to take care of us.

Joi

Some of my favorite quotes about determination:

“Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.” ~Muhammad Ali

“The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win.” ~Roger Bannister

“What this power is I cannot say; all I know is that it exists and it becomes available only when a man is in that state of mind in which he knows exactly what he wants and is fully determined not to quit until he finds it.” ~Alexander Graham Bell

“Be determined to handle any challenge in a way that will make you grow.” ~Les Brown

The longer I live, the more I am certain that the great difference between the great and the insignificant, is energy — invincible determination — a purpose once fixed, and then death or victory. ~Sir Thomas Fowell  Buxton

My husband recently forwarded me a link to a wonderful letter.  It was written by a father of an adorable little boy named Toby.  I’ll let the author tell you about his son as well as the lessons he’s learned from Toby.

Each lesson is amazing, but my favorite one is:  Live in the present moment.  That’s really the only way we should live, isn’t it?  Below is the link, enjoy! 

 Lessons From Toby

Joi

“Seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses…let us run with patience the race that is set before us.”  ~Hebrews 12:1

Have you ever been too tired to sleep?  Seems like an impossibility, until you’re right smack in the middle of the possible.  Maybe even worse is the feeling of not being able to turn your brain off long enough to drift off. I get bit by that one at least several times a month - when there are so many different things buzzing around my mind that I can nearly hear the buzz.  As a last resort, I have taken Benadryl before to halt the buzz bring on the zzzzs, but I hate having to fight through the mental fog it brings on the next day.  All the coffee in the world can’t totally make that fog lift.

From what I’ve heard, that’s a common problem for legitimate sleep aids as well.  I’ve done a little reading on the subject - so the next time I can’t get to sleep for whatever reason, I’m armed with information and an alternative to my allergy medication.  Here are a few of the best sleep inducing tips I’ve found:

1. Count backward from 500.  People who use this technique swear they never make it to the 200s.
2. My favorite:  Focus all your attention and thoughts on relaxing each muscle of your body - starting with each of your toes, then working all the way up.  I’ve never, ever made it past my knees.
3. Imazine that you’re in one of your all time favorite places, someplace relaxing and calm.  Concentrate of feeling how you always felt while there.  Mine would probably be lying on the warm white sand on Pensacola Beach, listening to the waves pounding the shore and the birds calling to the fish…using shells I’d found to draw pictures in the sand. Okay, it’s like a trillion degrees below zero where we live now and I just depressed myself.  Moving on!
4. Breathe deeply, concentrating on each breath.  Inhale and exhale deeply and slowly, try to mimic the sound and feel of “sleep breathing.”  Before long you won’t be mimicking!
5. Put a little lavendar under your pillow.  Or you could use Downy’s Lavendar and Vanilla fabric softener for your sheets and sleepwear - I use it religiously and it does have a relaxing effect on the senses.

When all else fails, go to the couch and turn on the greatest sleep inducer of all - the weather channel.  Not that they’re boring….not at all.  They’re just so peaceful.  Come to think of it, the golf channel also tells a great bedtime story.

~Joi

“A bend in the road is not the end of the road…unless you fail to make the turn.”