July 2006

“Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three things a day unsaid.”

I’ve seen people do and say things lately that just left me thinking, “That’s Cool.”  What’s the coolest of all is that each of these people are young.  Kind of setting an example for the rest, I guess.

1. A friend of my youngest daughter’s is 16.  He has an older brother who is 19 - the older brother works but the younger one doesn’t.  Apparently he tried to get a summer job but simply hasn’t been able to, yet.  Anyway, onto the cool.  One day a few weeks ago, the older brother gives the younger brother a card with $20 in it that says, “Spend this on anything you want to.  - Love ya.”  As Marcia Brady would say, “Way Cool.”
2. My daughter recently made $100 for work she did online.  It took a lot of work on her part - long hours, a few obstacles she had to fight off, and several Cokes she had to kill in the process.  She didn’t (as you’d think most teens would) take the money, hit the mall and trample everyone in her way.  The first thing she bought was a nice top for me.  I had bought one made like it (in another color) several months ago.  She’d, I guess, heard me say several times how much I loved the way it was made.   As a surprise, she went and picked me out one made just like it - it’s my new favorite top and I guess I’ve worn it, like, a thousand times.  Wearing it makes me smile.  Again, “Way cool.”
3. At a restaurant several days ago, an older woman was arguing with the young cashier about the change she’d given her - she thought she’d been shorted a dollar.  One dollar!  The woman was so rude I wanted to say something (Having kids makes you want to defend all young people, I guess.).  The girl never raised her voice, kept her smile (pretty much) in place and patiently proved to the woman that she’d been given the correct change.  The woman huffed, never apologized, and just turned to walk off.  Before she got away, the girl said, “Have a nice day, ma’am and I’m sorry for the confusion.”  Trust me, if you’d heard how unbelievably stupid this woman was, you’d know that what this young lady said wasn’t at all what most of us would have said.  She kept her cool and WAS cool.
4. Finally, a few days ago, we were watching Jessica Simpson on MTV’s TRL.  The girl has always amused me - she’s has the typical larger-than-life Texan attitude and spirit, and I’ve been a fan since she first came onto the scene.  Anyway, she was asked to show some clips from her all-time favorite videos and she led off with one by Britney Spears.  One in which Ms. Spears looked all the way on top of her game. Jessica said Britney’s body was “amazing” and said how much she liked her work.  Then after another video, she said how “hot” Fergie looked.  Most female celebrities wouldn’t say positive things about other females, and they darn sure wouldn’t choose another girl’s video to show off!  Not unless the other girl was a hound dog, which Britney Spears most certainly isn’t.  But, then again, they don’t swing in the cool air like Jessica does.

Just wanted to give some public props to some cool people who impressed me the past few weeks.  They may not be acts or gestures that will, single-handedly, change the world - but they’re the sort of acts that make the world a cooler place.

Joi

“If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.”

I recently waxed about 90 shades of stoooopid.  Within the span of 1 month, I jumped into:

1. Putting up 2 brand new blogs.
2. Putting up a brand new website. 
3. Moving two websites to new domains. (Jessica Simpson Unveiled and Bo Bice Online)
4. Re-doing the complete looks of 3 blogs and 5 websites. (I’m actually in the middle of website re-vamping #6 and there’s a #7 poking me in the side.)

Our home biz is always busy, but in the months after my mom passed away, it’s almost been like I’ve been scouting out things to do.  Anything to keep the mind from wandering into, “If only…,”  “What if…,” and “God - this sucks!” 

Yesterday, I was catching up on some house/garage cleaning and chores.  For some reason, mid-way through mopping the dining room floor, I pictured a Chinese Proverb on a poster I’d seen a long time ago. It said, “There’s only an hour a day between a good housewife and a great one.”  That little proverb can be taken and used on just about any occupation in the world - not just overworked/underpaid/under appreciated housewives.  It can also serve as inspiration and motivation for countless other pursuits:  How about weight loss and fitness.  An hour a day could make the difference between:  1. Losing a little weight and,  2.  Having to go shopping for new Levi’s!

1 Hour’s not that hard to finanagle, either. What if you started tomorrow getting up an hour earlier - PRESTO, a whole extra hour handed to you on a silver platter.  Or, if you aren’t a morning person, start going to bed an hour later - or get up 30 minutes earlier and turn in 30 minutes later.  Just find that extra all-important hour and utilize it.

Something I’d really love to do is take up sewing again.  When my girls were really little, I had a sewing machine that I taught myself to sew on and I’d crank out the cutest little shorts, skirts, and jumpers.  Then, life happened, my machine broke, and I forgot everything I ever knew.  I think I’m going to demand an extra hour from each of my days and take it up again.

My husband has used this type of philosophy on his golf game.  He devotes around an hour to working on his swing.  He punishes a bucket of balls at the driving range regularly and has earned himself a killer relationship with his driver.

Is there anything you’d love to learn, re-learn or improve upon? 

There’s just an hour in your way.

Go for it!

Joi

We all have occasional tiffs with our Mr., Mrs., or Miss Right - inevitable times when they’re so wrong they couldn’t even find right.  With a search party.

That’s normal.  In fact, if you think about it, it’s a good sign.  It means we’re hooked up with someone who has a pulse.  Only a person with the disposition of a sheep would never get their back up about something.  Sheep people aren’t sexy.

However, what isn’t normal and what isn’t healthy is the “Bickersons” of the world. The couples who just fight all the time.  You’ve probably been around them before.  They create an air of tension when they’re in the same room, as everyone’s just waiting for the yelling to start.

When we lived in Southern Indiana for a few years, we lived next door to a couple that fought (loudly) every night.  Their garage, which was their favorite place to fight, was near our bedroom window.  The man would go to the garage to hide from her, but she’d find him.  (Wouldn’t you think the doofus would have found a better place to hide?  Like South Dakota?)

Anyway, she’d scream and turn the air so blue you thought you were in a bottle of Powerade.  It seemed to become a way of life for them - until one day she never came home and he stopped hanging out in the garage.  Months later, he found a new girlfriend - and everytime I saw them they were laughing and smiling.  I hope the screamer found happiness as well.

They came to mind this morning when I was reading a relationship newsletter.  It was all about how unhealthy it is to be in confrontational relationships.  I guess that should be pretty obvious, huh?  All that stress and tension, yelling and crying. Can’t be good for one’s physical health, mental health OR emotional health.  I know someone in my corner of the world who has found herself in a stressful relationship.  It’s the theme of each one of her days, and I’m afraid that she’s doing what most people do.  Settling. 

Personally, I think life’s (as Andy would say) waaaaay yonder too short for that approach. 

If you had a car that died on you each time you drove it, you’d either fix it or get a new one if it was beyond repair.  Simplifying?  Guilty as charged.  But if you love someone that you can’t seem to get along with, you need to look under the hood and see where the noise is coming from.  Jealousy?  Lack of trust?  Lack of respect? A grudge?  I’m all for fixing that which can be fixed - but I’m all against living inside of unhappiness so long that you forget what happiness looked like.

One other couple comes to mind.  They lived next door to me and my parents when I was growing up.  He was a surly, disagreeable grunt that no one liked to see coming.  She was a great girl with a personality as bright as the August sun.  The personality grew tired (”FINALLY!” the neighborhood yelled in unison.) of the grunt and kicked him to another neighborhood.  She then met a sweet man who became her new and improved husband.  I remember eavesdropping one night on her and my mom.  She said, “Life’s so much better when you’re happy!”

Can’t argue with that.

Joi