September 2006

I dunno, it seems to me that lately, each day brings more than just a new name or number with it.  It brings a big, fat, unhealthy dose of the crazies.  This morning when my daughter (a huge TO fan) told me, “The homepage says that Terrell Owens tried to commit suicide.” - I swear, my initial reaction wasn’t shock, it was more along the lines of, “Well of course he did.”  After all, no one else had stepped up to the plate to bat for the crazies yet, someone had to.

What, is there like a full moon or something?

I’m not trying to be insensitive - apparently the man suffers from demons that I wouldn’t even recognize.  Thanks be to God.  But there are people the world over who battle depression, pain, heartache, disappointment, etc.  Demons don’t just visit TO - they visit everyone at one time or another.  And most people battle these demons while also having to fight to pay the bills, put the kids through school, make the mortgage payment and a million other worries Mr. Owen doesn’t have to worry about.

Yet most people have enough sense to know that you don’t fight demons from inside a pill bottle.  Whether he knew what he was doing or not - he stepped up to the plate with his stupid bat and hit one a country mile. 

All day I’ve been wondering why there are so many people literally fighting for top billing as the village idiot. Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, Paris, Kate Moss, Lindsay Lohan, David Hasslehoff…  One thing that comes to mind is a lack of accountability.  Paris, for example, is caught driving drunk and gets a slap on the wrist.  If your name is famous, it seems that you can do just about anything and all it costs you is a day in court.  If everyone boycotted products endorsed by these celebs - they’d get more than just the day in court.  They’d get the message.

Terrell Owens has so much talent (as far as I can remember - from the days when he actually played football for a living.)….it’s sad to see him like this.  His name should be in the papers for much better things than popping pills like they’re Runts.  If only my daughter could have proudly yelled out that one of her favorite athletes had just donated a million dollars to help rebuild New Orleans, or had just signed a new shoe deal….or had done just about anything except taken his turn with the stupid bat.

Joi 

The Athenians, alarmed at the internal decay of their Republic, asked Demosthenes what to do. 
His reply: “Do not do what you are doing now.” ~Joseph Ray

We humans are a funny lot, aren’t we?  We expect more from life than what it’s giving us, yet we seldom offer it more than what we’ve been giving it.  Why would it suddenly shift all on its own? 

….”Do not do what you’re doing now.”  Perfect.

Joi

The art print above, Views of Athenian Ruins by Stuart Revett, is from All Posters.com.  The artist has a series of Athenian art prints - each as beautifully dramatic as the one before.

I’d been thinking a lot lately about how tech-y our world has become. You know, how you’ll have conversations inside your head about the pros/cons of a situation - trying to decide just which side of the fence you stand on?  I’d been having those talks with myself - without moving my lips of course. People would point.

I was even ironing out an angle for an article, but the problem was - I found myself straddling the fence, unable to figure out which side to put a foot down on. 

I mean, the pros of all the tech-y gadgets are amazing.  Being able to send text messages across the miles, being able to download movies, being able to plug into your ipod and escape the world….

And yet the other side of the fence shows the “rest of the story” - Being able to send text messages across the miles rather than calling, being able to download movies rather than go to the theater with family or friends, being able to plug into your ipod and escape the world rather than be a part of it….

Last night, my husband, our youngest daughter and I went out to eat before hitting the movies. From the moment we sat down, a young boy (I’m guessing in the 9-12 range) was making a racket at a nearby table.  He fidgeted, looked bored, poked at his food.  His dad made a few futile attempts to talk to him, but he was having none of it.  Then mom disappears for a minute, and I’m thinking she had made a break for it.  Then she returns with what turns out to be a portable dvd player - she hooks the child up to it, and he becomes fixated with what’s on the screen.

I don’t know for sure, but I think that pretty much says it all. When a child can’t even make it through a meal with his family - it’s a sign of the times as well as a signal to my feet.  Part of me wonders what the future holds, say 10 years down the road.  I can actually see restaurants having dvd players built into their tables - one at each seat so that no one has to carry on a conversation whatsoever. 

There’ll probably be an automated system where you type in your order - so you needn’t ever speak to the waiter or waitress.  Supermarkets will start having U-scan aisles so you won’t have to actually face a human….. oh yeah.

The gadgets aren’t going anywhere, and if they remember their place - they can be assets.   It’s up to us humans to take control of them rather than the other way around. And, parents - please stop thinking only of the short term.  Even if it takes a few battles, lay the ground rules - there are times when the gizmos are not invited along.  And during these times, let the child know that he’s expected to be a human being…..a talking, smiling, laughing, living human being.  Think of the long term. Teach them the art of conversation - these young people will be running the world in which we live one day, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be ruled by robots. 

Joi

Picking up at M and hoping Q’s dressed and ready when I get there…

M. Lay all meanness and malice aside.  Isn’t there enough of that in the world?  If you feel yourself getting worked up and on the verge of getting offensive or obnoxious - take a break.  By all means, if you have something to say, say it.  But say it to be helpful, don’t say it to belittle - that’s only being little.

N.   Carry a notebook and pen with you at all times.  You never know when you’ll hear or read a quote, get an inspiration, or have your thoughts provoked - with pen and paper handy, they won’t get away from you.  Otherwise, Hasta la vista good stuff.

O.  Be open-minded.  Open your mind to others and their opinions.  If you don’t open your mind, nothing new will ever get in.  The old stuff will just keep bouncing off of one another.  (Can you say dullard?)

P. Passion!  If you feel passionate about what you’re writing about, it’ll come through every word, every picture,  every :), and every !.  Fan the flames and keep them alive.

Don’t ever be afraid to let the passion show through.  You say, “Oh, I’d ne-ver do that…”  Well, if you’ve ever erased a ! to replace it with a ., you’ve done that!

Join my daughters and think about Johnny Depp.  When he signed on for Pirates of the Caribbean, he envisioned Jack Sparrow as a flamboyant, over the top, zany character.  The suits had pictured him as something altogether and though The Depp had lost The mind.  But, he’s who he is, so he won the argument and, in the end, played Sparrow as he wanted to - with as much passion as I’ve ever seen a role played.  His passion came through every swagger, every facial expression, and every “Weeerd he zaid.”  He didn’t play it safe or keep it on the low.  I’d wager that the suits are delighted that Johnny Depp doesn’t erase !s.

Q.  This one’s a toughy, but periodically ask yourself which is at the heart of your blog:  The quality of your information and the quality of your purpose or the quanity of traffic and the quanity of money.  Said another way, don’t sell out.  Yes, we all have to make a living, put kids through college, buy new waterbeds (feel that brick upside your head, Michael?), and so on…but if that becomes our #1 goal, it will be woefully obvious to even the most naive readers. 

Some blogs have more commercials than the Super Bowl. If I’m on a blog and I’m having to search for the content - I don’t search long, I just change the channel.

R.  Read twice as much as you write.  Twice as much should go in than comes out - it’s when the opposite is attempted that people, and blogs, dry up.

S.  Starbuck’s (Or your coffeehouse of choice).  Each of my blogs could read “Powered by Starbuck’s and Beyond the Brim.”  You know you’ve got it bad when you have two coffehouses in your life. I don’t sleep much.

T.  Truth.  Tell it.  Don’t stretch it.  Don’t manipulate it. Sharp people see through the smoke and mirrors, I promise they do.  Then they put a wall of mistrust up between you and them - and if you cause the erection of enough walls, you’ll never see the light of day.

Even if you’re telling the truth, guess what - no one reallllly cares about what car you drive, the size of your house, or the vacations you take.  One thing’s for certain - just like kids on a playground, people care about their own toys.

U.  Be Uncommon.  Booker T. Washington said it best:  “Do a common thing in an uncommon way.”  Don’t try to be, sound like, or look like anyone else.  Put your own twist on what you do.  If your inner Nervous Nellie whispers, “But no one else is doing it this way….” - you’ll know you’re getting warm.  Run with that.  I zip and zoom around the internet all day - not only researching information, designing, writing, and coding - I also observe.  And I had MUCH rather see someone going a bit too far trying something new than to stay in a predictable, safe mode.  B-O-R-I-N-G. 

V.  Use visuals.  Try to make your blog as visually colorful and appealing as possible.  Change things up every now and again - change colors around, rotate banners and images…you know, that sort of thing.

If finding pictures or having a place to upload them is a problem, consider this little trick:  Get a few affiliate accounts.  When you’re ready to create links, you’re ready to create art for your posts and you blog. (Affiliate pictures don’t have to be uploaded - just used.)  Click HERE to see what I’m talking about in action. (It’ll open in a new window) You put the image at the top, then a link at the end - your post looks spiffy and you might just make a little money.  All Posters.com is an excellent place to start - their pay rates are amongst the best, they’re easy to work with, and you couldn’t ask for more beautiful images!

W.  Post at least weekly.

X.  EXplore the world around you.  Don’t get locked into the seat in front of the computer or the one in front of the television.  If that’s all the world that you ever experience - you won’t have much to say unless your blog’s about tv shows, internet surfing or chairs! In order to have something to say, you have to have something worth saying.

Y.  Yes, you can!  If you can write an e-mail, you can write a post.  You’re simply writing an e-mail that (hopefully) many people will read!

Z. Keep it Zippy (Full of energy and vim.) - try to make your blog crackle with excitement. I realize that can seem virtually impossible if your subject matter is buttoned up.   Just inject your personality in there somehow. After a visitor leaves your blog, make sure they know they were there.  Try to give them something that’ll stick with them - a quote, a phrase, a word, a thought. Something zippy.

Joi

I’ve been thinking a great deal about blogging lately - probably a good thing, since my family owns a Blog Publishing biz and I have 14 of my own.  Like everything I’ve ever done in my life, I’ve been learning as I go along - and, yes, over a year into the venture, I’m still learning. Learning’s a good thing, so I’m happy.

Anyway, below are the ABC’s of Blogging as I see it.  They’re just some observations I’ve made from blogging, myself, and from seeing others do it.   I’m not claiming to nail all of them - in fact, as I was working on the post I’d often think, “Oops, need to do that…” and  ”Ummm, I never do that..”

A.  Affiliates - if you want to recommend a book, read it first…a movie, see it first…a coffee, drink it first.

B.  Be honest.  Not only with your facts, but with your feelings.  If you’re dead-on for the war, say so.  Don’t worry about visitors who may be turned off by your feelings.  If you’re dead-on against it, say so.  Again, don’t worry about turning people away.  Think about it - if they’re the sort of people who’d abandon someone for having different views, do you really want them hanging around anyway?  Go after the ones who appreciate and applaud all views - even those different from their own - they’re the most interesting people!

C.  Comments?  Don’t stress over them.  If you don’t get many, it’s not a biggie.  Different people in different niches comment more than others.  It’s funny, with all of my blogs - I get tons of more e-mail than I do comments.  Fortunately, I LOVE e-mail - love getting it, love responding to it.  Most of the time, though, the thoughts are so fantastic I wish like mad they’d leave them in the comments, too, so everyone could read them!

D.  Don’t try to be an imitation of someone else - let your personality and originality shine through.  They’re the best things you have going, show them off to the point of strutting.  Afraid that people won’t get you?  Face it, some won’t - but many more will.  And even the ones who don’t will keep coming back and trying if you keep things interesting.  They’ll see it as a challenge…maybe even a game they look forward to!

E.  Okay, this peeve’s a pet.  Put your e-mail address in plain view! Afraid of spam? Manage it.  Overwhelmed by contact?  Handle it.  Afraid of people?  Get out of blogging.  Blogging’s all  about people connecting with people. If you don’t want to be “bothered” by your readers, don’t bother them!  (Sorry for the bold - but I’ve had to search one time too often for e-mail addresses.)

F. Frequently post.  The more often you do something, the easier it becomes.  A lot of people tell me, “I want a blog but I don’t know what to say..”  My response?  You’re talking now - you can do it then.  The trick is to keep at it.  Every post doesn’t have to be a work of brilliance - thanks be to God on the truth of that phrase!

G.  Try to stay on top of grammar problems.  I’ll admit, snap happens - sometimes a : will come out when you needed a ” or you’ll type to when you know full well a second o was called for.  (By the way, a quickie:  “Too” is the the word that can be used interchangably with also or as well….”My favorite actress is Keira Knightley, but I like Angelina Jolie, too.” That’s two beautiful actresses and I linked to one of them.  I don’t have an Angelina blog to link to….I have a Keira one, and I’d like an Angelina one, too!)

Check up on yourself - but having said that, let me re-emphasize yourself.  Don’t go grammar policing other people’s blogs - uncool. Some people are typing in a language that isn’t their native language….I’d like to see me typing in Spanish or French!  I’d be able to say good day, good night, and I love you.  Short blog.

H.  Be Helpful - try to actually serve a purpose.  Whether you have a save the world fixation that no one can talk you down from (I see you out there, my kindred spirit..) or not, be helpful to someone other than just yourself.  Self-servers can be seen coming a mile away, which is good because it gives you plenty of time to run in the other direction.

I.  Include links and credit when necessary.  Treat other people’s info as you’d want your own treated - we’d want credit, a link, and name-dropping that left a thud!

J.  Just keep going.  DON’T STOP AND DON’T SLOW DOWN.  When you take that first week off, the next one’s easier…then the next one’s the easiest. Before you know it, you’re working on your Patriot’s Day post - and your last post was about New Year’s Resolutions.  Just talk.  Just share.  Just post.  And Just keep going.

K.  Keep it legal, baby.  Keep it all above board (as in the legal board).  Legal headaches are headaches you don’t want - the asprins cost way too much.

L.  Link Leak.  What’s link leak?  This is Link Leak>>>>

M - Z = Tomorrow!  Why?  For one thing, to break up the post so you don’t have to read for two forevers….for another, Q’s proving Quite problematic.  

Joi 

P.S.  If you have any questions about blogging - e-mail me at Joi @ selfhelpdaily.com.

“Believe that you have it and you have it.” - Latin Proverb

Have I told you about my new king-sized waterbed with the bookcase headboard?

Joi

Hey, it can’t hurt to try?

“United we stand, divided we fall”

It may not be much of a quote - but it’s a heckuva lesson.  I made the mistake of reading a few political-themed articles today.  Don’t you hate it when you know better than something but charge on ahead anyway?

It all ended as I knew it would - I didn’t come away with anything but heightened aggravation.  That and the mindset that divisions are sending us all on a downward spiral, scratching and clawing all the way.

Politicians are, for the most part, educated, driven, passionate, ambitious, and patriotic men and women.  If they all pulled their collective resources and worked together, there’d be no need for food stamps, welfare, or war.  Their collective wits would probably do all but wipe out world hunger.  And — it’s a novel idea — but if they put those millions that they spend on the campaign trail to better use, maybe they could wipe out world hunger.

But, no no no - they’re much too busy bickering, pointing fingers, name-calling, and trying to one-up the men and women in the opposite party.

Same thing with the religious leaders of the world.  What all could actually be done in the name of God’s love if no one worried about who got the credit or which denomination was in the spotlight.

Sad to say, but division’s also a problem within many individual churches - the ladies who dress this way on one side, the ladies who dress that way on the other….men in ties on one side, men out of ties on the other. 

Divisions divide, it’s as simple as that. And as someone much wiser than I am said, “United we stand, divided we fall.”

Just a thought from someone who’d rather stand than fall,

Joi

Have you read about the newest outbreak of E. coli?  It seems to have begun with bagged spinach - so health officials are warning Americans that, if they have any, they should throw them out.

Click HERE to read the full story, symptoms, and preventions.

“Everything I have, I owe to spaghetti.” -Sophia Loren

Aging well is a topic that’s popping up everywhere.  As we’re living longer, we want to do so as well as humanly possible, right?  I’ll admit, it can be carried to extreme - just look at the frozen, frigid, and frightening faces in Hollywood.  Personally, I think they’re just trying to hide years of abuse behind all the work they can get.  Not exactly a pretty sight.

Then you have someone like Sophia Loren - a complete freak of nature, and I mean that in the best way possible.  She’s as radiantly lovely now as she ever was - and seems to be even happier. Happy’s always beautiful.

Maybe it’s an Italian thing.  Below’s a link to a pretty interesting article on Secrets of Aging Well - It gives the European side of the human vs. aging battle.  As with everything in life that we’re up against, the more we educate ourselves - the better our chances of success.

Find the Secret Behind Aging Well:  Italian Style

Have an amazing weekend, 

Joi