August 2007

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would have preferred to talk. - Doug Larson

I can’t believe I’m even thinking about approaching this subject…it’s one of those subjects that everyone has an opinion about.  Not just any opinions, either - STRONG opinions.  Add to that the fact that my opinion is incredibly unpopular.  That’s the recipe for disaster.  It’ll do little more than invite mean, snippy little “Are you out of your mind?” e-mails. 

True story:  After an innocent-enough little post about being a fan of Pamela Anderson, I got a furiously angry e-mail from someone so furious she couldn’t even type.  After calling me a crazy botch, she asked if I was out of my minds.  I told her I only had one and that, as far as I knew, I wasn’t out of it.  I signed it Soncerely, Crazy Botch and never heard from her again.

If Pamela got me called misspelled names, what - pray tell - will Barry earn me?  You guessed it, Barry as in Bonds - Mr. Controversy, himself.

First of all, I have absolutely no respect for people who lie.  I probably hate lying as much as I do anything - lying, racism, hate crimes, child abuse - I wish they’d all stayed in hell where they belong.  The fact that a select group of athletes aren’t being 100 percent honest and open causes me to lose respect for them as people.  But I’m not in the market for any sort of stones - especially not the kind to be thrown.

The chances are very good that Barry Bonds took something he doesn’t want everyone to know about.  Everything points in that direction.  And the point that so many other athletes have done the same thing doesn’t make it okay.  However, I’m on the side that says he should have been allowed to keep playing, and I’m on the side that says he deserves the title.  In an ever-dwindling group, I’m even with the ones who think an asterick is ridiculous.  (when I say ever-dwindling, I mean there are three of us……and number two is on the fence) 

I think of it kind of in these terms:  Let’s say John Doe cheated on a lot of final exams in college but was never caught.  Then he went on to make the Dean’s List and graduate with honors.   I don’t think he should be penalized at a later date. 

The school should have watched him more closely then, not now….after the fact. He did what most people with little character do, he got away with what he could get away with.

People do things they shouldn’t do on a regular basis.  What about President Clinton?  He told some whoppers - lies so big they’ve become part of history.  Never inhaled…he didn’t have sexual relations…  He was also elected President of the United States.  Was he the only president to ever lie…give me a break!  Unfortunately (or fortunately?) he just wasn’t very good at it.  He might be worse at lying than anyone I’ve ever seen.

Paris, Britney, Kobe, Mel, Lindsay, Nicole….  They all get away with what they can get away with.  Possibly my favorite female singer of all time, Whitney Houston, has been a pretty bad girl - but if she ever puts out another cd, I’ll run/not walk to buy two copies:  One for my vehicle and one for the house.  I won’t brand them with an asterick, either.  She’s human, like the rest of us. We humans make mistakes - heck, we pile them on top of one another.  All the people named in this post just have the misfortune of having their piles, so to speak, aired in public.

The point is, there are no perfect people - and, sadly, there aren’t very many who even come close. 

I congratulate Barry Bonds on his accomplishments.  He’s a great baseball player and I’ve enjoyed watching him play.  I’ve enjoyed watching his children’s excitement more than anything.  Children who probably don’t understand any of this madness at all.  They must think there are a lot of nasty people out there!  I’m sure they wonder why everyone isn’t happy for “daddy.”

Long before Bonds made history, he had people who didn’t like him.  He comes across as arrogant and cocky - and, probably, because he is!  But that’s just a part of who he is.  It isn’t a crime to love yourself some self.  Mark McGwire once said that he amazed himself.  Maybe I love self confidence a little too much, but it’s one of my favorite quotes from an athlete.  I liked it a heck of a lot better than all of the “I can’t say’s” he said during the hearings.  I just wanted him to once say, “I still amaze myself.”

I’m not going to debate what should or shouldn’t be done with any of these people who’ve done wrong things, with varying degrees of wrongness. I’m very  laid back, often too much so, so I’m very selective about what things I stress over.   Shaky celebs and shady athletes, overall, just don’t register as more than bleeps on my radar.

Some people may not be able to understand that, but I can’t understand getting all worked up over things that don’t affect your daily life.  The people who are “in the right” are probably somewhere between me and the spitting, spewing high-stressers.

All in all, what I’m getting at is this:  There’s very, very little…as in nothing….we can do about people who don’t play by the rules.  There’s little we can do about people who lie, cheat, or don’t play well with others.  We can’t police the world.  We can only take care of ourselves and our own little corner of the world. 

We can’t control how they ACT, but we can control how we REACT.  In the same way that a goldfish becomes so accustomed to being in water that he doesn’t realize there’s life outside of water, people who overreact get so accustomed to it that they don’t realize there’s a happier, healthier existence down on the even keel.  The ones spewing venom all over the place seem to think that their outbursts are going to effect the balance somehow…..if they make enough noise and stir up enough hate, the scales will tip and they’ll change the entire situation.  That’s just not going to happen.  Same way that shaking your fist and calling the little old lady in front of you at the stoplight names isn’t going to make her drive any differently than she’s capable of. 

It’ll just make you look like a bigger fool than the one that got you so worked up in the first place. Sure, you’ll put on a pretty good show, but you’ll be defeating your purpose - you’re taking the attention off of the one you’re so angry at and putting it all on you.  Said another way, you’re making a damned fool of yourself.

I’m, of course, talking about the Nasty Nellies of the world, not the ones calmly giving their opinions.  There was a man on ESPN a few nights ago that almost made me switch my anti-asterick opinion, but I held onto it in the end.  That’s the beauty of opinions, they’re one of the only things in life you can ever hang onto and refuse to give up. Right or wrong, we make them our own and nobody has the right to try to steal them away.

We do, however, an injustice to our opinions when we scream them and throw them in everyone’s lap.  Do we have a right to give ours?  Abso-freakin’-lutely.  We should give them in the manner I used to feed my daughters in when they were babies.  I’d gently put the spoon to their little heart-shaped lips and let them “taste” or “sample” the food in question.  If it was something they liked, they’d open their mouths like little birds and the food would disappear.  If it was something they wanted no part of (like strained green beans), the lips would clamp right shut, right after they spewed green all over their bib, highchair, me, and whatever else was nearby.

If it were something they didn’t like AT ALL, I certainly didn’t pry their little mouths open and force them to eat it. We should be at least as considerate with our opinions.

One more thing, I know that a lot of people are using the argument that Barry Bonds (and the others who are out of the spotlight that Barry’s in the middle of) are hideous role models.  They’ll make kids want to use steroids and other substances, etc.  Barry isn’t raising anyone’s kids except his own.  Putting that kind of shackle on him isn’t fair….no more than saying other athletes will make our kids drink because they do beer commercials, drive beer-sponsored cars, or have their pictures taken while drinking.

A lot of people are beginning to turn into bullies over this situation and they’re hurting whatever cause it is they think they have.  Barry Bonds has the title and will have until Ken Griffey Jr., Albert Pujols, Adam Dunn, or A Rod take it away.  Can’t we just let him and his family have a little peace?  There’s enough nasty in the world - no one should make it their goal each morning to cause more.

Here’s a radical idea, but why not make it our goal to bring more peace into the world instead of less?

Hopefully, that’s not too much of a crazy botch idea.

Choices are the hinges of destiny. - Edwin Markham

I’ve never been able to get videos to behave properly on this theme - I’m not sure if it’s my wordpress causing me problems or the theme, but whichever I get a red x each time I try.

But there’s a great video I want you to see.  Soooo, I’m going to link you to another one of my blogs where I can play videos all day if I so desired.

Here’s the link - check it out, it’s one of the best videos I’ve ever seen.  And, uh, yeah, I’ve seen billions. 

http://www.thementalfitnesscenter.com/blog/the-strength-in-numbers/

Fight one more round. When your arms are so tired that you can hardly lift your hands to come on guard, fight one more round. When your nose is bleeding and your eyes are black and you are so tired that you wish your opponent would crack you one on the jaw and put you to sleep, fight one more round - remembering that the man who always fights one more round is never whipped. -  James Corbett Quote

It’s a regrettable thing to have to begin a post with an apology, but that fate falls upon my keyboard this morning.  A while back - okay, several months, I admit it - I was sent a great book by its publishers (Thank you, thank you, thank you again!).  Whenever I’m sent a book or products to review for one of my blogs or sites, I pride myself on getting it done right away.  9 times out of 10, we’re talking a day or two.  However, books can take a little longer.  Especially if there’s a lot of great information to process, which was the case with “The Not So Big Life,” by Sarah Susanka.

I’m truly sorry that this review wasn’t posted sooner - but that’s what you get for publishing such a thought-provoking, life-affecting book like this one!  What’d you expect?  This isn’t just a book, after all, it’s an education.  And no education that I know of can be completed in mere months.  None worth having anyway!

Actually, it’s a two-part education.  The MAJOR is in an area I already knew I loved with a consuming passion:  Self Help.  The MINOR is in an area that I never really thought much about - the fascinating world of architecture. 

A Little Background

The author, Sarah Susanka, is an architect as well as a writer.  She’s the author of the bestselling book, “The Not So Big House.”  In TNSBH, she gives her expert advice on making homes BETTER, not BIGGER.  Guess what philosophy she brings to “The Not So Big LIFE” - right, how to make our lives BETTER, not BIGGER.  Brilliant?  Brilliant.

From the inside cover:

Most of us have lives that are as cluttered with unwanted obligations as our attics are cluttered with things.  The bigger-is-better idea that triggered the explosion of McMansions has spilled over to give us McLives.  For many of us, our ability to find the time to do what we want to do has come to a grinding halt.  Now we barely have time to take a breath before making the next call on our cell phone, while at the same time messaging someone else on our blackberry.  Our schedules are chaotic and overcommited, leaving us so stressed that we are numb, yet we wonder why we cannot fall asleep at night.

Wow, does that sound familiar or what?  We’ve become somewhat like hamsters running around in a wheel….gotta get there, gotta get there, gotta get there.  Problem is that there keeps moving.

In a very, very entertaining manner and with an extremely well-written style, Sarah Susanka details the similarities of designing a home and designing a life. Thought provoking?  Try thought propelling, thought arousing, and thought awakening.

From Chapter 1, “Blueprint For a New Way of Living” to Chapter 12, “Being at Home in Your Life,” I was challenged to look at every nook and cranny of my life - upstairs and downstairs, inside and out.  Exhausting and invigorating at the same time!  The reader is led on a tour of their own life, to examine everything from their foundation to their present structure.  You’re shown how to find cracks in your foundation and how to mend them.  Your structure (or life) will only be as firm as your foundation.

Another problem with writing a book review for such an amazing book is that if I told you everything I wanted to tell you, two things would happen:

1. The post would be so long, I’m not sure anyone would even attempt to read it.
2. I’d give away everything and you wouldn’t have any need to buy the book!

I don’t want 1 or 2 to happen, so I’m trying to keep from giving away too much.  Personally, I’d do just about anything to make sure each and every one of you bought this book  journey.  It’s that important.

One of the things that makes “The Not So Big Life” so special - and the main reason this particular Self Help Enthusiast is telling you, “If you buy two books this year, make one of them The Not So Big Life and the other one Dean Koontz (pick one)” - is this:  There isn’t an author or so-called “expert” telling you what your weaknesses or strengths are.  YOU determine them.   A so-called “expert” isn’t giving you a ridiculous one-size-fits-all solution or advice - YOU come up with what’s best for you.  With clear guidance and tons of real-life examples, your given the map…but the journey?  It’s yours.

If you ask me, that’s the whole key to self help anyway.  That’s why it’s Self Help rather than Somebody Help.  It’s also the only way we’ll ever grow.

The chapters of “The Not So Big Life” deal (in beautiful depth) with the following components of Self Growth and, in turn, a “better” life:

1. Developing a Blueprint for a Better Way of Living
2. Noticing What Inspires You
3. Identifying What Isn’t Working
4. Removing the Clutter
5. Listening to Your Dreams
6. Learning to See Through the Obstacles
7. Improving the Quality of What You Have
8. Creating a Place and a Time of Your Own
9. Proceeding Through the Construction Process
10. Moving Into Your Not So Big Life
11. Maintaining Your Newly Remodeled Live

The Not So Big Life Notebook

Readers are encouraged to create a notebook and use it as they read the book.  I bought a nifty purple on and did just that.  While it slowed down the review, it proved to be unbelievably rewarding.  It wasn’t long before I realized that I was doing more than just interacting with a book.  My purple notebook wasn’t just a compilation of reflections and notes - it was a blueprint for an even more rewarding life.

It never ceases to amaze me how insidious our conditioning is.  I’m conditioned to be always too busy.  For you it might be something else, something that seems equally real and equally frustrating.  Just like the fish that doesn’t realize it’s surrounded by water because it’s in it constantly, our conditioning is so much a part of our experience that we forget it’s there and fall into the idea that the outer world is conspiring to keep us from doing what we want to do, when in fact our obstacles are self-generated.

Great stuff!  This is the most timely book one could hope for.  It gets us right where we live and shines the spotlight on all the right places.  Use the link to the right or scour your local bookstore….just be sure you read this book.

When I was thinking of a closing sentence to sum everything up - a closing sentence to compel you to buy this book - I kept coming back to the same thing.  I’d toy with things like: “Instead of going to Applebee’s this weekend, do something that’ll impact your life even more than their garlic potatoes…” - but then I realized how much I love Applebees, and how much I want some of those very potatoes.  Then I thought…beg! Yeah, that’ll work.  But I always came back to the same phrase - so that’s what I’ll go with.

This is the book you were meant to read. 

I’ve fallen in love with a few culinary cuties lately: Cranberries and Raspberries.  The little tarts have me wrapped around their litttle orbits.

Cranberries

Cranberries, come to find out, are actually very good for us.  Apparenty they’re packed with antioxidant polyphenols, which promote healthy blood flow.  University of Wisconsin-Madison experts tested cranberries on pigs, because their blood vessels are similar to ours.   They had been bred to develop constricted arteries (the pigs, not the experts). After 6 months, the blood vessels of the pigs who were fed cranberries were as stretchy and normal as those of normal pigs.

Cranberries up your polyphenol intake with chocolate, strawberries, pomegranates, and black and green teas.

Cranberries also have a rep for preventing bladder infections - nasty, nasty things those bladder infections.

Raspberries

The other cutie I’ve become smitten with is raspberries.  I never even used to pretend to like raspberries or raspberry flavored anything - but Starbucks recently featured a raspberry-flavored coffee that got me hooked.  I’ve even started asking them to put raspberry syrup on top of my Green Tea Frap.  I’ve, now, officially given myself a craving…or as we’re apt to say in Kentucky, a “hankering.”  

Lab studies have also shown Raspberries to have strong anti-cancer properties and antioxidants.

Next time you’re at the store, load up on berries!

Who says you can’t get anything for free anymore? 

I was researching html validation, search engine spiders, and search engine performance today and came across a few websites that made my job a lot easier.  I’ve linked them below, so if you have a website or blog, you’ll want give them a look when you get a chance.  On second thought - make a chance, the information’s THAT important.

Free Internet Marketing and SEO Tools - I was particularly impressed with #17, the Spider Viewer.  It allows you to see your page as a Search Engine Spider would.  I ran some of my websites through and was amazed at the lack of some keywords as well as the abundance of some utter nonesense!  I have a little work to do.

Dr. Watson’s HTML Validator - Again, you enter your url, then you’re presented with a list of “errors” found in your html.  Rest assured, there’ll be errors.  I read an article on About.com and the author said that their own website had lots of errors.  It does, however, point out some basic html validating errors that could be causing problems in other browsers and/or wreaking havoc in your search engine performance.

Below the list of errors found, you’ll be able to see your html code with numbers before each line - it makes it a cinch to find exactly where the problems lie.  Did I find any errors on my websites?  Again… I have work to do.

I’m terrible about getting all caught up in the pretties of a website or blog - the images, the colors (I’m waaay into colors.).  Sometimes I have to handcuff myself to the desk and make myself dig behind the scenes….look under the covers, so to speak.

The main reason I launched myself into this research was because one of my websites (Buttermilk Press) (and corresponding blogs, Get Cooking) is performing about as miserably in GOOGLE as it possibly can. I guess there’s just so much competition in the field of recipes, it’s tough to break into the top pages.

The websites above gave me a wealth of information, though, so I may have a shot now. With enough effort, who knows, I might even land in the top 5,000!!!

If you happen to be sitting on any SEO knowledge you’d like to pass on to me, I’d welcome it with open arms.  After all, how will the world enjoy my amazing buttermilk biscuit recipes if they never find them?!  Geez.