September 2007

A few days ago I was feeling kind of blue - which is unusual because I’m usually much more in the pink, purple and red range.  But even we peacocks have days when our eyes feel more like rain clouds, as though even the slightest provocation in the world would result in a downpour. The kind even Noah would appreciate.  What made the matter worse was that few things WEREN’T provocations!  Every song on the radio, every thought in my head, something one of my cat’s said, something another cat didn’t say.  Yep, one of those days.

It’s not that I don’t know what colored my world blue - I know perfectly well.  For all the magic and bliss that fall brings (it’s my favorite season, in fact), there is an unspoken rule, it seems, that everyone feels kind of lonesome inside for a coupld of days.  It’s a longing for people who saw fit to move on to Heaven ahead of us. Both of my parents are there - far too young to have made the move in my opinion.  My in-laws are there as well.  My husband’s sister has moved on, as well - from a sudden accident.  WAY too young to not still be alive planning her Halloween mischief and Thanksgiving menu.

I miss all of them throughout the year, of course, but somehow their absence is especially glaring during this time of year.

Anyway, I was feeling lower than a celebrity blog’s sense of humor a couple of days ago and a few things cheered me up.  Just in case you’re hit with this sort of melancholy over the next months, I thought I’d share what helped me - in the hopes that, should you need a little lift, the ideas will provide it.

First of all, oddly enough, I reminded myself of words from a movie my family and I saw recently, The Last Legion.  A young boy lost his parents and was being consoled by a character played brilliantly by Ben Kingsley.  Kingsley’s character told him that his parents weren’t really “gone,” they were just in the next room.

Simple words, yes. But the imagery and the hope they provide have, in all honesty, done more to bring peace of mind to me than thousands and thousands of others.  When I think of all of our loved ones in the next room it makes everything better.  Especially since they’re in a far superior room, with a view that’s, literally, out of this world. 

Thinking of that made me kind of smile.  Then I thought of a few people I knew in my world who were also, for various reasons, standing in the blue zone. Realizing first hand how it sucks to misplace your smile, I thought I’d try to help someone else find theirs. After all, just because mine was hiding didn’t mean I didn’t want everyone else to have theirs!  So I went to Hallmark.com and browsed through some crazy e-cards.  Then I sent one off to each with a few mushy little words.  Hallmark’s “Screaming Banshee” character had me laughing out loud, my husband asking questions, and my 18 year old cat convinced we were being invaded by flying monkeys. 

It was more than the banshee and her big ol’ mouth, of course. It was knowing that the cards would help to make someone else smile. That made me happy and, you guessed it - I found my own in the process.

I think my melancholy has passed - I’m back to filling up ghost candy dishes, rearranging scarecrows, digging out my favorite Sweet Potato Pie recipe, and OF COURSE preparing the halls to be decked in grand fashion.  But if the blues sweep down on me again, I’ll be ready.

Come to think of it, we need I want a newer, bigger, fatter Christmas tree this year.  The husband will be thrilled to know that.  Not a problem, though, I’ll just butter him up with a Sweet Potato Pie.  The way to a man’s wallet is through his stomach.  That IS the saying, isn’t it? 

A show that has achieved Can’t Miss in my world is The Biggest Loser.  I’m a sucker for success stories of any kind.  I love to see individuals, through passion and sheer determination, knock down obstacles that stand between them and their castle in the sky.  I admit, I cry along with them when their heart breaks and I cry for them when they put the heart back together.

Human triumph - what a rush!

I’ve gotten inspired to really amp up my family’s diet with healthy foods and cut out those that are unhealthy to the point of dangerous.  If we started looking at things like fried foods and fast food burgers as “dangerous” instead of just “fattening,” I think we’d all do a better job of avoiding them.

A few small steps we’ve made:

1. If we’re going to be out running around (very, very often) and we’re certain a drive thru is in our future, we’ve started taking our own drinks, as in water or tea. This way, we won’t be tempted by the soft drinks.  After all, there’s only room in the drink holder for the drinks that are already there.
2. We’ve switched from red meat sandwiches to either fish or chicken - and always grilled instead of fried.  McD’s has an amazing grilled chicken sandwich.
3. When possible, we choose Subway over the others.  A vegetarian subway with the sweet onion sauce is as good as anything you could get anywhere.
4. Fries are totally off limits. When we get hit by fry cravings, we have a baked potato, instead.  Perfect? No, but better than fries.

The health factor isn’t the only thing you can take away from The Biggest Loser. There’s an amazingly inspiring undercurrent to each show.  People who are up against seemingly impossible odds fight and then fight some more to get past those odds.  These are classic examples of individuals who are up against the biggest and most able-bodied enemy we’ll ever face - ourselves.

Something that one of the ladies said on the first episode this season has stuck with me.  She said that she was through whining and complaining about what she didn’t like about herself and was, now, ready to do something about it. You go, girl…then keep on going!

Whether it’s a weight-y matter we’re up against, money matters, or something else - we have two choices: 

• A.  We can continue to let it sit in the driver’s seat, yielding total control of the steering wheel, even though we HATE where it keeps taking us….while we ball up in the backseat in a fetal position, crying.  Or..
• B.  We can say, “Screw this!” as we climb over the seat and take the wheel.  The minute we do that, our own personal, evil “matter” has no choice but to retreat to the backseat. 

Just like there’s only room enough for one drink in a drink holder, there’s only room enough in our life’s driver seat for one driver.  It’s either us or it isn’t.  Oh so much can be accomplished on the good side of a “Screw this!” moment.

I’ll see you there!

Priscilla Palmer had a brainstorm and is allowing those of us with Personal Development/Self Help Blogs to splash around in the puddles. Fun!

She started off with five of her favorite Personal Development blogs and has invited everyone else to add five of their own.  She then takes all of the blogs and lists them in a master list. 

Priscilla’s List:

Aaron Potts at Today is That Day

David Rogers at How to Have Great Self Confidence

Henrik Edberg at The Positivity Blog

Karen Lynch at Live The Power

Lyman Reed at Creating a Better Life

Joi’s Additions:

Mike Sigers at Simplenomics

Mis Bear at Love is the Best Medicine

Alexys at Unraveling the Spiritual Mystique

Shai at Self Help Diva

Modern Worker

I actually have many more blogs I check out and love, but I thought these 5 would be a great place to start.  They, in my opinion, not only fit the “Personal Development” genre, they each have something else that I seek out in blogs:  A personal voice.  Every blog and/or site I link to on Self Help Daily and Out of Bounds has that going for them.  They’re written by people who are very comfortable with who they are - no pretentions, no chep impersonations.  They’re cut from the cloth that’s imprinted with the words, “This is me, this is who I am, this is what I do and this is how I do it.”

They’re the sort of bloggers and people who I suspect say “Thank you!” when told “No one else does it like that…”

Other blogs I read and love can be found in the links in the sidebar.  Some are simply personal blogs that I enjoy greatly, like Pretty in the City. (Love her!)

Thanks, Priscilla, for the opportunity to take part in this great idea.  I intend to go back to the master list and pig out on the buffet of wisdom.

Btw, this is a great opportunity to say this:  If anyone has linked to me on their website or blog and you don’t see yourself linked back here - please e-mail me, as there must have been an oversight.  When I switched my e-mail from joi @ selfhelpdaily.com (spam hell!) to joi @ aim.com, some of the link requests and other e-mails flew off to never never land. Just let me know and I’ll be thrilled to link back to you.  Link love?  I’m all about it.

As I told you a few posts ago, I subscribe to quite a few Health and Fitness Newsletters.  One of my favorite (right up there with Prevention’s) is Truth About Abs.com’s newsletter.  It’s always packed with great information.  The most recent edition tackled a popular subject amongst the health gurus these days:  The Glycemic Index.  It was really interesting and I wanted to share it with all of you beautiful people, so here it is in it’s entirety.  If you’re into nutrition and health, you’d really enjoy the newsletter - so visit the site and jump on board. - Joi

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I’d like to start a little discussion today about carbohydrates… and in particular, potatoes. One reason I wanted to mention this is because so many health and fitness professionals trash talk potatoes about being a bad carbohydrate choice because of the high glycemic index. Some even say such ridiculous things as “avoid any and all white carbohydrates”.

Ok, now while I certainly agree that white bread and refined white sugar are two of the worst things we can be feeding our bodies, I definitely don’t agree with avoiding any and all “white carbohydrates”. Now I know all of the buzz lately has been about colorful foods and the protective ant ioxidants that they contain. They tell you to focus on colors and stay away from white. It’s true that colorful foods are great, but it is a big mistake to specifically avoid white foods! There are plenty of white foods that have specific nutrients that are hard to find elsewhere. Let’s look at a few examples…

What about onions and garlic? They are both white and they are chock full of protective phytonutrients, vitamins, and trace minerals that aren’t easy to find eslewhere in a normal diet… such nutrients as allicin, quercetin (an important flavonoid), chromium, and other unique anti-inflammatory nutrients.

Another example of something white that is great for you is cauliflower. Cauliflower is loaded with vitamin C, fiber, minerals, and special compounds such as glucosinolates and thiocyanates, which are specifically abundant in cruciferous vegetables such as broccoli, cauliflower, and cabbage.

Not many people realize this, but surprisingly, even white mushrooms have high levels of unique nutrients and antioxidants. White mushrooms are high in a couple types of antioxidants called polyphenols and ergothioneine.

Now that also leads us to another example - white potatoes (which by the way, can also be found in red, yellow, purple varieties, etc). Many health professionals claim that potatoes are a bad carbohydrate because they are thought to have a high glycemic index. First of all, if you’ve read my Truth about Six Pack Abs book, then you understand that glycemic index is not necessarily the most important factor in choosing your carbohydrates.

While a generalization can be made that most low glycemic index carbohydrate choices will help you lose body fat easier than high glycemic index choices, it is not all that it’s cracked up to be. There are many other factors that determine how your body will react-to and process the carbohydrates you ingest, such as glycemic load and also how you combine the high GI food with ot her foods.

For example, using glycemic load as an example… it is known that watermelon has a high glycemic index. However, the glycemic load of a normal serving of watermelon is just way too low for your body to start packing on body fat just because you ate a high glycemic index fruit. You would have to eat such an enormous quantity of watermelon just to get enough grams of carbohydrates to have any negative glycemic effect, that it is just non-sensical.

Not to mention that watermelon is also a great source of vitamins, minerals, and lycopene. There’s just no reason to avoid it simply because it has a high GI. My point is… candy bars, cupcakes, and donuts make you fat… NOT watermelons, carrots, or potatoes.

Also, as i mentioned, food combinations are important in how your body processes the carbohydrates and the associated blood sugar and insulin response you receive. For example, if you mix a high glycemic index carbohydrate with an extra source of fiber, healthy fats, or even certain proteins, many times the blood sugar and glycemic response will be slowed down considerably by the way you combined the food. Again, I talk in detail about this entire topic in my Truth about Six Pack Abs book

Alright, so back to my point that white potatoes are actually a healthy carbohydrate as long as you eat them in the right form… with the entire skin, and please don’t ruin them by deep frying them into french fries either! French fries are one of the most evil things ever invented for your health, but only because we ruin them by soaking them in a scorching bath of trans fats in the deep fryer from the hydrogenated oils that are typically used.

Keep in mind that potatoes contain so many vitamins and minerals that the list is way too long to even try. Also, as long as you eat the skins, you get a decent shot of fiber too.

On the topic of potatoes not being so bad after a ll, I don’t remember where I saw this referenced, but I recently saw a particular study that had participants eat something like 7-9 whole potatoes per day for several weeks. At the conclusion of the study, the potato eaters had actually consistently lost wei.ght! I’d venture a guess that the reason the people lost we.ight is that they were probably so full from eating all of those damn potatoes, that they actually consumed less calories than normal! An average sized potato only has about 100-120 calories, and I can surely imagine you’d be full constantly from eating 7-9 potatoes each day.

Now I would never recommend going to those extremes, but my point is that an occasional potato is not going to hurt your efforts to get lean, especially if you combine it with some other fibrous vegetables and maybe a healthy fat and some protein. On that note, I have one of my favorite recipes for you, using potatoes.

Geary’s Lean-Body Potato Side Dish

• Desired quantity of baby potatoes (I like to use this mixture I found recently at a health food store… it is a mixture of white, red, yellow, and purple baby potatoes)
• 1 red pepper
• 1 green pepper
• 1 yellow pepper
• 1 or 2 onions
• a couple cloves of garlic, finely chopped
• 1 or 2 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
• a little salt and pepper to taste (I like using a sea salt instead of normal commercial salt)

Cut the baby potatoes into slightly smaller pieces and place in a steamer until soft all the way through. Slice up the peppers and onions into strips and add with the chopped garlic into a pan with the olive oil. Cook the peppers, onions, and garlic until tender, and then add the steamed baby potatoes. Stir it all together and serve. This is a delicious and healthy side dish that goes great with chicken or red meat.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this little topic today about potatoes, healthy carbohydrates, glycemic index, and my killer potato recipe idea! That’s about all for today.

One last thing… For all of you busy people out there that find it hard to fit working out into your daily schedule, be sure to visit my new website geared towards busy people that need fast but effective workouts - http://busymanfitness.com/

Have a great week, and I’ll be back in touch soon.

Stay lean,

Mike Geary
Certified Nutrition Specialist
Certified Personal Trainer
Founder - http://truthaboutabs.com/ & http://busymanfitness.com/

Happy Friday! Gaby, from Mind Think Success left a few great quotes in one of her comments and I didn’t want anyone to miss them:

“He who stands still,will be run down by a truck, even though he is standing towards the correct direction”
“If you don’t invest in you, why should anyone else?”- Randy Gage

Have a wicked weekend - lots of Starbucks + lots of football = lots of smiles. Unless you’re an Eagle’s Fan like my daughter, Stephany. If that’s the case, you might want to forget about football - the players have. 

Did I…did I just burn my own daughter???

Scorched her little butt.

Thanks, Gaby, for the quotes!  Everyone click the link above and check out her great blog - your brain will thank you.

This is one of those quotes that inspires me every time I read it.  It makes me want to take on roughly 4,596 new endeavors.

One of my favorite philosophers, Henri Frederic Amiel, also sends my mind off looking for new avenues to explore with these words:

“He who is silent is forgotten; he who does not advance falls back; he who stops is overwhelmed, out distanced, crushed; he who ceases to grow becomes smaller; he who leaves off, gives up; the condition of standing still is the beginning of the end.”

We all have, within us, more capacities than we ever even realize.  Capacities for growth, change, and improvement. One of the problems is we get too comfortable and content.  We settle into what we have and simply accept who we are - as we are.  Sure, self-acceptance is a grand and glorious thing, but not at the cost of stunted growth.

If you’re like me, you not only know you can grow more - you’re eager to do so.  You are, after all, currently gracing a web site called Self Help Daily, so I’m thinking you’re a go-getter looking looking to go get!

Below are a few suggestions to help Go Getters get along:

1. Gag the little voices of doubt inside of you.  If you’d like to learn something new….go for it!  Don’t let little voices tell you that you’re too old to go back to school, too shy to take a dance class, too scared to take flying lessons, etc.  You can do anything you want to do, you’ll find a way to make it happen.
2. There’s no time for finger-pointing or blame games in a Go Getters life.  What your parents did or didn’t do, what your spouse says or doesn’t say, what God has allowed or hasn’t allowed - none of that matters.  Water under the bridge.  Put another way, a crutch you don’t need.  You are responsible for yourself - for better or worse. Let go of any resentments you’re carrying around, they’re only weighing you down, after all!
3. Take a good, long, hard look at your habits.  The saying’s true, you know, …first we make our habits and then they make us.  If you have any that are standing between you and self growth, invite them to leave.  And by “invite them to leave,” I mean pull them, push them, spit on them, pull their hair, poke them - whatever it takes.  Play dirty?  You bet!
4. Now that you have the vehicle (you!) primed and ready, ask yourself where you want to go.  Don’t think you have to take the shortest, easiest path - take the one you want to take to get you where you want to be!

J.C. Penney (I love you, man, I really really love you, man.) said, “No one need live a minute longer as he is because the creator endowed us with the ability to change ourselves.”

What are you waiting for?  Get growing!

Okay, so the post title already warned you:  I’m about to whip out my “Over-Simplifying Hat” and pop it on my head.

Hat in place and we’re off…

At what point did our society become a Makeover Society? When did we all become Bob the Builders and Helper Wendys looking for something to fix?  Nothing wrong with wanting to help others - I’m a card-carrying member of the Save the World club.  But, somewhere along the way, far too many people have gotten carried away.

EXAMPLE 1.

My family and I went to a particular church for a while.  We came to love quite a few people there as they were our own family. When we first joined, we noticed that the church leaders were kind of “picky” about certain things.  Then the pickiness, which was nurtured and allowed to grow, did just that.  It grew into a pile of Overly Critical nonsense.  The type of nonsense that does anything but draw people in.

From The Cosby Show to ladies perfume (wish I were kidding), the church leaders left no stone unturned or unthrown.

The final straw?  A young, zealous to the point of foaming at the mouth, youth leader was ranting about something he’d found in a teenager’s room. I braced myself, with one eye on the young person hanging their head down in the front row - I was ready for the worst.  The outraged young man reached under the pulpit and pulled out a rolled up poster.  As he starts to unroll it, most of us can’t make up our minds if we want to look or not.  Mothers were shielding young eyes as I considered shielding my husbands….then, I look at the poster in all of it’s unrolled glory. It was a Lion’s King poster. Animated lions from a Walt Disney movie had caused all the furor.

My jaw never recovered from that drop.

THAT’S what you get when you make it your mission to police the world and everyone in it. Ultimately, you set out to find all the WRONGS and ultimately, you find them.  Then, like a hunter gone mad, you press on to find more WRONGS.  When that’s the only thing on your mind, ultimately you begin to see the bad in everything. Even animated movies. Ultimately, that’s what you want - finding wrongs to a Fault Finder is like Pac Man finding fruit:  BONUS POINTS, BABY!

Oh, one more ultimately - Ultimately, you end up looking like a buffoon.

Another example…not quite as outlandish…is the Health Nuts.  Just like most Church Leaders, Health Fanatics have something wonderful to share (I’m giving the edge here to the Church Leaders, though - for obvious reasons.) - better living, happier lives, and improved health.  Great stuff.

H-O-W-E-V-E-R, I’ve noticed a trend with some of these well-meaning men and women. At the rate they’re going, inside of a year there’ll be nothing left they’ll allow us to eat or drink other than green tea.  I have a great interest in healthy eating, so I subscribe to about 4 different newsletters.  In addition, there’s one I love that my husband forwards me as well.  Yes, there are some foods that are bad for us - foods that make our hearts and arteries incredibly unhappy.

But, come on….everything?  There are some of these people that I’d love to spy on in the grocery store.  Can you imagine what their cart must look like?  Carrot Juice, Green Tea, tomatoes, and…. I dunno, white turkey meat.  But they can’t grill it, of course - that, somewhere along the way became a no no.  Maybe they’ll boil it.  Yum.

Again, I know I’m over-simplifying - and I’m fully aware that we need to know about the baddies in life. I’m just saying that if you look hard enough for bad, you’ll find it. And if bad is all you ever look for, that’s all you’ll ever see - then, you’ll have your own Lion King Poster moment, and it isn’t pretty.

 I suppose if one looked long enough at Eva Longoria they’d find a flaw. But why would you want to? Personally, I think it’s a cool idea to look for the good things around us.  No, not to the point of grabbing an umbrealla and hopping from roof to roof in black stockings….unless, of course, you’re up to  it.

Remember, the world’s a pretty amazing place.  If you want it to be.

I caught some words speeding out of my mouth the other day and had to pull them over for questioning.  It wasn’t the speed limit they were breaking (Sure, I talk fast, but I’m used to that - people around me listen fast.), it was the “Whatinthebloodyhell” are you talking about rule they were abusing.  And when I say abusing, I mean bludgeoning.

I was in the supermarket with daughters 2 and 3, also known as Brittany and Stephany.  We were in the produce aisle when the words broke the law of reason.  With a cart carrying potato chips, Halloween Candy (Yes a month early, what of it?), and ingredients for my favorite Brownie with a Walnut in every bite recipe I tell my girls, “I’m really tryin’ to eat healthy these days.”  As soon as the words came out, I pulled them aside.  Sure, they were embarassed, but they know the laws of reason and broke them anyway.

I’m sure it’s not the first time I’ve ever claimed to be “trying” something when, in effect, I was only thinking of it.  There’s a world of difference between TRYING and THINKING and two worlds of difference between THINKING and DOING.

I should have said “I’ve been thinking about eating more healthy foods and cutting out the junk.”  Then I would have, at least, been in the right lane!

If we really, really want to improve in any area of our life, we need to hold ourselves accountable.  When we say, I’m trying to eat more healthily (Or I’m trying to quit smoking, I’m trying to work on my temper, I’m trying to make more money, I’m trying to lose weight……), we’d do well to ask ourselves, What are you actually doing?  After all, try is a verb - so when we use it, we should be taking some sort of action, right?  Unless, of course, your trying (like mine in this instance) is more thought than action.

Next time you say, “I’m trying….,” police yourself by asking, “How?”  You’ll probably stop yourself in your tracks.  While stalled, come up with an action plan - one that’ll carry you from trying to doing (like replacing potato chips with air popped popcorn). 

Living within the laws of reason is a much more peaceful place - as long as you smuggle in the ocassional brownie with a walnut in every bite.

In my family’s Web-Publishing business, we often look at rare, out-of-print books in the public domain. Occasionally one will have a timelessness about it, allowing it to be given new life and a second chance to enlighten and entertain a new generation of knowledge-seeking, eager readers. For book lovers, like myself, this is too exciting to even describe.

Nine times out of ten, however, they’re simply too out-dated in their terminology, approach, and/or overall message.  However, there’ll often be a passage (sometimes even a chapter) that I’ll use on my websites or blogs.  This allows the author to sort of “Time Travel” into our modern day and find a whole new audience. 

Today’s Time-Traveller is one of my favorite authors:  Grenville Kleiser.  Even before I had books for business partners, I collected them for my own personal use.  Mr. Kleiser had his own personal shelf - he still has it….great property, too - a Penthouse shelf.  Thanks to by husband’s ebay skills, I nearly have every word Grenville Kleiser ever wrote!

Ina book published in 1917, INSPIRATION AND IDEALS, Grenville Kleiser wrote an inspirational entry for each day of the year.  Kind of a time-lined blog in a book.  But he was so much better about being concise and to the point than I could ever hope to be.  I tend to ramble like an 85 year old substitute teacher with purple hair, cracker breath, and sensible shoes.

I was reading through this book over coffee earlier, picking out quotes for the Quote Collection like they were grapes on a vine.  One of the entries was so perfectly perfect and so brilliantly brilliant that I knew what it had in mind:  It wanted to come back to life in a blog post.

So without further delay…or rambling (See?!  See?!?!), here is the entry as it appeared in 1917.  Some things really are timeless.

To be strong and true;  to be generous in praise and appreciation of others; to impute worthy motives even to enemies; to give without expectation of return; to practise humility, tolerance, and self-restraint; to make the best use of time and opportunity; to keep the mind pure and the judgment charitable; to extend intelligent sympathy to those in distress; to cultivate quietness and non-resistance; to speak little and listen much; to adhere always to a high standard of thought, purpose, and conduct; to grow in grace, goodness, and gratitude;  to seek truth and righteousness; to work, love, pray, and serve daily; to aspire greatly, labor cheerfully, and take God at His word - this is to travel Heavenward.

The real secret of success is enthusiasm. - Walter P. Chrysler

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The important thing to remember is that if you don’t have that inspired enthusiasm that is contagious, whatever you do have is also contagious. - Danny Cox

The enthusiastic, to those who are not, are always something of a trial. - Alban Goodier

Enthusiasm is self-confidence in action! - Franklin Field

Nothing good or great can be done in the absence of enthusiasm. - Tom Peters

You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm. - Colette