December 2007

Angelina Jolie, deservedly, topped Reuters’ 2007 Humanitarian poll for both her work as a U.N. goodwill ambassador and for raising awareness of suffering in Africa.

What exactly does that have to do with anything?

Just this:  Several years ago (when she was in the news for vials of blood, kissing her brother, etc…) the sentence above would have made a pretty good joke in Jay Leno’s monologue.  Angelina Jolie…humanitarian?  Ha ha ha. 

But, she turned her life so completely around that, now, when you hear the name, your first thoughts are of her being a wonderful mother and a serious actress. You also think of her as being very active in the causes she believes in.  You think of her generosity overseas as well as at home in the aftermath of Katrina.  You also, of course, think of her dinner companion, breakfast companian, and lunch companian - Mr. Pitt.

If Self Help Daily gave “Person of the Year” awards, she would also top its list. I have nothing but respect for anyone who looks out their window, sees suffering and injustice, and goes outside to do something about it.  It’s so much easier to just close the blinds.

I’m in awe of the work both Angelina and Brad do, but I’m even more in awe of the way she turned her life around and pulled her name up out of the gutter.  Amazing.

It’s proof to all of us that anything’s possible.  One of my favorite sayings has always been, You aren’t known for what you did - you’re known for what you do.  You can erase yesterday’s mistakes with tomorrow, but you have to make your mind up today to do so.

Once you have a firm determination to do so - encourage yourself with the mantra Make It Happen.  It’ll serve as a reminder that:

1. You CAN make it happen.
2. Only YOU can make it happen.

It does, of course, take more than a strong resolve to get there from here. We have to set ourselves up to succeed rather than to fail.  The key factor in the success or failure of most New Year’s resolutions lies, not between January  to December, but on New Year’s Eve.  You can pretty much tell THEN if your resolutions will be a failure or a success.

How?  By answering one question - “What am I doing to make my resolutions happen?“  If your answer is, “I’m writing them down,” you’ve set yourself up to….more likely than not…have to write the same resolution again next year.  And the next.  And the next.  (I’ve been there!)

So, what is the secret to making the Resolutions actually stick?  Glue! Writing resolutions down isn’t glue - it’s just words.  The only way to turn the words into reality is to provide yourself with the tools to make it happen.  Think about it, the reason we keep writing the same resolutions down year after year is we never set ourselves up for success.

For example…

• If one of our resolutions is to be more organized, yet the only thing we ever do to make it happen is to write the words, “Be more organized” - we aren’t making it happen, we’re wishing it would happen.  But if we invest in a file cabinet, more shelves, a desk calendar, and maybe even a day planner - we’ve given ourselves the tools we’ll need to make it happen.
• How about losing weight? If we don’t do something proactive to make it happen, it’ll never be anything but a lovely dream with a trim waist and firm arms.  But if we invest in a gym membership, an exercise machine, a subscription to Prevention, or some great exercise DVDs, we’ve given ourselves the tools we need to make it happen.
• If we want to eat more healthy foods, we have to outsmart ourselves at the grocery store.  If we go when we’re fairly full, we’ll be more apt to buy healthy foods - to the tune of fresh vegetables, fruits, whole grains…  Also, falling in love with Subway is another great tool. I promise, a healthy sub and a bag of apple slices will give you more energy for the rest of the day than any other lunch could ever hope to.  Sometimes, doing a little research (not only finding what foods are good and what foods are bad, but finding WHY their good or bad) can be a perfect motivator.
• For the infamous resolution to keep your home or closet neater, investing in special crates, shelves, and closet organizers can turn the words into reality.  Also, we should all go through our things and haul off anything and everything we don’t absolutely love.  We’ll be doing a good deed and tidying up at the same time.
• Speaking of good deeds, if becomming more active is a goal - and I give you a cyber pat on the back if it is - doing a little research into various charities and causes will help steer you in the right direction.  Going through and writing reminders to ”support” your cause on your desk calendar (you know the one that’ll organize your 2008) on certain days of the month will help keep you honest.
• If you have a tendency to speed, begin getting ready and leaving at least 10 minutes earlier.  Then, there’ll be no need to hurry.  In fact, you’ll probably end up driving slower to kill more time. 
• If you’re one of the many who want to start reading more, place books (whether it’s the Bible, historical non-fiction, or novels) in strategic positions:  Near your favorite seat in the living room or den, in the bathroom, by your bedside.  If they’re on the shelf all day, that’s probably where they’ll stay until the next day.
• If you want to learn a new language - go out and buy cassettes and cds that’ll help you.

Basically, whatever it is you want to accomplish, make it easier on yourself.  Give yourself the tools you need to make it happen!

I mean this from the bottom of my heart - I hope that every day of 2008 is more than you dreamed it would be.  I hope that you live well, love much, and laugh often.  You can do anything you set your mind to and you can be anyone you want.  Peace, happiness, and joy! - Joi

Sometimes a short, simple affirmation…or mantra…can make a huge difference and leave an impact in its wake that can be felt for a lifetime.  One of the most inspiring stories of “overcoming an addiction” I ever heard involved such a mantra.  A young man overcame a serious drug and alcohol addiction and totally turned his life around.  He told me that he kept telling himself, “I will do this.”  When temptation tapped him on the shoulder, he’d encourage himself to look the other way by whispering, “I will do this.”  When it smacked him in the face, he’d yell, “I WILL do this!”

And he did.

As we motor toward 2008, I want to challenge all of you to come up with a 3 to 6 word affirmation to inspire and motivate the rest of us.  It can be one you’ve used, yourself, or it can be one you plan to adopt for 2008.

If you’re a blogger, I’d love for you to write a post centered around your mini mantra.  Then, leave a comment with a link directing us to your post.  If you aren’t a blogger, I still want to know your thoughts, of course!  So, leave your words of motivation in the comments as well.

My personal favorite mini mantra has become, ”Make it Happen.”  I love this mantra’s attitude - it doesn’t encourage us to wait around, hoping that what we want falls into our proverbial laps.  It refuses to let us take a passive or inactive stance in life.  It totally holds us accountable, and isn’t that how it should be?  “Make it Happen” reminds us that we are in the driver’s seat, as opposed to the backseat - meaning we have to relentlessly keep our hands on the steering wheel and steer our own lives in the direction we want it to go.

It doesn’t give us any wiggle room or permission to say things like:

• If only I had more time…
• I don’t have enough money…
• No one will help me!
• I can’t catch a break…
• I’m too old…
• I’m too young…
• I’m too frail…
• I’m too heavy…
• I’m not smart enough…
• I don’t know how…

If we were to even try to utter any of the phrases above, this mantra would stare us dead in the eye and firmly say, “Make it Happen” before we even got the words out.

I think that, probably, the reason this mantra appeals to me so much is because I need it so badly!  It just so happens that I am the most laid back person in the world. The title belonged to my dad, but when he passed away, I moved into the top spot.  In addition to that title, I’m also the stereotypical only child. I was spoiled off my butt when I was growing up, and frankly I embraced it.  If I had a mantra it then it would have been, “Someone will take care of that…” or “I’ll get around to it…”   But everyone grows up, right?  Even little spoiled brats!

Make it Happen is a firm reminder that if you want something to happen - it’s up to you to…… Make it Happen. 

I look forward to reading your own mantras and thoughts.  I realize it’s a very busy time of year, so if you only have time to post the mantra - go for it.  After all, a really good mantra is a lesson all on its own.

Memory can be a prickly thing, can’t it?  Personally, I’ve always wondered how the same brain that can recall every single word of every single Janet Jackson, Fergie, and Shania Twain song can forget to grab milk.  Especially when it’s the very thing I went to the store for in the first place.  But there you have it, sometimes the brain is on our side and sometimes it seems to be playing its own game.  And keeping the rules to itself. 

It seems that, for me anyway, the busier I am… the more proverbial pots I have on the proverbial stove… the more apt I am to overlook this, misplace that, and forget whatever it was all together. 

I read a super article about Recharging Your Memory on Prevention.com today.  One of the suggestions hit home for me.  I lost my cell phone a few days ago (a common occurance; it just can’t keep up). 

I needed to leave immediately but since my husband sweats bullets when my cell doesn’t ride shotgun with me, I knew I needed to find it asap.  The panic was quickly rising from my toes toward my head, and since I’m 5′3 - it’s a short trip.  When I was pretty much waist deep in it, I took a deep breath and cleared my head.  Then I retraced my steps and ….aha!…. it had been watching a documentary on King Tut with me.  Sure enough, there it was next to my favorite chair - lingering long after the credits had rolled.

As the article says, “Re-creating the situation puts it into some context, which makes your memory work better.”

When you get a chance, check out Tips to Recharge Your Memory.  Great stuff.  

I’m about to become one with my kitchen, so the computer and I will be estranged for a few days. I wanted to wish you the merriest of Christmases before heading off to the kitchen, though.

Enjoy every single moment with your family, remember you’re making memories that will last forever…not just for you, but for everyone you love as well.  Smile and laugh till it hurts, eat till the cook blushes, and love everyone unconditionally. Treat each present as though it’s exactly what you’d always hoped for and live life like it was meant to be lived.

Most of all, be sure to thank God for the greatest Gift ever given and the sweetest Love ever shown!

Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones - and I’ll see you on the 26th!

Joi

New Year’s is a time for resolutions, and according to SUCCESS there is no better time design the person you want to become and the life you want to live in 2008.

Publisher and Editorial Director of SUCCESS magazine, Darren Hardy, offers the following advice on how to make 2008 your best year ever!

1. Decide to be Successful – Success is not a dream, hope or fantasy; it is a decision. Make the decision to change, improve and act on your ambitions.
2. Design your Best Year Yet – As an architect would design a skyscraper, write out the goals, plans and actions it will take to achieve the life you want to live.
3. Identify Your Passion - What are your unique interests, talents and gifts? Passion attracts success. Find what you love to do - you will never “work” again.
4. Program Yourself for Success – You will see, perceive, expect and create what you think about. To program your mind for success – read watch and listen to materials that will support your success. 
5. Surround Yourself with Success - You are the combined average of the five people you hang around the most. Surround yourself with healthy, success-minded achievers.
6.  Model Success - The best way to learn to be successful at anything is to find someone who is where you want to be and model their success habits.
7. Master the Fundamentals – Don’t complicate it. About a half a dozen things make up 90%+ of what it takes to be successful at anything. Keep it simple. 
8. Get Fit - The mind cannot achieve what the body cannot perform. Your family, friends and career and future depend on your good health. Make it priority No. 1. 
9.  Remember What’s Important – At the end of the journey what will have mattered most will be your relationships – the people you love and those that love you. Make sure they are on your goal list for 2008. 
10.  Make a Difference – What do you want your life’s legacy to be? You have the power to make a positive difference – to a single person, a neighborhood, a community, a nation, the world. Realize that power in 2008.

About SUCCESS magazine:

 SUCCESS, published bimonthly, is designed specifically to serve the growing entrepreneur, home-based and small-business markets. SUCCESS features today’s thought leaders and success experts, leading CEOs, entrepreneurs and other achievers with practical advice, ideas, tips and training on leadership, goal setting, time management, selling, motivation and much more. SUCCESS retails for $5.95 and is distributed nationally with an initial rate base of 100,000. http://www.successmagazine.com

Thanks, Rachel for passing this along for my readers (and for me!).

A few weeks ago, Michael called me into the living room to show me something on the television.  It was a story on a local channel about an adorable older couple from Kentucky.  I’m not sure exactly how old they were, but I’m certain that recalling their 60th birthday would be a challenge.

The husband, as it turns out, is an amazing harmonica player.  The best I’ve ever heard.  My jaw hit the floor as my spirit soared.  However, it was the wife’s words that tapped me on the shoulder and, literally, made a change in my life.

She was telling the show’s host about things that she loved - what she enjoyed most in life.  My kindred spirit talked about cooking and her great passion for gardening - especially her flowers.  My first thought was, “What a wonderfully sweet and simple life - no wonder she’s lived so long and is, obviously, so happy.“  My next thought was, “I’ve always loved cooking and gardening, too. I just don’t have time to enjoy them as much as I once did, though….“   Then, I sort of stood there wondering why I don’t have as much time for them anymore. 

I still cook, of course - to the tune of every single day.  But I once was able to escape to the kitchen and experiment with new dises for hours at a time - as happy as a young girl in front of a Zac Efron movie.  Maybe happier!

And my flowers!  My flower beds and herb gardens would literally stopped traffic.  You’ve heard the phrase, “I did this and I did that…then I got married”…. or… “then came the children.”  My husband and children have never gotten in the way of things I enjoy in life.  They’re perfect for trying new recipes on, and the husband…..excellent with a shovel!

In my case the phrase is “I did this and that…then came the blogs.”  This past summer, I never even set out tomatoes - let alone my beloved herbs, peppers, cucumbers, and squash.  I put out a row of glads, hung a fern, and set out a few pots of petunias - but that’s nothing compared to the showcase I normally pull out.

It had gotten to the point that I didn’t control my online ventures - they controlled me.  Controlled me?  Okay, they owned me  It can become a rat race, can’t it?  You feel like you’ve got to blog every single day, you have to check your Google performance, you have to update, you have to generate more links, etc. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t do our work and do it well.  I’m just saying that if we look closely enough, we can find unnecessary things in our daily routines that steal time from us. Time that can be spent enjoying life and everything we love about it!

I sat down that evening, with a pen and paper.  I challenged myself to come up with ways to simplify my life.  So far, so great!

Here are some suggestions you might find helpful if Simplifying your life is something that sounds appealing to you:

S - Get a pen and paper and Sit down, just the three of you. Examine everything you do. Make yourself accountable - no one else has to know but you, because no one else needs to know but you. Do you complicate your life by trying to do too much? Or do you simply take too long to do what needs to be done?

I - Put on your detective’s hat and Investigate ways to eliminate unnecessary tasks or time consuming habits. For example, if you’re like me, you probably check your e-mail three times too often during the day! Stop checking the e-mail so often - it’ll be there waiting for you. And seldom, seldom, seldom is it ever so urgent it can’t wait a little while.

M - Make changes. If you can identify anything that needs to change - give yourself a nudge and go for it!

P - A Place for everything and everything in its Place. We’d probably all be amazed how much time we waste just looking around for things. My cell phone and I have come to an understanding - he’s to stay put in one certain place. When he follows me around the house, he just gets lost and can’t find his way home. I get frustrated, we have words…

L - Sometimes, you just have to Let go. I have actually decided to let go of a few web sites. Not my main ones, of course! But there were a few that I didn’t really even enjoy anymore - I held onto them out of habit, I guess. I always thought it’d bother me to part with them - but, guess what? I don’t miss them at all! In fact, the word free comes to mind.

I - Forget the Instant mentality - nothing “instant” is nearly as good as the alternative. Instant oatmeal? Nope. Instant potatoes? Gross. Instant coffee? Please. Simplifying your life probably won’t be an overnight process, so don’t expect it to be. Know that it’s a process and you’re working TOWARD a simpler, better, more enjoyable life. If that’s not worth being patient for, I don’t know what is.

C - Clean house! Literally. Organize closets, drawers, the refrigerator, the utility room, the home office, book shelves, etc. The busier your life, the more chaotic they’ll get. Take an entire day and just work your little butt off! Haul things off to Goodwill or The Salvation Army by the trunk loads. Room by room, closet by closet - think how great it’ll feel…and look.

I - Plan out your Ideal day - hour by hour. Write down everything you wish you had time for. An hour reading your favorite author? An hour of yard work? 30 minutes on the treadmill? Write them down.

T - Time management Baby! Now, look at your list of things you want in your ideal day and make a schedule. Depending upon how anal you are (No, Emily, I wasn’t calling you, go back to studying, sweetie.) - you may want to write your schedule out hour by hour. Personally, I go with a “Get my errands done by 9:00….Get my work finished by 2:00, etc..”

Y - Oh, Yes, you can! Never let anyone…not even yourself…tell you that you can’t change. You aren’t known by what you DID, you’re known by what you DO. So, get to doing what you want to do and leave the dids and the doubters in the dirt.

We suffer one of two things. Either the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. You’ve got to choose discipline, versus regret, because discipline weighs ounces and regret weighs tons. - Jim Rohn, Conversations with Millionaires: What Millionaires Do to Get Rich, That You Never Learned About in School!

Isn’t that a amazing quote?  I spent a little time alone with it this morning, really letting it sink in and the deeper it sank, the more amazing it was. Discipline: The conquerer of great things vs. Regret: The coward who was conquered by all things.

Okay, maybe that was a little dramatic - I was caught up in the moment.

The father of the quote, Jim Rohn, went on to say, The reason is because the regret is an accumulated affect a year from now.  When you didn’ do the easy discipline.  He then gives a perfect example of what he’s talking about - one of my own personal phobias, dentists!  We’ve just about all been there.  The dentist tells us we need a procedure done that’ll cost around $300, but we really aren’t having much pain, so we say, “Thanks, but I think I’ll just see how it goes.”  How it goes is this:  We’re back in his office a couple of weeks, possibly months, later in a great deal of pain facing a fresh form of hell that’ll cost closer to $3,000.

I’ve also had a lesson in this philosophy courtesy of my Dodge Caravan.  It’s a very pretty van and I love it madly, but it taught me a hard, costly lesson a few years ago.  First of all, I play the radio and cds loudly, so if the vehicle’s who’s its and what’s its are in distress, I’m not very apt to hear their s-o-s calls, unless it’s between songs or I’m on the cell phone.  But I did, I have to admit, hear her tipping and tapping - kind of lie tiny morocas under the front end of the vehicle.

My response?  I believe I turned up the music.  I figured it was too little a noise to worry about - if there was trouble, it’d be a bigger, more hideous sound.  Surely if there was trouble, she wouldn’t go…..right?  The hideous noise came,  my buddy stopped moving, and I stopped grooving.

Costly?  Yes, Lord.

Another area where Discipline’s ounces and Regret’s tons comes into play is, ironically enough, the area of fitness.  We wonder, “How did these (5, 10, or 20) pounds sneak up on me?!”  Ounce by ounce, of course.

When we don’t discipline ourselves at every single meal and with every single “hankering,” we pave a fat-laden road to regret.  If we don’t have the discipline to exercise every single day, the pounds will make themselves at home and invite friends over.  Man! I hate it when they invite friends over!!

Before you know it, we’ve put ourselves in the position of being self-concious and unhappy with ourselves, at best, and in danger of a host of health problems, at worst.  Suddenly, heart problems, Diabetes, and a plethora of cancers all know our address - information we had hoped to keep from them.

Costly?  Yes, Lord.

“We suffer one of two things. Either the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. You’ve got to choose discipline, versus regret, because discipline weighs ounces and regret weighs tons.”

Incidentally (By the Way’s on vacation…), the book this quote appeared in - Conversations with Millionaires - is an excellent book.  It’s, literally, a conversation with nine self-made millionaires.  When self-made millionaires talk, I not only listen, I take notes!

The nine individuals interviewed are:

• Jim Rohn - Very successful success mentor
• Mark Victor Hansen - Co-Auhor of the Chicken Soup for the Soul book series
• Wally “Famous” Amos - Chocolate Chip Cookie King!
• Jack Canfield - Self-Esteem expert and Co-Auhor of the Chicken Soup for the Soul book series
• Robert Allen - Best Selling Author
• Sharon Lechter - Co-Author of the Rich Dad, Poor Dad book series
• Michael Gerber - Small Business expert and author of E-myth
• Jim McCann - CEO of 1-800-Flowers.com
• Jay Conrad Levinson - Author of the Guerilla Marketing book series

If you use the link at the top of the post, you can find a wicked deal on Amazon.com - as you know, they offer used books as well as new copies. Buying two or three used books for the price of one new one is always as cool as Coke on ice.

It’s not something I’m particularly fond of doing, but I do (every now and then) reflect on mistakes I’ve made - whether they were in the past year, the past day….or if I’m in really rare form, in the past hour.  No, I’m not a sadist.  And I’m definitely not a pessimist - I’m a realist.  A realist who has come to realize that our greatest lessons lie in the text books of our mistakes.

If you were to think back over some of your own beauts, you’d find lessons that were learned, whether you even realized it at the time or not.  Maybe you nearly made yourself sick-and-or-nuts by trying to do too much.  You realized what you were doing, scaled back and learned a very valuable lesson.

Maybe you misspelled a word in a blog post and were called out by a human spell checker. Perhaps the bite of their words caused you to double check your’s forevermore.

Maybe one of your biggest mistakes was a big fat jump into the wrong conclusion and the lesson, “Look before you leap” has stayed with you since. (Make no mistake about it….excuse the pun….this lesson is a great one!)

So, the next time you make a mistake, don’t kick yourself around 4 counties.  Don’t stew in your own juices, and most ceraintainly don’t call yourself hateful names. 

Rather, take yourself out for a Latte (or Frappuccino if the weather’s warm) and toast yourself for a brand new lesson.  You won’t be celebrating the mistake - you’ll be celebrating the lesson it taught and the wisdom you’ve gained.   Said another way, you’ll be toasting to self growth - so, go ahead and have a cookie, too.

*** By the by, a sweetie recently e-mailed me asking if she could use one of my Quote graphics on the site (I believe it was on one of the Quotes pages). She said she had trouble finding images for her posts and would love to use one I’d made about Eagerness.  I told her exactly what I’m telling you now - I’d be honored for you to use any of the ones I’ve done, as long as you give an active link back to Self Help Daily on your blog or web site.  I’m making more that’ll be popping up all over the site - all I ask if for a link back.  Does that make me a link whore?  You bet your sweet a href it does.

As the Iowa caucuses are looming, things are getting profoundly interesting in an arena where interesting isn’t often the code word. If you’re like a lot of people, you’ve gotten pretty disenchanted with politics and, even, politicians.  Maybe even to the point of not following the news.  I heard a man on television say he couldn’t pick Barack Obama out in a crowd.  When the reporter asked him, “How about Mike Huckabee?,” his expression said it all - he hadn’t even heard of him. I’d love to say the man was a teenager or was barely out of his teens, but the truth is, he probably has teens of his own!

This really isn’t a post about a particular candidate, or even a party. I’m not trying to support one party or politician, and I’m most definitely not trying to knock anyone.  I try very, very hard to never throw stones.  Stones hurt.  I’m not into that.

So what is the post about?  It’s about educating oursleves, enlightening ourselves, and expressing ourselves. The 2008 Election is huge - and the time is perfect to start learning all we can about these individuals who are courting our trust, our loyalty and (most definitely) our all-important votes.

Who you vote for is entirely your business, as are your beliefs and the issues you stand by.  I’ve read great deal about each party’s candidates.  We’re dealing with a very intellectual group of people - on both sides.  Each politician would bring something special to the White House and to his or her term(s).  I’m actually kind of torn between several of the candidates. I’m still reading, listening, and watching. I hope you have a candidate you’re already passionate about. I just hope that the passion was born out of being excited about who they are and what they represent - not out of who they aren’t or what they don’t represent. 

I really only want to do one thing with this post today:  To encourage everyone to read about the candidates (both sides) and to see what issues they support.  Visit their web sites and learn all that you can about each individual.  Don’t make the mistake of saying, “I’m going to vote for this one, so I don’t care what they say.“  Open your mind and educate yourself.  Sure, you may go right back to the one you chose in the first place - but your decision will carry a lot more weight then, won’t it?  And when others ask you who you’re supporting, you’ll be able to back your decision up with facts.   

The bad thing about closed minds is nothing ever gets in.  The only thing inside a closed mind is what was there all along.  Kind of like a smelly, moldy hamper - no circulation!

Also, I’m really hoping that people will vote for an individual - not for or against a sex, a race, or a party.  I’ve seen and heard so many people zeroing in on the fact that Hillary Clinton is a female and Barack Obama and Alan L. Keyes are black men.  They’re individuals (intelligent ones, at that) and they deserve to be looked at as Presidential Candidates - not as a sex or a color.  They shouldn’t be supported for those birth-given facts, they should be supported because or what they can do for our country.  They shouldn’t, of course, be shunned either. That would be narrow-minded at best, ignorant at worst.  Frankly, I’m just tired of celebrities endorsing candidates when the first and last thing out of their mouth is about their race or sex.  People earn an education, they earn a reputation, they earn respect….they don’t earn the color of their skin or the F or M on their driver’s license. 

I’m proud to be a female and I’m proud to be a Kentuckian - but I had nothing to do with either and I wouldn’t deserve to be celebrated or belittled for either.  I think I’m a great wife and mother to three daughters and four cats - that I’ve earned.  That would be worthy of pats on the back - or better yet, a drink from Starbucks.  I’m a lousy driver and my bedroom closet looks like a tornado just tore through it - that would be worthy of a tsk tsk - or better yet, a drink from Starbucks (I’m just saying…)

Oh, yeah, I’m completely over these individuals being looked at as a female and black men.

Hopefully, when it comes time to vote people will vote for the individual they feel will honestly serve their country the best.  It doesn’t matter if that person is black or white, male or female, Democrat or Republican. It doesn’t matter what their last name is.

Finally, one more thing that drives me nuts - when people treat their vote like a Thanksgiving turkey or Boiled Custard.  Having turkey on Thanksgiving is a great, honorable family tradition.  Drinking Boiled Custard each December is another tasty tradition.  But choosing who you want to lead our country isn’t something that should be approached from the, “…this is how we’ve always done it…” stand point. There are people who vote for a certain party simply because their family always did so.  Issues?  What issues?  I guess things were kind of different for me when I was growing up. My dad’s side of the family were (and are) Democrats. My mom’s side of the family were split - half were/are Democrats and the other half were/are Republicans.  My mom always voted Democrat until the one and only Ronald Reagan came along.  He changed everything for her!  My dad, in spite of his family being 100 percent Democrats, was always a Republican (even before Reagan).  So I’ve always known that I had to learn about the individuals and vote accordingly.  Ironically, President Kennedy and President Reagan were two politicians both of my parents held a great deal of respect for.  I honestly don’t remember anything about Mr. Kennedy - only what I’ve read.  But from what I’ve read about both men, and from what I saw first-hand with Mr. Reagan, I think my parents were right on the money.  I have nothing but respect for them, either. 

Below are web sites that can give you more information about the main candidates (alphabetically, of course).  With an open mind, I encourage you to read what each has to say.  And, as with everything in life, never let hate factor into your thinking.  Some people say the names Clinton and Bush with nothing but venom dripping from their mouths.  Not cool.  Get to know the individuals and,  for the love of God and Country, don’t let other people, the news or the entertainment industry do your thinking for you. Whether you loathed, liked, or loved Bill Clinton or either George Bush really has nothing to do with the names below.  They are their own individuals with their own issues, ideas, and beliefs.

Hillary Clinton

John Edwards

Rudy Giuliani

Mike Huckabee

Duncan L. Hunter

Alan L. Keyes

John McCain

Barack Obama

Bill Richardson

Always remember, knowledge is power, which makes a lack of knowledge nothing but a big nasty pile of susceptible, exposed weakness. 

What exactly is Positive psychology?

Positive Psychology is a fairly new field that has all ready gained recognized from the American Psychological Association. Many stress-control experts are having great success with its principles. In an upturned nutshell, Positive Psychology focuses on finding and promoting the conditions and factors that make people’s lives better. Instead of focusing their energies on things that cause unhappiness, researchers in the Positive Psychology field center their research around the ingredients of a good life. Sound good? Personally, I think it sounds great!

I’ve always been the sort of person who tries to focus on the positive. When my husband and I were first married, we moved from a very large apartment to a much, much smaller one. When writing letters home, or talking about the move, I always referred to the move as being one, “to a cozier apartment.” I came to love that cozy apartment. In fact, it and its 4 rooms are one of my favorite homes ever. The outlook, I’m sure, had a lot to do with moving from an apartment to one that could fit into it’s living room….and thinking that it was a great thing. I also called upon my inner Mary Poppins a few years back when we moved from a large beach house on Pensacola Beach to a small house in Earlington, Kentucky. (Granted I had to call loudly for her, she had locked herself in a closet.) After a few days of what we might as well call shell-shock, I started looking forward to Kentucky’s gorgeous autumns and springs. I even started looking forward to the Kentucky winters that I’d grown up with. I had, honestly, missed beautiful snow and (as it turned out) ran outside to greet it on the first day it snowed. In my pink housecoat, white houseshoes, and morning coffee I’m sure I looked like a complete idiot. But I was a happy idiot!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m nowhere near perfect - but we all have good traits. One of mine just happens to be a knack for finding silver linings.

One of the things that we Silver Lining People have to battle, however, is a complete intolerance for people who never even try to find the silver lining. We’re probably just as annoying. Happier, though!

Have you ever stopped to think about how your outlook affects your health - mental and physical? First, honestly this question: Do I tend to be an optimist or a pessimist . Then keep reading to see how you’re either (A) Sitting Pretty or (B) In need of finding a new seat! Optimistic people tend to cope better with stressful situations. An optimist is more apt to look at stressful situations as opportunities and/or challenges. They’ll often put a “spin” on an unpleasant happening. Often it’s a coping mechanism that kicks in and allows them to get through the bad time(s). When my mom suddenly died in 2006, she joined my dad who had passed away 11 years earlier. One of the things that got me through the worst time in my life was the fact that I’d never have to lose either of my parents again. I’d been through the worst and would never have to return.

Many studies also indicate that optimists fare better physically as well as emotionally and mentally. A long-term study of more than 830 Mayo Clinic patients published in Mayo Clinic Proceedings in 2000 found that those classified as pessimists had a 19% higher risk of mortality over the course of 30 years than those who were optimists. A 10-year study of 1,300 men based on data drawn from the Veterans Affairs Normative Aging Study was reported in Psychosomatic Medicine in 2001. It suggested that a sense of optimism may protect older men against developing heart disease. If you aren’t an optimist, don’t let this information make you even more pessimistic! Simply let the facts sink in. Instead of CHASING OPTIMISM, I want you to simply RUN FROM PESSIMISM. With practice and determination, you can most definitely alter your outlook. Don’t think of it as trying to make yourself something you’re not, think of it as taking yourself away from something you don’t want to be.

It All Starts in Your Head

Start thinking of thoughts as building blocks. If you’re able to catch your negative, pessimistic thoughts in the building block stage, you can rearrange them before they “build” words or actions. If, for example, you’re thinking that someone is irritating you or not living up to your expectations - look around for more positive blocks! Find something you like about them and the situation. Let’s say you’re spending an evening with your 15 year old son and his 3 buddies. You’re all watching television together and the amount of Cokes and chips these 4 are going through is beginning to weigh on your mind. Instead of focusing on those negative thoughts, focus on the fact that you’re spending an evening with your 15 year old son and his 3 buddies! He thinks you’re “cool” enough to bring his friends around and they think you’re cool enough to grace with their presence. Personally, I’d fix them sandwiches to go with those chips and coke. (Actually, last time one of my daughters had a friend over, I ran for McDonald’s - always a hit.)

[ Let me say, however, that being optimistic doesn't mean being an moron. If anyone... it doesn't matter if they're 15 or 95....is doing somehting out of reason, not saying something doesn't make you an optimist, it makes you an ostrich. And I'll be the first to say that I believe most ostriches are optimists. They're optimists with t-shirts that say, "Live and Let Live" and hats that say, "Free Bird." If it sounds like I know what I'm talking about a little too well, it's because I know what I'm talking about a little too well! Remember earlier when I said I was far from perfect? With sand in my hair, I pretty much meant that. I've been known to take headers into sand - and, like most people, I'm still working on finding that perfect balance. Being an optimist doesn't mean you'll ever be an ostrich, anymore than being a pessimist doesn't mean you'll ever be a curmudgeon. It just so happens that most ostriches are optimists and most curmudgeons are pessimists. However, I'll always stand by the belief that an optimist will have a happier, healthier life than a pessimist. ]

Two techniques used in positive psychology are humor and journal writing. It’s believed that keeping a journal can be very beneficial - if you write more about the things you’re happy about and things that are going well for you. I think this philosophy takes a page or two out of the “Count your blessings” book. It’s an amazing approach, if you think about it!

Be certain that you never, ever underestimate the benefits of laughter. Researchers have found that laughter actually boosts the immune system and lowers the amount of circulating stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. Can you imagine how grateful your heart would be if you found more opportunities to laugh?! No wonder we always feel so good after an episode of The Andy Griffith Show or a movie that makes us double over.

I guess we could sum it all up by saying: Start looking for more reasons to smile and more reasons to laugh. They’re there and have been the whole time!