July 2008

Self Discovery.  This one phrase has more life-changing power in it than most people realize.  You can’t possibly improve ANYTHING unless you first understand it and know it for what it is, inside and out.  That’s why I love programs, books, websites, lessons, etc. that have enough sense to focus on self discovery. 

It’s only after an individual has a clear understanding of where they’re coming from that they can realistically chart in which direction they hope to move next.  If you or I have no idea who or where we are, we’re prisoners to our own lack of knowledge and we have no more direction than an autumn leaf riding in the wind.

I’m sure you don’t like leaving your fate up in the air anymore than I do!

For as long as I know, I’ve kept journals.  I’m pretty sure I’ve gone into great detail about my notebook obsession - I have thoughts, reflections, quotes, randomness, and journal entries all around me.  Their benefit doesn’t necessarily lie in the future.  Truth be told, I don’t go back and re-read what I’ve written very often, not unless I’m feeling nostalgic or need a little piece of information I can’t “pull up” all by myself.  The benefit of writing things down takes place during the writing - when my thoughts, hopes, feelings, dreams, worries, etc. come spilling from my mind onto the page. 

There’s something amazingly wonderful about writing down your innermost thoughts.  Very often, mid paragraph, something comes out you never fully realized existed.  Talk about self discovery! I’ve always thought of journal writing as “Putting yourself in the best possible hands - your own.”

The Progoff Intensive Journal Program is an ingenius integrated system where you use this sort of self discovery to lead to self development and self improvement.  The direction we all want to head in, to be sure. 

This Intensive Journal Program uses writing exercises to aid in this self discovery - in my opinion, a brilliant idea. 

The Intensive Journal workbook is the basic instrument in which you write about your life. It is a three ring binder containing tabs, each of which covers a specific area of your life. Examples include personal relationships, career and special interests, body and health, events, dreams, and meaning in life. - Intensive Journal.org

Since the founder was a leading authority on C.G. Jung, depth psychology and transpersonal psychology AND journal writing, you can sort of think of this Intensive Journal Program as a journal with a psychology degree!

Take a few minutes, now, and try a sample Intensive Journal Exercise. I did the written exercise, myself, prior to writing this review. I read everything on the website and thought, “After I go through my recipes, get my grocery list together, and go to the store, I’m definitely going to write a post about this program.” However, after doing the sample written exercise and actually benefiting from a few insights it brought forward, I wanted to share it with you right away. The recipes and groceries aren’t going anywhere - but you can.

Self Development is just a step away….

The above is a sponsored review, which merely means that I’ve been paid to give my opinion. Whether I like or dislike a product is my own choosing - as are all of the words and all of the thoughts. Frankly, if I don’t completely approve of something or feel that it can benefit my readers, I don’t accept the offer to write the review. I’ve been keeping count (what can I say - it’s something else I get to write down) -and I turn away three times more offers than I accept. So the rare ones I do, you know I mean them!

I am SO sorry but something has happened to the last 20 or so comments. I approved some really great comments, then went to respond to them in the posts and they were completely gone.

AUGHH! One. Of. Those. Weeks.

I appreciate those of you who commented greatly - I hate that they were lost. I’m not sure if it’s a plugin malfunction or what but I’m changing my spam plugin just in case. I hope you’ll try to comment again - I’ll make certain they don’t disappear into the great cyber beyond this time.

There are certain things we do every single day without even thinking about what we’re doing, aren’t there?  If you spend as much time online as I do, using a search engine probably ranks up there pretty high.

Now those of us with a Save the World complex can even incorporate that attitude into our searching.

There’s now a very easy and even fun way to raise money for your favorite cause. Start using GoodSearch.com as your search engine and online shopping mall. Every time you search the Internet or make an online purchase at one of their partner merchants, GoodSearch makes a donation to your favorite nonprofit or school and it’s powered by Yahoo! so you get great search results!

Is that amazing or what?!

The next time you throw yourself, mouth first, into a chocolate cake, throw guilt out the back door along with your reservations. You won’t just be satisfying your chocolate cravings, you’ll be getting your antioxidants.

Quick little science lesson. We should all be majorly concerned about getting more antioxidants. Why? Because of the demons, called free radicals, that attack our cells. These molecules which contribute to disease and degeneration, are constantly being generated. Constantly.

Experts tell us that we can fight the team of destructive free radicals by choosing foods that are high on the oxygen radical absorbance capacity (ORAC) scale.

A recent report from the USDA Nutrient Data Laboratory detailed the ORAC values of various foods - a few that we knew were heavy hitters and one we may have been taking for granted.

According to the the report, raw broccoli was shown to have an ORAC score of 1,362. Very respectable, right? Then again, we knew broccoli would have a good showing. However, they were topped by blueberries, with a score of 6,552!

But even blueberries didn’t reign supreme. Cocoa powder outdistanced the rest of the field with an ORAC score of 80,933!

Nutritionists point out that we should choose cocoa that’s organic rather than the non-alkalinized variety. Also, be warned that “Dutched” cocoa has been treated with potassium carbonate, which cuts the antioxidant capacity in half.

Get creative and find delicous, chocalate-y ways to sneak more cocoa into your diet. When I’m feeling fancy, I dollop a little whipped cream on top of my coffee (or hot chocolate) and sprinkle some cocoa on top. It’s also pretty irresistible on top of ice cream and pudding. One of my daughters (Brittany) sprinkles cocoa on her oatmeal, but she also puts steak sauce on her macaroni, so I take what she does in the kitchen with a grain of cautious salt.

I can’t say that I’m that familiar with smoothies (I desperately need a new blender), but I’ve read a lot about using cocoa in berry smoothies. Sounds great, but I think I’ll stick with my coffee for now.

The Organic Cocoa shown above can be found very reasonably priced on AMAZON.com, or you can use NOW’s Store Finder for a location nearest you. 

I spend a great deal of time on my Mental Health Blog extolling the virtues of mental fitness and the importance of doing everything we can to stay mentally sharp. If we want our brains to treat us well, we have to treat them well. The best way to do that is to challenge our brains every possible chance we get.

Did you know that something as simple as brushing your teeth with the other hand (the one you don’t normally use) stimulates your brain? It also gets a charge out of a new route across town or when we change up daily routines . When we do little things like these, our brain’s like a cat with catnip, a dog with a rawhide bone, or the person on the other side of these words with peanut butter fudge. 

The brain also loves to wrap itself around games such as the one linked below.  I’ve played a lot of brain games online and this one’s currently my favorite.  It’s just one of the many great games from Fit Brain.com.  It’d be a brilliant idea to start working them into your daily routine.  A word of advice, though, you might want to give yourself a deadline.  I just spent an hour playing a word game that felt, for all the world, like 10 minutes.  Truth be told, I’d probably still be there if the game hadn’t crossed me.  Since when is zen NOT a word?!

Remember, your brain enjoys the benefits whether you get the answers right or wrong.  Have fun!

Wild Word Garden - Brain Fitness Game

From my youngest daughter, Stephany, I’ve learned that you never know what you can do until you try - and if you try hard enough, you might just knock your own socks off!

I can see some of myself in each of my daughters, but when it comes to Steph - it can often be eerie. We’re both ridiculously laid back, sometimes to a fault. We love jewelry, clothes, fashion shows, shopping, and going to the movies. We hate racism, snakes, rules, yelling, and saving money.

She has a fearlessness about trying new things, however, that I only wish I possessed. She has an amazing amount of style and artistic talent, but if she lacked the fearlessness and boldness to strike out, they’d be wasted.

Sad to say, but I believe a lot of people’s talents are wasted.   When you think about it, that’s devastatingly depressing.  People, with God-given talent, skills, and abilities letting them rot inside because they lack the boldness to bring them outside. 

I’ve been just as bad as anyone, actually.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not sitting on a great number of talents -  but I know I’ve been guilty of not using the ones I do have nearly often enough.   Frankly, most of the time I lack boldness the way snails lack sex appeal.  I’m afraid I can’t lay claim to very much fearlessness, either.

Stephany’s talent comes through boldly in her graphic art (one of her most recent graphics is above) and web designs. She has never had a single course in graphic art and has never had a class in web design, yet her work is second to none, and I’m not just a proud mom.  She has designed and published official websites for 4 different celebrities, and one of her own unofficial celebrity websites is considered by most to be THE Best Fansite.   She’s launching her own graphic art/celebrity designs web site within the next two weeks and already has people lining up at the cyber door. 

She has a fearlessness about her that allows her to just soar in any direction she faces.  I totally respect and admire her bold attitude.  I’ve learned, from wathching Stephany, that sometimes you just have to stick your chin out and let ’er fly!  You can’t take time to worry about the what if’s or the but’s - you just have to believe in yourself and throw all doubt and fear out of the third floor window.

Boldness is a beautiful thing and Stephany, more than anyone I’ve ever known, serves up that lesson daily.

“The mind, ever the willing servant, will respond to boldness, for boldness, in effect, is a command to deliver mental resources” - Norman Vincent Peale

I remember the first time I ever laid eyes on my daughter Emily. With big, beautiful blue eyes, she was a little scene stealer that totally captivated me. I saw her a few minutes ago as she left for work. Some things? They just never change.

Like her father and sisters, Emily has taught me many things, but the one lesson she teaches most with her life is the importance of confidence.

I’ve seen Emily’s confidence in herself shake only twice in her life. Once, right before taking her ACT (she inherited her mother’s math skills…so, that was understandable) and once before taking her driving test (again, we’re going to lay this one at her mom’s lead feet). She breezed through the driver’s test and got an amazing score on her ACT.

When Em was just 7 years old, our church began putting together a huge Christmas play. There would be a little singing an A LOT of dialogue. The lead role (a girl) would have an unbelievable number of lines to memorize. That’s why, when the Pastor’s wife (who had taught Emily in Sunday School) approached her about the role, I thought, “Are you out of your pretty head, my baby’s only 7!” However when asked if she’d like to have the lead role, even though it called for a girl a few years older, my baby smiled and said, “Yes, Ma’am, I’d love to.”

When asked if she thought she could remember a lot of lines, she said, “No problem. I have a really good memory.”

What made it seem even bolder, to me, was the fact that since we homeschooled, Emily had never even been to a play, let alone been in one, let alone starred in one.

Later that night, when we were looking over the script for the play - as we thumbed through the pages, I knew exactly what she was doing along the way. She was counting her lines and getting more and more excited as the number rose.

My eyes were widening with a “What have you gotten yourself into?” look, while hers were widening with an “I. Am. The. Star.” gaze.

Whenever my confidence gets iffy or I start to doubt my abilities in any way, I think back to a little girl up on stage nailing not only every single one of her own lines, but helping people three times her size with theirs.

Emily is the sort of person who refuses to put limits on herself. She could be the spokesperson for the quote, “If you think you can, you’re right and if you think you can’t, you’re right again.” She has always had the ability to find a way or make a way, and it never ceases to amaze me. It also inspires me to do the same. While I’d never even attempt such a thing as a play (it’s not a lack of confidence so much as it is simply knowing myself, I’d get the giggles and ruin the whole thing) - I do try to believe more in myself and in my abilities. After all, if an individual doesn’t believe in themself, who will?!

After the play, I remember Emily’s younger sister (by 13 months) Brittany saying, “I didn’t know she could remember ALL those words.” She wasn’t the only one. I’m pretty sure there was only one person in the whole auditorium who was 110 percent sure each line would be flawless. And she was taking a curtain call.

The Poster above reads: Can’t - Eliminate this word! Stop thinking of things you can’t do and start thinking you can. It’s important to eliminate negatives from your vocabulary, especially the word can’t. When you begin to think positively, you’ll find yourself attempting and succeeding at more things. Remember by eliminating the negatives you’ll let the positives come through.

“Eventually, there comes a point in every life where you can no longer ignore the enormous and expanding gap between the life you could be living and the life you’ve settled for…. Every day of your life that you’re not actively engaged in staying fit, eating well, and strengthening your body the gap grows.” - Stregnth for Life, by Shawn Phillips, page 10

To read my review of the next book you should read (Strength for Life, by Shawn Phillips), see Why You Should Read Strength for Life by Shawn Phillips This Week.

This isn’t a book you’ll read, shelf, and then forget - it’s a proven system that’ll help you bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.

From My Husband, I’ve Learned That You Have to Fight For What You Want, No One’s Going to Do It For You

My husband, Michael, had more hardships before he even knew what the word meant than some people have in their whole lifetime. Without going into specifics, he was a very premature baby at a time when their survival wasn’t likely, his father died in a car wreck when he was a baby, and he was raised by a single, unemployed grandmother. This grandmother, who he knew as “Mama” got by on sheer grit - and we all miss her to this day.

He has told me several stories about fights he had in school and I suppose it makes perfect sense. He was born into a fight (for survival), so fighting has been a way of life for him.

Fortunately for the other males in his small town of Kentucky, it didn’t take long before he channeled this fighting spirit in a direction that led to more than fat lips on smart mouths.

He “fought” for his education. He was one of those real life cases of someone having to walk to school both ways. He could have skipped more than he went, but he respected his “mama” and education too much to cheat them, or himself.

He “fought” for his country - serving proudly in the Army as well as the Air Force.

Most of all, he has “fought” for his family. After September 11, the business Michael was in (like a lot of businesses) went to hell in a sack. We lost our dream home (it was so beautiful!) but we didn’t lose our, even more beautiful, dreams.

During a span of about 3 years - losing our home was actually the kindest favor life threw our way. Michael’s mom died, his sister was killed in a sudden accident, and my mom suffered a heart attack and began, health-wise, to go down rapidly. She was just 60 years of age, at the time, so that was all a great shock.

We all felt like the wind had been knocked out of us, and, frankly, I wanted to stay down on the mat for a while. But “Rocky” jumped back up and pulled me up along with him. My mindset was, “Are you crazy - if we get up, we might get hit again!” But his mindset was, “Are you crazy, you can’t hit back if you’re on the mat!”

We got up. Correction - I got up. He never succumbed to the mat. Sure, he may have taken a knee, but he stayed up.

We’re very different - Michael and I. You see, I am the stereotypical only child - I was spoiled rotten by the time I met Michael. To me, a fight was something Sugar Ray Leonard did in the ring. I never really had to fight for anything - thanks to my mom, dad, aunts, and uncles everything was always given to me.

When I got into the real world (you know the one…where mom doesn’t do your laundry and dad doesn’t have sausage and biscuits made for you first thing in the morning) - it could have eaten me alive. It tried a few times, but Michael taught me - with his words, but mostly from watching him - that you have to fight for what you want from life. No one else is going to do it for you.

Not only that, but he has also taught me that you should never settle for anything. I learned, long ago, never to tell him that something was “good enough” or that it was “okay.” Those aren’t just words to him, they’re challenges.

Career-wise, Michael went on to become the absolute best in his field.  He, literally, has had people try to hire him all over the country.  That would have been “good enough” for most people.  But he has always wanted to make sure that, in the unlikely event that anything happened to him (I say unlikely because I don’t think the grim reaper would stand a shot) - the girls and I would have something of our own.  So we launched a web publishing business that is, in my estimation, quite successful.  In his?  It needs more work, of course!

He hasn’t given a fat lip to a wise guy (to my knowledge!) in over 20 years. But he has jack slapped every obstacle that was foolish enough to get in his way. He has never settled and he has tried his level best to make sure no one he loves ever settles, either.

I know, for a fact, that I’ve accomplished more and have gotten more out of myself because of the things I’ve learned from him.

Fighters never quit and quitters never win.

From My Middle Daughter, Brittany, I’ve Learned That You Have to Be True to Yourself……

My daughter Brittany has more artistic talent in her eyebrow than most people have in their whole body. She’s very bright, imaginative, and creative. This creative streak has always caused her to march to a different drummer - one often unheard by the rest of the world! Since I’ve always had my own personal band, I understand, perfectly, where she’s coming from. I may not always applaud her decisions, but I always applaud the bravado with which she makes them.

When she was 12, she up and decided that she’d no longer eat anything that “once had a face on it.” She made this declaration one night as I was fixing supper. As we talked about protein and its other sources, I made two pans of spaghetti sauce that - one with meat and one without. Deep down, I knew her mind was made up and that she would probably stick with this forever. She has.

This was right before Hollywood made vegetarianism a “cool” thing to do, long before it was so PC. She got a lot of ribbing from family members, and more than a few arguments. When we’d go out to eat and would have to take into consideration her eating restrictions, she’d feel uneasy (especially if it went against what one of her sisters wanted - she’d feel the glares along with the uneasiness), but she never caved in.

It wasn’t the popular thing to do, but it was her call to make. Well-meaning family members and acquaintances told us that, if they were me, they’d make her eat meat. Britt’s response, “I’m glad you’re not her!”

She also went through an unusual phase when she was around 15. She fell in love with wearing black and it became practically the only color she’d wear. It wasn’t any sort of a statement - the kid just preferred the way she looked in black. Drove her dad nuts! Here was this beautiful girl and all she’d wear were loose black t-shirts and black shorts or pants. During this time she also decided that THE way…the only way… to wear one’s hair was peeled back in a ponytail, without so much as a hair free. So her long, gorgeus, thick, naturally wavy dark hair was gelled and pulled daily.

Her grandmother would buy her colorful clothes, but they’d just hang in the closet, watching the black clothes have all the fun.

Thankfully, this passed about as quickly as it came. Since then, she has worn every color of the rainbow - often at the same time! Thankfully the hair is allowed more freedom as well.

From watching a very young girl have a strong enough willpower and a sense of herself to stand up and make what were unpopular choices, I learned that you don’t have to fit in or follow the crowd. Everyone doesn’t HAVE to like everything that you do. It takes courage to be true to be yourself and “find your own way.” It’d be much easier to just follow along the way someone else chooses for you - but, isn’t that “their way?” Finding “your own way” means finding it yourself.

Sure, you’ll make wrong turns along the way, but you’ll navigate through the detours and grow stronger as a result.

I’m what my mom always called a “people pleaser.” I honestly get ill if I think I’ve done something that someone else doesn’t like or approve of. I’ve been that way since I can remember. Brittany has taught me that you absolutely, positively cannot please everyone - not even those closest to you. You’re going to do things that make them think you’ve gone around the bend and you’re going to do things that cause others to whisper about you behind your back.

I’ve learned, from watching Brittany, that you can treat these whispers as your own personal background music - it harmonizes sweetly with the drum you’re marching to.

Originality is something to be worn with an exclamation, not an explanation.

This post is the second in a series of “What I’ve Learned…” posts.