September 2008

I just went through an eye-opening slideshow on AOL Money & Finance. It’s a compilation of ways we waste money. I lost track of the times I said, “ouch” (they got me with paper towels, disposable cleaning supplies, convenience store drinks, underwear… I’m not budging on this one, designer skin care, brand names, and driving a gas guzzler).

It’s really pretty cool - you’ll want to check it out. But I’m pretty sure the one about designer handbags was a little inside joke. They’re funny that way.

Here’s the Link: Top Ways to Waste Money (42 plus one LOL)

I just finished reading Does Your Bag Have Holes? 24 Truths That Lead to Financial and Spiritual Freedom by Cameron C. Taylor. To be more precise, I just finished reading it through the second time. Every now and then I come across a book that has so much information and, well, greatness on each page, that I know once through isn’t going to be enough.

Books like this one remind me of really great movies (like Iron Man!) - the kind you watch as many times as possible, and somehow notice something different each time.

“Everyone is responsible for his or her own actions. The story of your life is not written by what happens to you but by what you choose to make happen.” - Cameron C. Taylor, Does Your Bag Have Holes? 24 Truths That Lead to Financial and Spiritual Freedom

Does Your Bag Have Holes? 24 Truths That Lead to Financial and Spiritual Freedom is, as the back cover says, “The First Book Of Its Kind.”

From the Back Cover of Does Your Bag Have Holes?:

This book pulls together the principles of Christianity, personal finance, and success into one amazing resource. Cameron’s unique style of writing is entertaining, yet powerful and to the point. As you live the truths in this book, you will experience the joy of financial and spiritual freedom.

The wonderful thing I noticed about this book (on each trip!) was that the information, the parables, the stories, the quotes, the graphs, the pictures.. Okay, everything… doesn’t just provide the reader with a first class lesson in finances. It provides you with a first class lesson in life.

I came across SO many different stories (with illustrations) that I wanted to scan/type in and send to the people on my e-mail list. They’re that AMAZING. Then I realized, after I lost count of the number of stories, that it would be much wiser to simply shoot out one widespread e-mail recommending this book and everything in it.

That’s when I knew I’d also be recommending it to my Self Help Daily friends as well.

What Makes Does Your Bag Have Holes A Perfect Book?

• The information is information that you will not find anywhere else.  How’s that for starters?!  Many books (and, come on, let’s be honest, I read so much I’d know) sort of recycle information. They say what’s been said a different way.  What Cameron C. Taylor gives his readers in Does Your Bag Have Holes is unique.  It is the information that will be recycled in upcoming books.  But you know and I know the original’s almost always better.
• Does Your Bag Have Holes? 24 Truths That Lead to Financial and Spiritual Freedom includes Abridged Audio Book. I’ve said before how much I LOVE audio books.  A pure genius, somewhere, discovered a way for us book addicts to keep our nose in books even when our nose has to be elsewhere.  A billion thanks, genius.   I love books that come with audio.  Not only is is incredibly appreciated from a reader’s standpoint (after all, it helps those of us who are too busy for our own good to multitask and make better use of the 24 hours we’re given), it also shows that the author and the publisher think so  much of the material that they want their audience to get it every which way possible!  That’s confidence in what they have AND consideration for those who purchase it.
• Cameron C. Taylor is a wonderful author.  I love to see someone doing what they were meant to do.  There’s a certain beauty about it.  Whether it’s Faith Hill singing, Frank Sinatra dancing, or Serena Williams playing tennis - there’s something awe-inspiring when someone has found what they were meant to do and they carry it out as beautifully as nature knew they would.  Cameron C. Taylor was meant to write.  And he does so beautifully.  He writes with humor, insight, and profound wisdom.  He understands the teachings set forth in the Bible and wants to share them with as many people as possible.
• This book will affect every aspect of your life.  Yes, it’s geared toward the financial aspects, and it most certainly will have a profound effect on your finances - but the author will touch more than just your money.  He’ll touch the hand that holds the money, and the heart that holds the hand.
• Can you say TIMELY?!?!  If we ever needed a book about financial truths, it’s NOW.  Is there any way we can force our nation’s leaders and would-be-leaders to read this book?  Probably not, but we can certainly help ourselves and our families by reading it ourselves.  Maybe twice. 

“The person that is good at making excuses is rarely good at much else.” - Cameron C. Taylor, Does Your Bag Have Holes?

Reviews for Does Your Bag Have Holes: 24 Truths That Lead to Financial and Spiritual Freedom:

• “Every person in the world should be taught these 24 powerful truths.  Whether you’re a student, a teacher, or a parent, you need to learn these truths.  It would change the world.” - Robert G. Allen, author of the NY Times #1 bestsellers Nothing Down and Creating Wealth
• “Success, happiness, and spiritual and financial freedom are not complicated.  After reading Cameron Taylor’s book, you will understand why I feel this way.” - Lou Holtz, National Champion and Infamous Head Football Coach for Notre Dame Football 1985-1996
• “Inspiring lessons of truth and wisdom beautifully applied to today’s world.” - Sean Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens
• “This is a warm, wonderful book full of timeless truths you can apply to every area of your life.” - Brian Tracy, author of The Way to Wealth
• “I found the book insightful and a very balanced look at the principles of financial prosperity.  I love the emphasis upon seeking first the Kingdom of God.  I really think the illustrations are excellent.” - Nate Fuchs, Minister (I love the illustrations too!)
• “The personal application of these 24 timeless truths will enable you to achieve breakthrough financial and spiritual results in your life.” - Henry Marsh, 4-time Olympic runner and author of The Breakthrough Factor
• “This book can help anyone replace damaging myths with Biblical truths that will set them on the right course for not confusing the pursuit of money with true success.” - Rich DeVos, Billionaire, owner of the Orlando Magic, and co-Founder of Amway 
• “Wise, universal truths beautifully permeate this book - a true illustration of the law of the harvest.” - Stephen R. Covey, author of “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and “The 8th Habit:  From Effectiveness to Greatness”

I have multiple shelves of books throughout our house.  Some books, after I’ve read them, will be passed on.  Others, the ones I want my family to read or that I’m certain I’ll re-read, go on approrpriate shelves.  Books that I will be returning to again and again either go on my office desk or a special antique shelf in our home office (my great-great-grandfather built it).  The ones on the desk are the ones that I plan to return to the most often, and that’s where Does Your Bag Have Holes? 24 Truths That Lead to Financial and Spiritual Freedom can be found.

A few days ago, I wrote a post “The Last 6 Books I Recommended to My Own Family.” Needless to say, this book is now amongst them. When anyone in my family is ready to read this amazing book, they’ll be able to find it on my desk.

Or in my hands.

First up, you’ll want to click HERE to read about the latest food scare.

It’s getting ridiculous. It has gotten ridiculous. I suppose it’s a gross understatement, but there really should be more accountability - in every nook and crannie of life.

Speaking of ridiculous, have you seen the recent issue of Star magazine? One of their favorite cover girls, little Suri Cruise, is on the cover with one of her dolls. The caption says, “Inside Suri’s Loney Life…” Lonely?! Her parents absolutely dote on her - you can tell that she’s their whole world. But that’s not, for me anyway, the issue. My problem is the fact that they (and to be fair, just about all of the mags) keep putting this little girl on the cover of their magazines. It seems to me that photographers are following celebrity’s kids more than they’re following the actual celebs anymore.

When will something be done? God willing it’ll be BEFORE one of these beautiful, innocent little children are physically harmed. To say nothing of the emotional scars all of this attention and speculation can cause. There has to be some sort of a stalking law that can give these kids some breathing room. Before. It’s. Too. Late.

Quite frankly, I’m not sure we can leave it up to the media. After all, they only take pictures that sell and the pictures that sell are the ones that make the magazines fly off the shelves. I’m way out there with a lot of things - I completely admit that. When I believe in something (or if I’m totally against it), I go as far as far will take me. But I will not buy a magazine if children are exposed on the cover like these with Suri - especially if the child is all by themselves. If more people would avoid this sort of magazine, the editors would stop allowing these covers.

You could make a case that they’re only giving their audience what their audience want to see. I wonder how this audience would feel if it were their own children who were being stalked and exploited.

The final example of ridiculousness (sadly, not the final word on ridiculousness - I’m just at the end of my ability to look at any more), involves the treatment of Sarah Palin. She’s under the microscope like few people have ever been. People have, literally, even photoshopped pictures of her, putting her in situations where she wasn’t, making her wear things she never had on, etc. Weirdness is reigning supreme along with ridiculousness.

I’m not being overly protective of her or defensive because, I just don’t think the way she’s being treated in the media is fair.

When it first became apparent that Barack Obama and John McCain would be the Presidential candidates, I was completely torn. I still have nothing but respect for both of these men. One IS and has been an American hero for a long time while the other is fast becoming one, himself.

I always knew it would come down to how they handled themselves in the campaign and who they chose as their running mates. The last one was the deal maker/deal breaker for me. Anyone who knows me AT ALL - or even just takes a look around this website! - would easily guess the problems I have with Mrs. Palin.

My political views and opinions have usually been all over the place. I’ve never been loyal to one party, but most of the politicians I’ve supported in the past happened to be Republican. Ronald Reagan is one of the first people (non-family, of course) I want to see when I get to Heaven. He was the reason I ever became interested in politics at all. He had a way about him, didn’t he?

I also want to say again that I have endless respect for John McCain. I tend to respect heroic, patriotic, and brave men. He’s all of the above and then some. I’ll just be 100 percent honest with you, as I am always. Personally, I just don’t think his running mate should hold a position that puts her one heartbeat away from running our country.

Having said that, she doesn’t deserve the lack of respect that’s being shown toward her or her family. She’s a human being who should be treated with respect, whether or not we agree with her opinions, her political views, her love of hunting, or whatever. She’s someone’s wife, daughter, and mother. How can anyone claim to have class while lashing out at individuals with the vile anger and hatred they’re unleashing on her? Not cool. At all.

By all means, support your favorite candidate and fight for them tooth and nail. But let’s all fight fair. We’re ultimately on the same side, after all. Look closely at the issues and listen closely to what each of the four individuals has to say. Don’t listen to what others say they say - heresay’s never 100 percent accurate.

What I love about this election year is the fact that everyone has such strong convictions and opinions. I love that there are people standing side-by-side who disagree on the issues and candidates, but respect the other’s opinions. I love that more people are paying attention to politics than ever before. I love that my youngest daughter and her boyfriend sat watching the televised debate last night. I love that he came into the kitchen to tell me about some of the exchanges!

I love the diversity. I love that children - whether they’re boys, girls, black or white - all over the country can see themselves as President of the United States one day.

I also love that people feel free enough to give their views, in their own families, online, in the store, in the media, etc. In fact, in my own family, we’re actually divided on our opinions. If the election were today, five votes would be cast in our household but they wouldn’t be for the same candidate. Two would be, I’m certain, for Mr. Obama, while I’m equally certain two would be for Mr. McCain. The last vote? It’s either up in the air or the person’s keeping it under wraps!

I’m honestly very proud that my own children are independent thinkers and are following the issues so closely. I would be completely and totally ashamed of myself if I’d raised girls incapable of thinking for themselves. They don’t try to act like little mirrors, reflecting what they’re parents do or say. They make their own reflections and I respect and even admire that.

Except during NFL season, of course. The fact that I didn’t raise one Denver Bronco’s fan troubles me. I mean, not only that - but the oldest is a Packer’s fan, the youngest is a Patriot’s fan, and the diva in the middle is (shhhhh) is a Cowboy’s fan. The husband is a long-suffering Jet’s fan.

At least my cats like the Bronco’s. They know who feeds them.

The October 2008 issue of Success Magazine has a mini-article titled “Healthy, Wealthy, & Wise - Your Checklist.” The reader is given 6 small but powerful goals that’ll lead us down a path to better health, more wealth, and increased wisdom. Sign me up for all three.

The first tip is “Add a small fitness goal to your routine each week.” The author suggests drinking one extra glass of water each day, running for one more mile a week, or taking the stairs instead of the elevator. I think I can swing the extra glass of water each day. But run? Only if I’m giving chase or being chased. As for the stairs, I’m all over that one. I don’t love elevators, so stairs are fine by me.

My favorite tip of the 6 is this one: “Don’t use people as mirrors.” The reader is told to have a strong sense of who he/she is without letting other people influence how they feel. This can be a hard one, can’t it?

Some of us are more inclined than others to care too much about what others think of us. A lot of times, our own opinion of ourselves is heightened or lessened by other’s words. We can be feeling pretty pleased with ourselves or with a particular accomplishment until someone criticizes us. Then we basically bottom out.

As the article points out, we should try very hard to keep a healthy sense of self, without allowing others to affect it. After all, there are some people who can only make themselves feel bigger by making others feel smaller. After years of practice, they’ve perfected the art.

The advice is positively golden - and the more I think about it, the more golden it is.

All 6 of the tips are golden. I’ve given away two of them, if you want the other 4, grab the issue! The issue’s packed with great stuff - including the last page: “Turning Knowledge into Power, 10 Actions You Can Take Right Now.”

I was doing a little autumn cleaning today - clearing shelves, rearranging our book collections, dusting, etc. I lingered longer with the books that are “older” because they never cease to touch me on some level.

I did more than just linger when I came across one of my favorites, Words to Live By (Copyright 1947-1957). This golden oldie is a collection of writings by some of the wisest men and women of the time. This afternoon, I sat down with it and a cup of coffee and re-read some of the articles.

I thought you’d get a lot out of this particular article, so I’m going to type it in for you. Enjoy!

Failure Isn’t Fatal

by The Reverend James Keller, M.M.
Author of “You Can Change the World”

Too often, it seems to me, people lose their courage in facing life because of past failures or fear that they may fail in the future.

One good way to cure such fears is to remember the story of a man who actually built a lifetime of accomplishments out of defeats. The following litany of failures that punctuated his life throughout thirty years is a living and eloquent example of the successful use of defeat in achieving victory.

Abraham Lincoln’s record is as follows:

• Lost job 1832
• Defeated for legislature 1832
• Failed in business 1833
• Elected to legislature 1834
• Sweetheart died 1835
• Had nervous breakdown 1836
• Defeated for speaker 1838
• Defeated for nomination for Congress 1843
• Elected to Congress 1846
• Lost renomination 1848
• Rejected for land officer 1849
• Defeated for Senate 1854
• Defeated for nomination for Vice-President 1856
• Again defeated for Senate 1858
• Elected President 1860

Lincoln’s deep conviction that God had given him a mission to fulfill accounted in no small way for his deep humility and ability to push on in the face of difficulties and failures that would have discouraged most people.

His abiding faith was well summed up in this comment which he made after becoming President:  “God selects His own instruments, and sometimes they are queer ones; for instance, He chose me to steer the ship through a great crisis.”

You, too, in God’s providence can be an instrument in bringing His love, truth and peace to a world in urgent need of it.

And with Abraham Lincoln, you too can learn to say, “With God’s help I shall not fail.”

Never despair. But if you do, work on in despair. - Edmund Burke

I was just responding to a comment left on one of my posts when an idea for this post struck me.  My husband and three daughters (Emily, Brittany, and Stephany) are very busy people.  They come and go at all times - most of our cats gave up, long ago, trying to keep up with them.  One, Alexa, is fighting the good fight and still stays on top of watching the revolving kitchen door.

For some peculiar reason, when one of them or one of their boyfriends (we’ll exclude my husband on that one) come through the door, Alexa will find me to “tell” me that she/he is here.  She knows that’s when I like to go meet them and see what they’d like - be it coffee, tea, hot chocolate, food, or an ear.

Needless to say, they don’t have as much time to get lost in a great book as I do.   Ahhhh, the sweet perks of working from one’s home.  I read all the time - as I’ve said before, I usually have at least 3 books going at once.  If I recommended EVERY single book I like to them, they’d think I was completely off my nut. 

I’m still trying to keep that fact a secret from them, so I only recommend only the books that I KNOW will touch their lives and make them and their future brighter and better.  The following are the last 5 books that I recommended to my much beloved family.  I’d like to recommend them to you, because I heart you a great deal, too!

1. The Bible.  Obvious, much?   I’ve always loved the Bible and reading it has been a constant in my daily life for too many years to even count.  Every single one of life’s problems can be found in the books of the Bible and I’m convinced that the first step in living a better life begins with being a faithful Bible reader.  After losing my mom, far sooner than I should have, in 2006, I found a great deal of comfort by turning to Psalms.  The beauty of the words brought more calmness into my heart than it thought possible.
2. Just Who Will You Be? by Maria Shriver - Click HERE for my review of this remarkable little book.  Each one of my family members has read this book and commented on how much they loved it.  It’s a very fast read, and I think each one of them read it in one sitting.
3. How to Think Like a Millionaire - Read my review of this exceptional book HERE.
4. One Can Make a Difference: Original stories by the Dali Lama, Paul McCartney, Willie Nelson, Dennis Kucinch, Russel Simmons, Bridgitte Bardot, Martina … Dozens of Other Extraordinary Individuals - How’s that for a title??  This is another wonderful book that’s also easy and fast to read.  It’s actually compiled of a series of amazing essays, so they can be read in a one essay a day fashion.  I would actually advise you to read them that way, because each essay stands on its own as a powerhouse of motivation and inspiration.  The book is so amazing that you’ll want to devour them all at once.  I have to confess, that’s the way I did it.  But I’m going back now and reading them one essay at a time - really allowing each one to “set in” before moving to the next.  This is a profound and powerful book that will change you forever.  The truly beautiful thing?  If enough of us are changed, we can change the world!
5. Little Gold Book of YES! Attitude: How to Find, Build and Keep a YES! Attitude for a Lifetime of SUCCESS - A wonderfully fun, yet highly motivational little book. It, too, will change your life for the better - by changing the way you “look at” things. It’s a make-over for your attitude, which is pretty essential because your attitude touches every single inch of your life.
6. Strength for Life: The Fitness Plan for the Rest of Your Life - My family’s health is even more important to me than my own, so I recommended this great all-in-one book to them. The author, Shawn Phillips, has as much knowledge about nutriton and fitness as any author I’ve ever read. He lays it all out for the readers in an easy-to-read and easy-to-live style that puts better health within arm’s reach.

For my daughters, I also recommended a fictional book by Kate Jacobs: Comfort Food. She’s the talented, engaging author who also wrote “The Friday Night Knitting Club.” I love her style! Comfort Food is about a lovable host for a television show on the Cooking Channel. The main character, Gus is a fifty year old mother who has had this show for 12 years. The ratings are dipping, so the producers add a diva-like co-host, Carmen. Carmen loves nothing more than Carmen, so you can imagine how well that goes over.

Carmen decides to use her show as an on-air cooking class that brings together her fighting daughters Sabrina and Aimee.

Another great character, Oliver, provides the romance for the novel. He’s the new culinary producer who adds spice to Gus’ life. Sorry, I couldn’t resist the spice comment. I tried - but, in the end, I had to go with it.

Wow, this is all kinds of cool! I’ll just say, right up front, that I have a couple of phobias - heights, deep water, and snakes. If you were to put me on a bridge with a snake, I’d try to choke myself before the other evils got to me.

I’ve always been very annoyed by my unfounded fears. I say unfounded because, frankly, I’ve never drowned, fallen from anything higher than a bicycle, or met a snake that meant me any harm. The few I’ve encountered seemed more interested in escaping the screaming wild woman than anything else.

Fears are like that. Unreasonable, annoying, irritating, and frustrating. They can hold us back from doing the things we want to do. If we let them, they take a lot of our life away from us and defeat us in a way we hadn’t expected.

GoGetter JetSetter is just what we need to put all of the power back on our side. WITHOUT medication, deep breathing, “talk therapy,” or any of the methods you may have heard about and dismissed.

From their Website:

According to Modern Psychology the technique I teach “may be the most powerful vehicle for change in existence”, and as a former sufferer I know it’s the most powerful because it cured me of Aerophobia (fear of flying) and my fear of heights - I now live on the 28th floor right across from the airport!

It is a completely natural approach to eliminating 100% of flying anxiety within 18 minutes. This may seem very hard to believe for someone who may have had this condition for some time, but believe me the new information is now available to free you from fear of flying - especially if it’s severe.

You may be amazed at how such a simple technique known as “The Fast Phobia Cure” could be so powerful in eliminating a fear of flying, and allows you to fly calmly while feeling in-control.

This little known technique was developed by Dr. John Grinder and Richard Bandler, and I refined this technique specifically to cure a fear of flying, so chances are you will not have come across anything like it before.

I just finished reading one of the most fascinating pages I’ve ever read online - it’s their “About Us” page, but it’s sort of like a little course in phobias. I learned a lot before I even got halfway down the page! It’s good to know that our phobias CAN be relatively easily destroyed. I would love to throw mine off of the highest bridge I could find. Er, once I’m able to stand on it, myself.

GoGetter JetSetter just may be the thing we need to fly high. Sounds like fun to me!

Check out their website and read every inch of their About Us page, it’s truly fascinating.

* The above is a sponsored post, which means I am paid to take a look at a website, program, service, or product and tell what I think about it. Whether I like it, love it, hate it, or want to wrap my arms around it and call it mine is entirely up to me.

“A red rose is not selfish because it wants to be a red rose. It would be horribly selfish if it wanted all the other flowers in the garden to be both red and roses.” - Oscar Wilde

One of my greatest pet peeves is selfishness - in any form. If God, Himself, hadn’t labeled the love of money as the root of all evil, I’d give selfishness the honor. As it is, I have no intention of second-guessing God. I’m a lot of things, but incredibly stupid isn’t one of them.

Not long ago, I was talking to my lovely daughters about relationships. I told them that a great deal of arguments could be avoided simply by thinking less about self and more about the other person. That’s not always possible, of course, and as a mother of three girls, I most certainly preach and teach the importance of standing up for yourself. I was (and am) talking about the little, petty disagreements that act like little pins and needles in any relationship.

Things like:

• “Remember when you said such-and-such…“  Basically, when you keep pointing out a past “wound,” you show that you want them to pay again and again and again for a mistake they made, sometimes years ago.  It’s a common, but selfish and unforgiving, mistake.  It actually hurts the person who keeps digging in the past even more than it does the other person. 
• “I gave you three things for your birthday and you only gave me two…“  Graciousness and unselfishness don’t keep score or run a tab.
• “You’re going golfing?  What am I supposed to do?!“  I hate when one person seems to grieve over what someone else is doing.  Hate it!  When you love someone, shouldn’t you want more than anything for them to enjoy life?  Again, turning off the “ME” switch and switching on the “OTHERS” one will make everyone a lot happier. 
• “I don’t want you to dress that way (wear your hair that way, talk that way, drive that car…..)“  The quote at the top by Oscar Wilde sums this one up beautifully.  Why are some people so incredibly full of themselves that they think everyone should look, act, talk, and dress just like they do?!  Just as a garden would be less interesting if every flower were the same height, color, and shape, the world would be far less interesting if everyone looked and dressed the same.  Those of us who delight ourselves in “people watching” would probably break down and cry! 

I heard a DJ on the radio tonight talking about a friend he’d recently “lost.”  I thought he was going to say the friend had died at worst or moved away at best.  I was shocked when he said that it was because they had a difference of opinions concerning the upcoming election.  He said that he was okay with their difference of opinion, but his friend was not.  Silly DJ, selfish people don’t allow others to have opinions! 

No one wears selfishness well, but selflessness looks beautiful on anyone.

In a superficial society, we often neglect the most important thing we possess: Our personality. This is what makes us who we are. It dictates who wants to be around us and who avoids us like a Biblical plague. Two years after we’ve left this world for the one beyond, our personality (for better or worse) will be the thing we’ll be remembered for most - not our waistline or our hairline. Not EVEN our clothes, or (YIKES!) perfume and jewelry.

When it comes to personalities, I believe the following statements to be 100 percent true:

1. They can make a person MORE attractive or LESS attractive.
2. They can help an individual get AHEAD in their career or HOLD them back.
3. They’re each built upon one of two foundations:  A SELFISH foundation or a SELFLESS foundation.
4. People can change.

Pretty is as Pretty Does

For obvious reasons I won’t name names, but one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever known was (at first glance) not much beyond cute or somewhat attractive.  Yet, after just 10 minutes in her presence, you were convinced that she was, possibly, one of the most beautiful people on the planet.  She was extremely sweet, soft-spoken, kind, neat, feminine, witty, and was a very good mother to her beautiful children.  She was also very fond of laughing and kept one on standby at all times. Mostly she had the one trait that I am drawn to more than any other - she loved life and squeezed all she could out of each second.  She had a vivacious personality that served as a killer running mate for her physical features. Ooooooh, don’t get me started on running mates, not just yet, anyway!

 By contrast, we all know people who have been blessed with wonderful physical features, but possess personalities that serve as ugly masks - hiding the beauty that they should be enhancing.

You Can’t Make it to the Top if No One Likes You!

People who come across as arrogant, sarcastic, dull, disinterested, or constantly angry aren’t likely to advance in their career.

One of the things that makes my husband so good with his clients is the fact that he is honestly 100 percent interested in them. He turns his work phone off 10 minutes before going to bed and turns it on 1 minute after waking. He wants to be available to people who need him 24/7. Not only is he available to them, he is interested in them. He knows the names of each one’s family members, health issues each has, their favorite restaurants, their favorite sport’s teams, etc. He has laughed with them, cried with them, and fought for them.

People who do business with him always attribute his success to his intelligence, killer drive, and work ethic which is second to none. However, I’ve always said that it comes down to one thing - people like him. He’s funny, compassionate, outgoing, and as my mom always said, “A real character.”

Are You Selfish or Selfless?

Every single one of us is either more selfish than we are selfless or more selfless than we are selfish. I tend to believe that no one is TOTALLY either one - but everyone definitely has more of one trait than the other.

Very often, a rotten disposition comes from being self-centered. Think about people who have angry outbursts. They certainly aren’t thinking about other people - they’re only thinking about themselves. How they’re being “put upon” or how others aren’t doing enough for them. Me, me, me - it’s all about me!

Anger (including road rage) is just selfishness having a temper tantrum.

Sarcasm is just selfishness acting petty.

Mocking is just selfishness acting childish.

Benevolence, tolerance and kindness are selfless acts. They’re traits from people who honestly care about the needs and feelings of others. The person who slows down to allow someone to pass rather than gunning it to stay in front - they’re being selfless.

For those predisposed to selfishness, selflessness takes practice. But it can be achieved.

Be totally honest with yourself, do you think you are more concerned about yourself or others? During the day, do you concern yourself more with your own needs or those of others? When’s the last time you put yourself totally out for another person - without shining a spotlight on it?

Start today: Do as many kind acts for others as possible. Smile and speak to strangers. Put the grocery cart in the corral in the parking lot. (Pet peeve! I hate when people leave it out in the open and justify it by saying, “That’s what they get paid for.” I hate when selfishness tries to explain itself.)

People CAN Change

Change a habit and you change your life. If selfishness seems to dominate your personality, make it your #1 mission to change that right away. It can’t be something you think about today then forget tomorrow. You have to make a concentrated effort each and every day to care more about others than you do yourself.

Think about personality traits that you admire in others. Do they always seem happy or upbeat? Do they make you feel better when you’re around them? Do they look you in the eyes when they talk to you? Are they honest? Do they make you smile? Do they dwell on positive things rather than negative ones?

Identify personality traits you admire and are drawn to - then take inventory of your own personality traits. Are they a service to you or a disservice? Do they elevate you or demote you? Do they benefit your relationships or serve as a barrier between you and others?

If you don’t like the answers you’ve come up with, what are you going to do about it?

Hurricane Ike has caused more damage and loss than any of us want to think about. He even reached us here in Kentucky this weekend with high wind storms that have left many without power for days. The worst tragedies, of course, are those who have lost their lives. A woman in a town nearby lost her life when a tree limb fell on her. She was outside making her three children come inside. One of the children broke his arm, and I wish with all my heart that were the only casualty that day.

Ironically, another tragedy involved people trying to save a young life. A man and his son drowned as they tried to rescue a ten year old boy. Like so many heroes, they didn’t walk away from their finest hour.

The local news wanted to tell me more stories, but my heart couldn’t take it. Suffice to say, you won’t hear me complaining about the damage done to our trees, roof, or about the time we were without power. I pretty much welcome the problems we’re having with cell phones and an internet connection that crawls at a snail’s pace. I know we’re amongst the very, very lucky ones.

My heart goes out to everyone who has been affected by the nastiness of Ike. And I guess that’s pretty much all of us in one way or another. If today doesn’t call for an extra dose of comfort and encouragement, I (literally) don’t want to see the day that does.

We live by encouragement, and we die without it - slowly, sadly, angrily. - Celest Holme

Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll. - Author Unknown

You never know when a moment and a few sincere words can have an impact on a life. - Zig Ziglar

God is closest to those with broken hearts. - Jewish Saying

The heart is the only broken instrument that works. - T.E. Kalem

Sadness flies away on the wings of time. - Jean de La Fontaine

Sadness flies on the wings of the morning and out of the heart of darkness comes the light. - Jean Giraudoux

The more sympathy you give, the less you need. - Malcolm S. Forbes

To ease another’s heartache is to forget one’s own. - Abraham Lincoln

When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal. - Author Unknown