A Wild Saturday Night

I know you’ve heard the phrase never a dull moment - well now you get to meet the person whose life it was coined for.

Hello, how are you? Me? Oh, I chased, wrestled and rolled with a pit bull last night. My body hurts.  I had the first asthma attack I’d had in years. A few of my cats have post traumatic stress syndrome.  I wasn’t cut out for this sort of thing. I’m a cooking in the kitchen, hanging out at the coffee shop kind of gal - decidedly not a pit bull tamer.

The dog in question - (during the ruckus I named him “Damn Dog!”) - somehow found our very guiet, fence-enclosed cat and deaf dog sanctuary. Normally, it’s just the 5 of us humans, a small, almost totally deaf and nearsighted, older dog and five cats. Damn Dog! was particularly interested in the cats.

It’s puzzling how he even got back here. We live on the outskirts of town, behind a business that’s protected by a metal, password-protected gate. D.D! either knew the code or has discovered a LARGE hole in one of the fences. Or can fly.

We first saw him when a few of my girls and I got back from the store. Wednesday (our little dog) came out of the garage, par usual, to greet us. Then something par unusual happened - out came a large, muscular dog behind him. None of the cats were around at the time - and D.D. really didn’t seem interested in causing problems for Wednesday….until my smart little boy growled up at him. The pit bull wasn’t too happy about that. He was, however, happy about me - he wanted to be my bestest buddy. He kept standing up with his paws on my shoulders licking my face. Fortunately, of all the things I’m scared of, dogs aren’t one of them. He was a sweetheart to me and never posed a danger at all (to me).

But, like I said, we have 5 cats and a much smaller, disadvantaged dog, so my oldest daughter and I lured him away - on the other side of the mechanical gate. I took a package of hot dogs for him which he ate before we even got out of our driveway. Big ol’ mouth. I finally got him on one side of the gate and me on the other…which took some doing because he was convinced that he was my dog and I was his…I dunno….mom?

After a while, when I looked way up at the main gate, I didn’t see him - so I thought “Good, he went home.” I wanted more than anything for him to get somewhere safe - I felt for sure he was someone’s dog. He was the picture of health and wasn’t the least bit afraid of anything.  Or anyone.

So, later I’m out in the yard - putting Wednesday’s sweater back on him, fresh from being washed in Woolite. I saw our smallest cat, Alexa in the driveway and was walking toward her to oooh and ahhhh, tell her how cute she is…you know that sort of thing. Then, out of nowhere Damn Dog! comes flying at Alexa (this is where I name him) and like a scene from a nature show….or a nightmare….he chases her, snapping at her tail. Of course, I’m running, in sock feet, after them screaming his new name, which he refuses to answer to. I launch onto him and we go down, and Alexa takes flight up a tree. D.D! starts licking my face - it at least lets me know I’m still alive. By now, my asthma’s pretty angry and breathing isn’t coming easily. I put my arms around his neck and try to convince him to let me help him along - to my van. I figure I’ll drive to every house within a mile and ask if they’re missing a large, cat chasing bundle of strength.

Just as we’re edging along in the dark, with Alexa watching from on high - another of our youngest cats, Bo, comes creeping over to see what all the fuss is about. He sees D.D! at the same time D.D! sees….and wer’e off again. Once again, the dog is right on the home team’s butt….once again I dive onto Damn Dog’s butt and Bo propels himself up yet another tree. Thankfully, God’s a cat lover and we live in a yard with lots of trees.

By now, I’m totally amazed that this dog hasn’t eaten my face off yet. He just kept licking it - and doing the paws on the shoulder thing that really didn’t amuse me much anymore. Fortunately, my husband heard the yelling from inside the house and came out to help. We put him (the dog, not the husband) into the van and off we went to find his home.

Bo and Alexa are pretty jumpy today, and I can hardly move. The picture at the top of the post is Bo looking up at the tree that saved his life.  He’s nothing if not dramatic.  Wednesday doesn’t seem to know anything went on - he’s pretty much in his own little world. But I’ve given him strict orders, no more entertaining friends while were away.

Joi