Agree or Disagree

Jay Leno is best known for his wonderful sense of humor, his love of cars, and for his one-of-a-kind ability to make any interview interesting and funny.

An e-mail is making the rounds that shows a different side of him. Jay Leno wrote the following message that I think you’ll find interesting. It really doesn’t matter if you’re pro-Bush, anti-Bush, pro-McCain, anti-McCain, pro-Obama, anti-Obama, or haven’t really been moved by a politician since Reagan.

As most of you know I am not a President Bush fan, nor have I ever been, but this is not about Bush, it is about us, as Americans, and it seems to hit the mark. The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some Poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right?

The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the President.

In essence 2/3 of the citizenry just ain’t happy and want a change. So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, ‘What are we so unhappy about?”

A.. Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 Days a week?

B.. Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter?

C.. Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job?

D.. Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?

E.. Maybe it is the ability to drive our cars and trucks from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state?
F.. Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter?

G.. I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough either.

H.. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.

I.. Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home.

J.. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames, thus
saving you, your family, and your belongings.

K.. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes, an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your
family against attack or loss.

L.. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90% of teenagers own cell phones and computers.

M.. How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world?

Maybe that is what has 67% of you folks unhappy.

Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S. , yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The
most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don’t have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.

I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks? The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me?

Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn’t take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad? Think about it……are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the ‘Media’ told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every
day. Make no mistake about it.
The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn’t have to go. They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ”general” discharge, an ‘other than honorable” discharge or, worst case scenario, a ”dishonorable” discharge after a few days in the brig.

So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans?

Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling
lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells, and when criticized, try to defend their actions by ‘justifying’ them in one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like OJ. Simpson to write a book about how he didn’t kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this way……Insane!

Turn off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as country. There is exponentially more good than bad. We are among the most blessed people on Earth and should thank God several times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative.’ ‘With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, ‘Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of
Allegiance?’

So, what are YOUR feelings? Do you agree or disagree with Jay Leno’s sentiments?

In 1998, on a deserted road, 21 year old Matthew Shepard was beaten, tied to a fence, and left to die.  Tragically, 3 days later, that’s exactly what happened.

Was he guilty of a crime that vigilante justice insisted he atone for?  Had he cheated on or wronged someone for the last time?  Was someone settling a score?   What had this beloved son done to “deserve” to be tortured and murdered?

In a sentence?  Matthew Shepard was gay.   His young life was brutally ended for that reason alone.

I cannot even begin to imagine a more horrific or terrifying death.  The pain, the fear, the helplessness, and the suffering.   I also cannot even begin to imagine something else:  The HATE.  How can any human have so much hate inside of them that they would do this to another person?  How could anyone be so demonic and so unspeakably evil?

Unfortunately, Matthew Shepard wasn’t the first victim of a hate crime or the last.  No race, sex, denomination, or individual is safe from hate crimes.  Anyone could be targeted, actually, because we’re all different.  Christians, blacks, gays, latinos, Jews, native Americans… the list goes on and on.  History has proven that hate, when fed a continual diet of rage and intolerance will lead to unspeakable crimes.

Some people think nothing can be done about it, so why even try.   Fortunately, at least as many people know that love is greater than hate and that to not try is somewhat like contributing to the hate.

Just a few thoughts:

1. Examine your own heart.  Do you harbor hatred toward any group of people?  If so, ask yourself how comfortable you are being filled with something as ugly and poisonous as hatred.
2. Listen to your children.  Do they continually make fun of or condemn a certain type of person?  Ask yourself how comfortable you are with your children being full of such hatred.  One of the saddest things in the world is when parents raise their children to hate just as they hate.  WHY WANT YOUR CHILDREN TO HATE INSTEAD OF LOVE?
3. Realize that we are all different.  It may be a shock to one’s system, but we are all hated by someone.  Whether it’s for our race, our religion, or our sex - we are all the object of someone else’s hatred and intolerance. 

After you take a good look inward, make the necessary changes outward.  Hate destroys all of those it touches - those who harbor it every bit as much as those they harbor it towards.

Granted, we all have different views and different beliefs.  There’s nothing wrong with that. If one person is a Democrat and the other’s a Republican - neither has done anything wrong.  But when one develops hatred for the other and becomes so intolerant that they treat the other as though they’re diseased, they fail to realize that the one who is diseased is actually themself. 

Hatred is a disease.  Love is the cure.  Even if someone does something you don’t agree with or understand, you should love them.  Hating will destroy you long before it does them.

Matthew Shepard’s family has set up a remarkable foundation in their beloved son’s name.  It’s too late to save Matthew, of course, but the hope is that it isn’t too late to save other sons and daughters, mothers and fathers…..  Their message is a simple yet powerful one:  Erase Hate.  There are pendants and tees that shout the message out loud and proud.

The more of us who wear and live this message, the better.  When the haters of the world see how completely outnumbered they are, perhaps they’ll retreat to a corner and figure out how to get a life.  Maybe then, when they step back out of the corner, they can actually enjoy life, contribute to society, live a life worth living, and allow everyone else to do the same.

Visit the Matthew Shepard Foundation’s Web Site today. 100% of the net proceeds go to the Matthew Shepard Foundation. 

I can’t believe I’m even thinking about approaching this subject…it’s one of those subjects that everyone has an opinion about.  Not just any opinions, either - STRONG opinions.  Add to that the fact that my opinion is incredibly unpopular.  That’s the recipe for disaster.  It’ll do little more than invite mean, snippy little “Are you out of your mind?” e-mails. 

True story:  After an innocent-enough little post about being a fan of Pamela Anderson, I got a furiously angry e-mail from someone so furious she couldn’t even type.  After calling me a crazy botch, she asked if I was out of my minds.  I told her I only had one and that, as far as I knew, I wasn’t out of it.  I signed it Soncerely, Crazy Botch and never heard from her again.

If Pamela got me called misspelled names, what - pray tell - will Barry earn me?  You guessed it, Barry as in Bonds - Mr. Controversy, himself.

First of all, I have absolutely no respect for people who lie.  I probably hate lying as much as I do anything - lying, racism, hate crimes, child abuse - I wish they’d all stayed in hell where they belong.  The fact that a select group of athletes aren’t being 100 percent honest and open causes me to lose respect for them as people.  But I’m not in the market for any sort of stones - especially not the kind to be thrown.

The chances are very good that Barry Bonds took something he doesn’t want everyone to know about.  Everything points in that direction.  And the point that so many other athletes have done the same thing doesn’t make it okay.  However, I’m on the side that says he should have been allowed to keep playing, and I’m on the side that says he deserves the title.  In an ever-dwindling group, I’m even with the ones who think an asterick is ridiculous.  (when I say ever-dwindling, I mean there are three of us……and number two is on the fence) 

I think of it kind of in these terms:  Let’s say John Doe cheated on a lot of final exams in college but was never caught.  Then he went on to make the Dean’s List and graduate with honors.   I don’t think he should be penalized at a later date. 

The school should have watched him more closely then, not now….after the fact. He did what most people with little character do, he got away with what he could get away with.

People do things they shouldn’t do on a regular basis.  What about President Clinton?  He told some whoppers - lies so big they’ve become part of history.  Never inhaled…he didn’t have sexual relations…  He was also elected President of the United States.  Was he the only president to ever lie…give me a break!  Unfortunately (or fortunately?) he just wasn’t very good at it.  He might be worse at lying than anyone I’ve ever seen.

Paris, Britney, Kobe, Mel, Lindsay, Nicole….  They all get away with what they can get away with.  Possibly my favorite female singer of all time, Whitney Houston, has been a pretty bad girl - but if she ever puts out another cd, I’ll run/not walk to buy two copies:  One for my vehicle and one for the house.  I won’t brand them with an asterick, either.  She’s human, like the rest of us. We humans make mistakes - heck, we pile them on top of one another.  All the people named in this post just have the misfortune of having their piles, so to speak, aired in public.

The point is, there are no perfect people - and, sadly, there aren’t very many who even come close. 

I congratulate Barry Bonds on his accomplishments.  He’s a great baseball player and I’ve enjoyed watching him play.  I’ve enjoyed watching his children’s excitement more than anything.  Children who probably don’t understand any of this madness at all.  They must think there are a lot of nasty people out there!  I’m sure they wonder why everyone isn’t happy for “daddy.”

Long before Bonds made history, he had people who didn’t like him.  He comes across as arrogant and cocky - and, probably, because he is!  But that’s just a part of who he is.  It isn’t a crime to love yourself some self.  Mark McGwire once said that he amazed himself.  Maybe I love self confidence a little too much, but it’s one of my favorite quotes from an athlete.  I liked it a heck of a lot better than all of the “I can’t say’s” he said during the hearings.  I just wanted him to once say, “I still amaze myself.”

I’m not going to debate what should or shouldn’t be done with any of these people who’ve done wrong things, with varying degrees of wrongness. I’m very  laid back, often too much so, so I’m very selective about what things I stress over.   Shaky celebs and shady athletes, overall, just don’t register as more than bleeps on my radar.

Some people may not be able to understand that, but I can’t understand getting all worked up over things that don’t affect your daily life.  The people who are “in the right” are probably somewhere between me and the spitting, spewing high-stressers.

All in all, what I’m getting at is this:  There’s very, very little…as in nothing….we can do about people who don’t play by the rules.  There’s little we can do about people who lie, cheat, or don’t play well with others.  We can’t police the world.  We can only take care of ourselves and our own little corner of the world. 

We can’t control how they ACT, but we can control how we REACT.  In the same way that a goldfish becomes so accustomed to being in water that he doesn’t realize there’s life outside of water, people who overreact get so accustomed to it that they don’t realize there’s a happier, healthier existence down on the even keel.  The ones spewing venom all over the place seem to think that their outbursts are going to effect the balance somehow…..if they make enough noise and stir up enough hate, the scales will tip and they’ll change the entire situation.  That’s just not going to happen.  Same way that shaking your fist and calling the little old lady in front of you at the stoplight names isn’t going to make her drive any differently than she’s capable of. 

It’ll just make you look like a bigger fool than the one that got you so worked up in the first place. Sure, you’ll put on a pretty good show, but you’ll be defeating your purpose - you’re taking the attention off of the one you’re so angry at and putting it all on you.  Said another way, you’re making a damned fool of yourself.

I’m, of course, talking about the Nasty Nellies of the world, not the ones calmly giving their opinions.  There was a man on ESPN a few nights ago that almost made me switch my anti-asterick opinion, but I held onto it in the end.  That’s the beauty of opinions, they’re one of the only things in life you can ever hang onto and refuse to give up. Right or wrong, we make them our own and nobody has the right to try to steal them away.

We do, however, an injustice to our opinions when we scream them and throw them in everyone’s lap.  Do we have a right to give ours?  Abso-freakin’-lutely.  We should give them in the manner I used to feed my daughters in when they were babies.  I’d gently put the spoon to their little heart-shaped lips and let them “taste” or “sample” the food in question.  If it was something they liked, they’d open their mouths like little birds and the food would disappear.  If it was something they wanted no part of (like strained green beans), the lips would clamp right shut, right after they spewed green all over their bib, highchair, me, and whatever else was nearby.

If it were something they didn’t like AT ALL, I certainly didn’t pry their little mouths open and force them to eat it. We should be at least as considerate with our opinions.

One more thing, I know that a lot of people are using the argument that Barry Bonds (and the others who are out of the spotlight that Barry’s in the middle of) are hideous role models.  They’ll make kids want to use steroids and other substances, etc.  Barry isn’t raising anyone’s kids except his own.  Putting that kind of shackle on him isn’t fair….no more than saying other athletes will make our kids drink because they do beer commercials, drive beer-sponsored cars, or have their pictures taken while drinking.

A lot of people are beginning to turn into bullies over this situation and they’re hurting whatever cause it is they think they have.  Barry Bonds has the title and will have until Ken Griffey Jr., Albert Pujols, Adam Dunn, or A Rod take it away.  Can’t we just let him and his family have a little peace?  There’s enough nasty in the world - no one should make it their goal each morning to cause more.

Here’s a radical idea, but why not make it our goal to bring more peace into the world instead of less?

Hopefully, that’s not too much of a crazy botch idea.

I’m starting a new Category here on the blog tonight.  It’s called Agree or Disagree About — And each one will feature either a quote, claim, or action.  Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to leave a comment stating if you agree or disagree.  If you’re so inclined (and I hope you will be), I’d love for you to tell why you agree or disagree.

I came up with this idea recently after reading a few of the comments left on this blog.  Like most bloggers, I’ve found that people don’t leave a lot of comments anymore.  Unlike most bloggers, though I usually don’t mind.  Sure I like to hear you breathing, so I know you’re there - but, like you, I also know what it’s like to be too busy for my own good. I’m as guilty as anyone of reading posts - getting what I need from them, then moving on to my next stop. I’m actually horrible about it.

But recently I was reading some quotes left on this blog and was both motivated and educated.  Hard to beat that with a tree full of sticks, so I thought I’d prod you a little bit and see what else I can get from you!  I want everyone to benefit from your wit and wisdom, so this is me coaxing it out of you.

I’m starting the ball rolling with a quote by Albert Einstein:

“If A is success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.”

Do you strongly agree, strongly disagree, or find yourself somewhere in the middle? I guess that the main point of debate would be the part about “keeping your mouth shut” and (obviously) it would largely depend upon the circumstance(s).  But IN GENERAL (overall) do you agree with Einstein on this or not.

Also, can you come up with a more modern equation or do you feel that Einstein’s is timeless?

Okay, let’s have it….get those brain cells popping!