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I‘m nothing if not a learner. For all of my faults, and they’re a varied and entertaining lot, I can honestly say that, at least, I am always open to change and embrace learning like a 3 year old embraces a stuffed animal.   Something I’ve discovered is that the best lessons don’t come from books.  That statement probably seems astounding coming from someone who practically worships the shelf a book lies on.  Nonetheless, the best lessons come from life, itself. 

Lessons spring from the most unexpected places - I’ll give them that.  While they’re often found hovering around their favorite hangout: our mistakes,  they’ve also been known to show up in movies, television programs, the lives of other people, quiet moments on the beach, in songs, and in life-changing events.

I’m getting together a series of posts titled “What I’ve Learned…”  Thankfully, the learning process continues daily, but I wanted to spotlight some of the most important lessons I’ve learned in my life, to date. It’s my hope that if the lessons touched me, you’ll feel something from them as well. What can I say, I’m touchy-feely.

Each person and (often) event has provided, of course, multiple lessons, but to keep from being at my keyboard all summer, I’m only highlighting one lesson for each.

The order they’ll appear in is the result of a very scientific and complicated process. That or, I just wrote them down on little pieces of paper, turned them on their faces, and chose their order at random.

My middle daughter, Brittany, was the first name I drew - so she’ll be the first post. I can’t wait for you to meet her, she’s not just a character, she’s a character’s character.

********************
If you’re a blogger, this would actually serve as a great idea for future blog posts. You know those times when you just can’t think of anything to say? Let your life lessons do the talking for you. They always have something to say, anyway, don’t they?!

If you’ve been a Self Help Daily regular for very long, you may be aware that, with the exception of the very first one (which was before I even knew this designer existed) I’ve always used themes designed by one young man - Chris Pearson. There’s a reason for this. I put a lot of work, energy, and passion into Self Help Daily. I want a theme that will compliment and enhance my efforts. The last thing I want is one that will detract from what I’m trying to do.

Unfortunately there are a lot of themes that do just that. They’re so convoluted or amateurish that the content gets lost in the mix. I have to admit that I’ve actually gone to blogs and left before even finishing a post. Offline I’m a ridiculously patient person. I can stand in line for an hour and amuse myself by either talking to or watching everyone around me.  I’ve never even mouthed off at a stop light. But online? Different story. When I’m online, I have zero patience. If a site’s design, font, or navigation annoy me - I peel out of there before they even knew I was lurking.

The theme you see in front of you is Chris Pearson’s latest, and I think greatest, theme - the Thesis Theme. 

The last time I even thought of the word Thesis was probably in college.  When I heard the word, then, it meant I had a great deal of library time ahead of me.  If an instructor wanted a thesis, he/she wanted an original,  well thought-out, thorough, and carefully researched presentation.  Neatness and attention to detail mattered greatly and they would not settle for less than our best effort.  If they detected so much as a hint of sloppiness or plagiarism, the student knew they would be headed back to the library.

A “Thesis” meant we had to create something that would have to live up to a very high standard.

Chris Pearson named his new theme beautifully.

Thesis, how do I love thee?  Let me bullet point the ways:

•  Just about everyone has a blog or a presence of some kind on the web these days, right?  The Thesis theme is so deliciously customizable that you can stand out from a crowd like never before.  Take, for example, the rotating images to the right.  Animal lover that I am, it didn’t take me long to choose the pictures I’d be rotating.  I’m also incredibly obsessed with quotes, so I combined the two loves (hover over each image and you’ll see what I mean).   On my Cat Blog, I personalized it even further by using pictures of my own babies.  No one, anywhere, at any time, will have the same blog as this one - because no one, anywhere, at any time, will have the same 4 adorable characters that star in the show.
• Another great thing about the rotating images is that you can use the pictures to “set the mood” for a particular season or “theme.”  For example, on Hollywood Yesterday, I featured pictures of sitcom and movie fathers for Father’s Day.  After that, I had a “Cowboy” theme with a variety of movie stars from Clint Eastwood to Matt Dillon.  Currently, in honor of Summer, I have a Beach of a theme going on (Sorry for the pun, it’s late.  You’re right, that’s no excuse.).
• You can use ads instead of the rotating images, if you chose to. (Out of Bounds, Simplenomics, Get Cooking, and Office Freaks.)  They can conveniently and wisely figure in above the fold.  Quite frankly, if you choose your ads wisely they can both look good and perform well.  I haven’t tried it yet, but I’m certain you could work a Google ad in the space as well.  The theme actually even includes an option for a video instead of the ads or images.
• See the “drop cap” action going on at the first of the post?  Yeah, I pretty much love that.  Chris has incorporated this into the theme - all you have to do is include a little code when writing your post.  Personally, I think it looks amazing.  I also love the “alerts” and “notes’ that you can add to your blog posts - they’re also extremely professional looking and allow you to draw attention those particularly important things.  If you look several posts down (look for the sleeping lion) you’ll find a post where I ran amok with this feature.  I threw out one alert (in yellow) and one note (in gray) in one post.  I must have been even more caffeinated than usual that day.
• The typography on Thesis is absolute perfection.  It is so much easier to read than most other blogs and websites.  The spacing, the font, the size - everything is exactly as it should be.
• The support provided is also more than you could ever hope for.  With most themes, you make your purchase and then, as far as the designer is concerned, you’re history.  With Thesis, you have every conceivable means of support imaginable.  Chris responds to comments, questions, and concerns on the Thesis blog, he has put together a great manual, and there’s a forum that’s overflowing with creativity and wisdom. 

 I’ve been blogging for two forevers and have seen a lot of themes come and go.  I’ve noticed something about theme coders and designers.  They fall into one of two categories:  They’re either the copied or the copier.  Like fashion designers, they either set the trend others want to follow or they try to follow the trend others set.

I honestly don’t know what’s worse, the copy cats or the ones so out of the loop that don’t realize they should at least be taking notes!

When I’ve been fortunate enough to come across something I love, whether it’s green tea, a great movie (Wanted) or a hot song (Fake It by Seether) - I want to tell other people about it.  What can I say, I play well with others.  Use the links in this post and check out the Thesis Theme.  It’ll could be the smartest purchase you’ll make this year. 

And go see Wanted…

God has blessed me with a busy life, for which I thank Him daily.  Okay, okay - almost daily.  Some hectic days find me more full of caffeine than thankfulness.

One of the drawbacks of business is never having enough time to read all of the books, blogs, magazines, and newspapers that I want to read. Over the past few posts, I’ve told you about some of the websites and blogs that I do manage to read regularly.

Another one of these sites is ProBlogger.net.  If you’re a blogger, I guarantee this is a blog you’ll benefit from reading.  The more you read it, the more you’ll benefit. The comments, alone, contain more knowledge than most blogs!  Wow.  Big statement for a Friday.

The posts are always informative and entertaining.  A particular series of posts Darren Rowse is doing is what I’d have to call Must Read’s.  The series is called “10 Ways to Let Your Blog Go and What to Do About It.”  Great stuff.  Dibs on the cat in the picture, though, I’m straight hooking him up with my cat Alexa.

One of the best “Self Help” books you’ll ever hold in your hands is the one you write yourself.  It’ll help you more than all of the others put together and multiplied by a dozen.  After all, what good is a book with other people as the lead characters?  This one is all about you! 

Words in Action - A Journal to Inspire Change is for the person who has had it “up to here” with something in his or her life.  It might be a problem with weight, money, work, or relationships.  It might be a habit that they want to shake or a personality trait that they’re tired of lying down with every night and waking up to every morning.

Whatever “it” is, the individual has reached the point where they’re ready to make a life-altering change.  They’ve seen the past, they see the present, and they want even more from the future.  Heck, they demand more!  They realize that the answers aren’t going to come magically floating down from Heaven.  After all, if we keep doing what we’ve been doing, we’ll always have what we have.

This journal is absolutely perfect for anyone who is on a self-improvement journey.  Each page has a different ”Action Word” (such as Intelligence, Denial, Accomplishment, Karma, Breakthrough….) as well as two great quotes to help drive the Action Word home.  There’s also a short and right to the point description of the Action Word.

There are also random short articles (sort of like blog posts) for some of the words.  I believe there are between 10 and 12 of these.  I’d check, but my Words in Action - A Journal to Inspire Change isn’t beside me. It’s lying on my favorite chair in the living room. I write in it everyday. But I do more than just write, I also read. When you go back through a journal and read what you’d previously written, you sort of catch up with what you were thinking “back there.” This gives you a lot of insight into where and how you ran like the wind in particular areas of your journey. Of course, it also gives you insight into where you slipped and fell on your face. A journal shows you the exact slippery spot, helping you to recognize it before you have to eat earth again.

Something else I love about this journal is that it contains no dates.  THere are 365 Action Words and pages for writing on - but it’s up to us which 365 days we use them on.  I’ve always hated journals that try to hold you to a particular schedulce.  What if I have nothing to say on Friday July 25th?!  What if I’ve spent too much time in the sun and can now be found amongst oooohs and ahhhhs as my husband slathers Noxema on my back and extols the virtues of sunscreen?  Am I supposed to feel guilty or overwhelmed on Saturday July 26th?!  Pffft.

This journal takes a much more laid back approach and realizes that we all march to a different beat.  Hey, as long as we march, right?!

Anyway, this beautiful, hardback journal is beyond perfect.  You will love the journey and the wisdom and insight you pick up along the way.  It just occurred to me, but this would be an ideal…and I mean IDEAL gift for a blogger.  Each Action Word could be very inspirational in launching your inner writer - it’d send your thoughts in a wonderful direction.  You could then use the blank space to write these thoughts down.  The thoughts would then, of course, find their way into a blog post. 

“All of life is a journey; which paths we take, what we look back on, and what we look forward to is up to us.  We determine our destination, what kind of road we will take to get there, and how happy we are when we get there.” - Author Unknown (Too busy enjoying his or her journey to write their name, perhaps?)

Unlike my aunt (that’s not her to the left, btw), who doesn’t miss a single serve, I don’t really follow the sport of tennis much anymore.  The “characters” are pretty much gone, so I have to admit I lost interest.  Something caught my eye in a newspaper this week, though.   I saw a picture of a very young girl, a professional tennis player, and beneath the picture was the word Retired.  At 25.  According to the story, she’d lost her passion for the sport.

We’ve all been there, right?  Irregardless of our career path or walk in life - sometimes the next step seems more monumental than all the ones before.  Other times, the steps ahead seem blase’, unimportant, and fail to inspire us any more than Jack Black in a Speedo.

I’ve been there before.  Because, irregardless of what some people may think, just because you work from home doesn’t mean it isn’t work.  When web publishers, writers, graphic artists, web designers, etc. sit and work for hours each day - it’s not exactly free time!   Yes, working from home has huge, beautiful benefits - but the lack of respect and the jokes about “getting a job” are enough to make a person want to eat pencils.

That’s why I don’t keep pencils on my desk.

Oh, and my, my, my…  A word about full-time mothers.  You want to talk about WORK?!?!  If anyone assumes that a full time mother doesn’t work - I’d invite them to do what she does.  If they survived a full day, they’d give her flowers the next day and well-deserved respect every day thereafter. 

Irregardless of where you work or what you do, there will be times when your motivation and, even, inspiration, fail you.  Fortunately you don’t have to stay in the Lost Zone.  

There have been days when I’ll open a blog editor or pick up a pen and paper to write an article and…. and, nothing.  I’ll just stare at the white space until I get swimmy eyed, then I close whatever it is I have open along with my mind.  Sometimes “it” just isn’t there and for the life of me I don’t know where “it” went.

Lost Zone, incidentally, is a name I came up with for this feeling while I was in high school.  I loved Literature, English, Composition, Biology,  Spanish, and History.  (I don’t have any kind words for Math and it doesn’t have any for me.)  Still, there would be times when I just didn’t care if I finished the Shakespeare play I was reading at the time or if I ever saw another art thou again.

My mom and my Bassett Hound would always tell me to leave the books for a while and do something else.  Mom would suggest cleaning my room, “Honey” would suggest a walk. We walked a lot.

When you feel like you’re in the Lost Zone, you need a new perspective.  Fortunately, one can be found just around the corner.  Below are a few of their favorite hiding places:

• New Perspectives love to hide near water.  Lakes, Oceans, Rivers - you can almost always find one simply by looking out over a beautiful body of water. 
• Parks.  Whether it’s a State Park or a City Park, these are some of the most ALIVE places on earth.  One of the great things about them is the way they conjur up amazing memories from yesterday.  Trips to the park when we were children, times we took our little ones to the park, etc.  It was even in a park, by a lake, sitting at a picnic table that my husband asked me to marry him.  Is it any wonder water and parks are numbers one and two?!
• Don’t look now, but a new perspective might just be in your own yard!  Grilling out, planting flowers, feeding birds (and squirrels, raccoons, possums…), soaking up a few rays, spying on the neighbors, petting your cat or dog, throwing a frisbee - they’re all perfect ways to just get away from it all and find a new perspective.
• Taking a ride through the country - or across the country - can do wonders to clear your head.  Some people (moi included) like to turn the radio up, sing along, and even, when the move hits, do a little seat dancing.  Others like to just roll the windows down, turn the radio off and listen to the world as it passes by.  That’s cool, too.
• Watching a movie is also a great escape.  Whether it’s on your sofa or your nearest movie theater, this one’s a great way to get away.  (Btw, if you haven’t seen Iron Man yet, you really should - I’ve seen it twice and that’s something I never do.  What’s even more telling is I’d go a third time!  Yeah, he can fly. And, yeah, I loved it.)
• The zoo!  Another one of my favorite places on the entire earth is the zoo.  Even though I always make my husband spend a fortune in the gift shop.  (This polar bear figurine, that lion coffee mug, those stuffed bears…)  Watching amazing, beautiful, and always entertaining animals takes you away from anything and everything troubling, unsettling, or even mildly annoying.  Who could fret over writer’s block when a monkey is clowning at one turn and a polar bear is taking a dive at the next?

A Fresh Perspective will do a world of good when you need a break.  

The ones above are just a few of my favorites - your own fresh perspective may be hiding on a golf course, in a fishing boat, in a bowling alley, etc.  It may be at a baseball, basketball, or football game.  Sporting events are great places to get away from it all and just have fun.  If you need and want a fresh perspective, it’s there waiting for you.

Make it a point to find at least one this weekend.  Monday will thank you for it! 

I actually have three things I want to share with you today, things that I think will help you help yourself (Self Help Daily’s favorite scenario).  I’m going to put them all in one post rather than three separate ones… So here we go!

GREATER GOOGLING

My daughters kid me about being the Queen of Google.  Whenever we need to find anything out, my first response is, “I’ll Google it.”  And then I do…  I find what we need, too - as in every time.  I kick some serious search engine butt when it comes to knowing when to add a + sign along with quotation marks and knowing what search terms to use.  Spending your working hours in front of the computer screen has its benefits.

However, and this pains me somewhat to say it, I recently read a post by Jim Edwards that pointed out a few things I didn’t know.  Imagine!  The link is below and it’s a wealth of information for anyone who…. well, for anyone!  We all need information, and usually on a daily basis.  Jim’s post will show you how to make sure you get all of the information you need.

Improve Search Engine Results - 5 Easy Tips

YouTube and YOU!

Another amazing source of information is YouTube. It’s not just music videos and Dane Cook (though I highly recommend each! ).  Wordpress recently came out with a slick new  version - 2.5.  I have 13 of my own blogs and maintain 5 more, so I had a lot of updating to do (which explains why there haven’t been as many posts lately).  Problem was, I had no idea how to go about it or, really, if I even should try. 

Option #1 - I GOOGLED, of course.  There were countless forum and blog postings by experts and geniuses.  But all of the blah blah blahs were flying over my head and the yadda yadda yaddas were giving my headache a headache.  So I thought, “Hmmmm… I wonder if anyone has put up a YouTube tutorial…”  Eu-freakin-reka!  I searched “Wordpress 2.5″ and it produces over 40 results.  There are probably even more now.

If you haven’t upgraded, you should look into it - either by using the Automatic Upgrade Plugin or manually, the old school way.  Some of the blogs I upgraded worked with the Plugin, others had to be led through it step by step.  Neither process killed me, thanks to a great little plugin and to the professors of YouTube.

It made me wonder how many other “classes” were available at the University of YouTube.  I searched for random “How To’s” - some of which I already knew full well how to do (anything related to baking or gardening), others I had no clue about (how to save money on anything), and some I have no intention of ever doing (manual, sweaty stuff… Oh, and saving money on anything.  Sorry, honey.)  Below are just some of the tutorials available - and each has more than one.

• How to Knead Bread
• How to Change a Tire
• How to Save Money at the Grocery Store
• How to Grow Tomatoes
• Organic Gardening
• How to Prune Rose Bushes
• How to Plant Tulips
• How to Clean Your Gutters
• How to Change Your Oil
• How to Make a Million Dollars
• How to Make Fudge
• How to Build a Computer
• How to Build Golf Clubs
• How to Play Golf (over 3,700 results)
• How to Be a Better Husband (about 750 results)
• How to Play the Piano
• How to Play the Guitar
• How to Get into College
• How to Decorate a Cake 

Great stuff!

A REVOLUTIONARY IDEA

Last, but certainly not least:  This is for those of you who blog. My husband recently found (and purchased) some amazing blog themes - The Revolution WordPress Themes Package. He bought the package because we have so many blogs and wanted to use the theme on more than one.  However, the gorgeous themes are also available individually, since most people have only one blog.   

These themes are positively stunning.  You can customize them to the ends of the earth and back.  I’ve already redone three of my own blogs using various Revolution themes, and plan to do at least one more.  I’ve linked to mine below - I redid the colors on a few (simply to “match” the attitude of the blog) and created banners for the top.  Thankfully, the themes are so easy to customize you could change the looks as often as you want.  They’re also beautiful, as they are,  so you don’t actually have to do anything AT ALL in the way of changing the colors, etc.

I’ve used the following themes on the following blogs:

I have the Revolution Magazine Theme on my Kentucky Blog, and Music Blog.  I might use this theme on my Hollywood Yesterday blog as well.  I think the featured video will be perfect, and come on, the thumbnails are crazy cool!

I put the Tech Theme on our Gadget site, All Handhelds.  I wanted it to look like a cross between a website and a blog - kind of a website that happens to function like a blog.  A revolutionary idea that the Revolution Theme plays along with brilliantly.

I know I’ve given you a lot to chew on in this post - hindsight says screams, “You should have made this three posts, not one!”  The links open in new windows, though, so at least you can go check things out and then come back.  You know my door’s always open and the coffee’s always on.

I have no idea what I ever did to the month of April, but she’s exacting her revenge so craftily I can’t help being impressed.

The comment function on Self Help Daily hasn’t been working for a few days, apparently.  It could have been longer - which, of course would mean I’d pi$$ed off March somewhere along the way as well.  At any rate, I’ve taken care of the problem and you can once again leave comments.  If you have a blog, you might want to check the spam plugin you’re using - it may have gone boobs up like ours.  If so, I offer my condolences and recommend —–UPDATE - I don’t have one to recommend…it messed up, too. ***

What makes this little problem all the more impressive is that I now have to do the grunt work to fix the problem on the rest of our blogs - as well as the business blogs we host.  Suffice to say, my Friday’s pretty much accounted for.  But it’s all good.  My beee-utiful daughters and I are going to have a nice authentic Mexican lunch at one of our favorite restaurants, on the river in downtown Owensboro.  Then we’ll swing by Starbucks and grab some special drinks that make Joi happy, happy, happy.

Then, with drink in hand and smile on face I’ll get back to work.

It was almost funny, 5 minutes after learning about this problem, my husband found out that one of the business sites we host was down for the count.  April apparently thought the first string of problems she hurled my way weren’t quite enough….. So BAM!  Ah, she underestimated my crisis control skills.  The site was back up inside of 5 minutes. 

And that was without Starbucks.

An angry month isn’t going to rain on my parade!  If she tries anything else, I’ll sick one of my ninja cats on her.

*** Technology’s a biotch, Headaches are back, and I’m moving to Starbucks.

If you use GOOGLE Adsense, you should be aware that Google has recently implemented new policies.  Publishers need to be certain they read through the policies top to bottom.  (They’ll appear when you log in to your adsense account.)

One of the newest policies, and one that has most people pretty shook up, is the one that now requires all publishers to have a Privacy Policy in place. 

When I read that I was now to notify my visitors “specifically about cookies and web beacons,” my head nearly exploded.  Yeah, so, cookies, to me, are baked in the oven and eaten with coffee…. and web beacons?  Web beacons? 

Thankfully for people as out of the loop as I am, we have a guardian angel:  Jennifer Slegg at Jensense.com has developed a Privacy Policy template for us.

Jen, I love you.

You can copy the template, fill in the blanks with your information, and place it on your new Privacy Policy page.  And, of course, be sure to link to her blog.

….and thank God for her…. And light a candle in her honor……  And name your next child Jennifer.

We bloggers are like Hallmark, we’re always wanting to reach out and touch someone.

But with all the billions of blogs and web sites online, the competition’s enough to make you want to hide in your closet.  

Waaaay in the back.

New people land on our blogs almost daily.  When they come through our front door, we want them to sit down and get comfortable while we serve them a plate of posts and a glass of rss. 

The trick is catching them before they take off to the blog next door.

I’ve come up with an idea that sort of puts the welcome mat out for our cherished new visitors, so that hopefully they’ll become one of our even more cherished regular guests.

At the top, you’ll notice a link to “First Time Visitors.”  I created a simple little page to serve as a welcome mat - telling what Self Help Daily and I are all about.  It includes an invitation to look around and take a tour and even points in the direction of the glass of rss.

A welcome page, such as this, should be short and to the point.  I don’t think it should go too far into detail about the blogger or the blog (that’s what the about page is for, after all). 

The words, “Welcome New Visitors!” is different from the words that we’re used to seeing on blogs:  About, Contact, rss, Blogroll, etc.  It stands out, so I believe it would get a newcomer’s much coveted attention.  If I were on the blog for the first time and saw a welcome mat rolled out for me, I’d jump on it.

Sometimes a short, simple affirmation…or mantra…can make a huge difference and leave an impact in its wake that can be felt for a lifetime.  One of the most inspiring stories of “overcoming an addiction” I ever heard involved such a mantra.  A young man overcame a serious drug and alcohol addiction and totally turned his life around.  He told me that he kept telling himself, “I will do this.”  When temptation tapped him on the shoulder, he’d encourage himself to look the other way by whispering, “I will do this.”  When it smacked him in the face, he’d yell, “I WILL do this!”

And he did.

As we motor toward 2008, I want to challenge all of you to come up with a 3 to 6 word affirmation to inspire and motivate the rest of us.  It can be one you’ve used, yourself, or it can be one you plan to adopt for 2008.

If you’re a blogger, I’d love for you to write a post centered around your mini mantra.  Then, leave a comment with a link directing us to your post.  If you aren’t a blogger, I still want to know your thoughts, of course!  So, leave your words of motivation in the comments as well.

My personal favorite mini mantra has become, ”Make it Happen.”  I love this mantra’s attitude - it doesn’t encourage us to wait around, hoping that what we want falls into our proverbial laps.  It refuses to let us take a passive or inactive stance in life.  It totally holds us accountable, and isn’t that how it should be?  “Make it Happen” reminds us that we are in the driver’s seat, as opposed to the backseat - meaning we have to relentlessly keep our hands on the steering wheel and steer our own lives in the direction we want it to go.

It doesn’t give us any wiggle room or permission to say things like:

• If only I had more time…
• I don’t have enough money…
• No one will help me!
• I can’t catch a break…
• I’m too old…
• I’m too young…
• I’m too frail…
• I’m too heavy…
• I’m not smart enough…
• I don’t know how…

If we were to even try to utter any of the phrases above, this mantra would stare us dead in the eye and firmly say, “Make it Happen” before we even got the words out.

I think that, probably, the reason this mantra appeals to me so much is because I need it so badly!  It just so happens that I am the most laid back person in the world. The title belonged to my dad, but when he passed away, I moved into the top spot.  In addition to that title, I’m also the stereotypical only child. I was spoiled off my butt when I was growing up, and frankly I embraced it.  If I had a mantra it then it would have been, “Someone will take care of that…” or “I’ll get around to it…”   But everyone grows up, right?  Even little spoiled brats!

Make it Happen is a firm reminder that if you want something to happen - it’s up to you to…… Make it Happen. 

I look forward to reading your own mantras and thoughts.  I realize it’s a very busy time of year, so if you only have time to post the mantra - go for it.  After all, a really good mantra is a lesson all on its own.