Self Help

“Eventually, there comes a point in every life where you can no longer ignore the enormous and expanding gap between the life you could be living and the life you’ve settled for…. Every day of your life that you’re not actively engaged in staying fit, eating well, and strengthening your body the gap grows.” - Stregnth for Life, by Shawn Phillips, page 10

To read my review of the next book you should read (Strength for Life, by Shawn Phillips), see Why You Should Read Strength for Life by Shawn Phillips This Week.

This isn’t a book you’ll read, shelf, and then forget - it’s a proven system that’ll help you bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.

From My Husband, I’ve Learned That You Have to Fight For What You Want, No One’s Going to Do It For You

My husband, Michael, had more hardships before he even knew what the word meant than some people have in their whole lifetime. Without going into specifics, he was a very premature baby at a time when their survival wasn’t likely, his father died in a car wreck when he was a baby, and he was raised by a single, unemployed grandmother. This grandmother, who he knew as “Mama” got by on sheer grit - and we all miss her to this day.

He has told me several stories about fights he had in school and I suppose it makes perfect sense. He was born into a fight (for survival), so fighting has been a way of life for him.

Fortunately for the other males in his small town of Kentucky, it didn’t take long before he channeled this fighting spirit in a direction that led to more than fat lips on smart mouths.

He “fought” for his education. He was one of those real life cases of someone having to walk to school both ways. He could have skipped more than he went, but he respected his “mama” and education too much to cheat them, or himself.

He “fought” for his country - serving proudly in the Army as well as the Air Force.

Most of all, he has “fought” for his family. After September 11, the business Michael was in (like a lot of businesses) went to hell in a sack. We lost our dream home (it was so beautiful!) but we didn’t lose our, even more beautiful, dreams.

During a span of about 3 years - losing our home was actually the kindest favor life threw our way. Michael’s mom died, his sister was killed in a sudden accident, and my mom suffered a heart attack and began, health-wise, to go down rapidly. She was just 60 years of age, at the time, so that was all a great shock.

We all felt like the wind had been knocked out of us, and, frankly, I wanted to stay down on the mat for a while. But “Rocky” jumped back up and pulled me up along with him. My mindset was, “Are you crazy - if we get up, we might get hit again!” But his mindset was, “Are you crazy, you can’t hit back if you’re on the mat!”

We got up. Correction - I got up. He never succumbed to the mat. Sure, he may have taken a knee, but he stayed up.

We’re very different - Michael and I. You see, I am the stereotypical only child - I was spoiled rotten by the time I met Michael. To me, a fight was something Sugar Ray Leonard did in the ring. I never really had to fight for anything - thanks to my mom, dad, aunts, and uncles everything was always given to me.

When I got into the real world (you know the one…where mom doesn’t do your laundry and dad doesn’t have sausage and biscuits made for you first thing in the morning) - it could have eaten me alive. It tried a few times, but Michael taught me - with his words, but mostly from watching him - that you have to fight for what you want from life. No one else is going to do it for you.

Not only that, but he has also taught me that you should never settle for anything. I learned, long ago, never to tell him that something was “good enough” or that it was “okay.” Those aren’t just words to him, they’re challenges.

Career-wise, Michael went on to become the absolute best in his field.  He, literally, has had people try to hire him all over the country.  That would have been “good enough” for most people.  But he has always wanted to make sure that, in the unlikely event that anything happened to him (I say unlikely because I don’t think the grim reaper would stand a shot) - the girls and I would have something of our own.  So we launched a web publishing business that is, in my estimation, quite successful.  In his?  It needs more work, of course!

He hasn’t given a fat lip to a wise guy (to my knowledge!) in over 20 years. But he has jack slapped every obstacle that was foolish enough to get in his way. He has never settled and he has tried his level best to make sure no one he loves ever settles, either.

I know, for a fact, that I’ve accomplished more and have gotten more out of myself because of the things I’ve learned from him.

Fighters never quit and quitters never win.

From My Middle Daughter, Brittany, I’ve Learned That You Have to Be True to Yourself……

My daughter Brittany has more artistic talent in her eyebrow than most people have in their whole body. She’s very bright, imaginative, and creative. This creative streak has always caused her to march to a different drummer - one often unheard by the rest of the world! Since I’ve always had my own personal band, I understand, perfectly, where she’s coming from. I may not always applaud her decisions, but I always applaud the bravado with which she makes them.

When she was 12, she up and decided that she’d no longer eat anything that “once had a face on it.” She made this declaration one night as I was fixing supper. As we talked about protein and its other sources, I made two pans of spaghetti sauce that - one with meat and one without. Deep down, I knew her mind was made up and that she would probably stick with this forever. She has.

This was right before Hollywood made vegetarianism a “cool” thing to do, long before it was so PC. She got a lot of ribbing from family members, and more than a few arguments. When we’d go out to eat and would have to take into consideration her eating restrictions, she’d feel uneasy (especially if it went against what one of her sisters wanted - she’d feel the glares along with the uneasiness), but she never caved in.

It wasn’t the popular thing to do, but it was her call to make. Well-meaning family members and acquaintances told us that, if they were me, they’d make her eat meat. Britt’s response, “I’m glad you’re not her!”

She also went through an unusual phase when she was around 15. She fell in love with wearing black and it became practically the only color she’d wear. It wasn’t any sort of a statement - the kid just preferred the way she looked in black. Drove her dad nuts! Here was this beautiful girl and all she’d wear were loose black t-shirts and black shorts or pants. During this time she also decided that THE way…the only way… to wear one’s hair was peeled back in a ponytail, without so much as a hair free. So her long, gorgeus, thick, naturally wavy dark hair was gelled and pulled daily.

Her grandmother would buy her colorful clothes, but they’d just hang in the closet, watching the black clothes have all the fun.

Thankfully, this passed about as quickly as it came. Since then, she has worn every color of the rainbow - often at the same time! Thankfully the hair is allowed more freedom as well.

From watching a very young girl have a strong enough willpower and a sense of herself to stand up and make what were unpopular choices, I learned that you don’t have to fit in or follow the crowd. Everyone doesn’t HAVE to like everything that you do. It takes courage to be true to be yourself and “find your own way.” It’d be much easier to just follow along the way someone else chooses for you - but, isn’t that “their way?” Finding “your own way” means finding it yourself.

Sure, you’ll make wrong turns along the way, but you’ll navigate through the detours and grow stronger as a result.

I’m what my mom always called a “people pleaser.” I honestly get ill if I think I’ve done something that someone else doesn’t like or approve of. I’ve been that way since I can remember. Brittany has taught me that you absolutely, positively cannot please everyone - not even those closest to you. You’re going to do things that make them think you’ve gone around the bend and you’re going to do things that cause others to whisper about you behind your back.

I’ve learned, from watching Brittany, that you can treat these whispers as your own personal background music - it harmonizes sweetly with the drum you’re marching to.

Originality is something to be worn with an exclamation, not an explanation.

This post is the second in a series of “What I’ve Learned…” posts.

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I‘m nothing if not a learner. For all of my faults, and they’re a varied and entertaining lot, I can honestly say that, at least, I am always open to change and embrace learning like a 3 year old embraces a stuffed animal.   Something I’ve discovered is that the best lessons don’t come from books.  That statement probably seems astounding coming from someone who practically worships the shelf a book lies on.  Nonetheless, the best lessons come from life, itself. 

Lessons spring from the most unexpected places - I’ll give them that.  While they’re often found hovering around their favorite hangout: our mistakes,  they’ve also been known to show up in movies, television programs, the lives of other people, quiet moments on the beach, in songs, and in life-changing events.

I’m getting together a series of posts titled “What I’ve Learned…”  Thankfully, the learning process continues daily, but I wanted to spotlight some of the most important lessons I’ve learned in my life, to date. It’s my hope that if the lessons touched me, you’ll feel something from them as well. What can I say, I’m touchy-feely.

Each person and (often) event has provided, of course, multiple lessons, but to keep from being at my keyboard all summer, I’m only highlighting one lesson for each.

The order they’ll appear in is the result of a very scientific and complicated process. That or, I just wrote them down on little pieces of paper, turned them on their faces, and chose their order at random.

My middle daughter, Brittany, was the first name I drew - so she’ll be the first post. I can’t wait for you to meet her, she’s not just a character, she’s a character’s character.

********************
If you’re a blogger, this would actually serve as a great idea for future blog posts. You know those times when you just can’t think of anything to say? Let your life lessons do the talking for you. They always have something to say, anyway, don’t they?!

People don’t always hear what you say but they always see what you do.

The statement above once danced deliriously around my head while chanting “Na na na boo boo..”  I had been teaching one of my daughters to drive.  From the very first time she got behind the wheel, I noticed the odd way that she held it.  Her hands would always default into a really peculiar position.  Each time, I’d say something like, “Here. Why don’t you put one hand here, the other hand here…and if you have a third one, put it here.”

Finally, she got to where she’d arrnage them in a more reasonable position - but I noticed that the reasonable position was always Plan B.  Plan A was to instinctively go with a haphazard, funky positioning.

One day - about one week and 200 Tylenols into the lessons - I got into my rightful “Starbucks, Here I Come” position in the driver’s seat.  Turned the key, popped in a little vintage Janet Jackson and grabbed the wheel.  As Janet was demanding to know what someone had done for her late-ly, I happened to catch a glimpse of my hands. 

Oh, yeah, my hands were getting three kinds of freaky.  My way of holding the wheel was kind of cock-eyed, too.  She had obviously picked up the technique from watching me… probably the last person one should pick up driving techniques from.  Unless, of course they have Nascar or demolition derby aspirations.

On the way to Starbucks, it occurred to me that some of the other things that bothered me about her driving could also be traced back to me.  While cruising down the road, wind-surfing out the window with one hand and controlling the wheel with the other, I remembered the times I’d ask her, “Why do you keep taking one of your hands off of the wheel - that’s dangerous.  There.  Good girl, both hands.”  Once she even told me that she just wanted to hang it out the window.  I told her there was nothing out there for it, so put it back on the wheel.

Funny how, when it’s our beloved children that’ll be driving, we do everything short of putting a helmet on them.

Anyway, the whole thing made me think.  People, watch us daily - whether we know it or not.  And it’s, of course, not just our children who are keeping an eye on us. It’s something to kind of tuck away and keep in mind. 

They watch our driving (horrors), our temperment, our manners, our character, the way we relate to people, etc.  Our actions either betray our words or back them up.

For example:

• If we tell people that we’re laid back and cool, then we flirt with road rage if one car pulls out in front of us - we’re lying to ourselves as well as everyone else.
• If we tell people that we’re kind and helpful, yet we never do so much as one thing to help another person - we might have a skewered definition of the words kind and helpful.
• If we tell people they should respect us, we might need to think again.  I saw a t-shirt last week that read, “If you have to DEMAND respect, you haven’t EARNED it.“  Incredibly, profoundly true.
• If we tell someone else that they have a problem with their temper, yet we’re the ones who are always into it with someone - we’re making a fool out of ourselves.

The point is, people are watching you and they’re watching me.  We can say and write whatever we want to. We all possess vocabularies consisted of countless words.  Anyone can arrange them to create any thought or statement they want to.  I could say that I weigh the same amount as Keira Knightley and that I’m completely fed up with not being able to put on weight, no matter how many trips I make to Dairy Queen. I can say that the dipped cones never show up anywhere on my body, unless, of course some drips onto my little Keira-sized hands  - but it doesn’t make it any of it anywhere near the truth.  Oh, that it were.  DQ wouldn’t have enough chocolate to sustain me. 

Every now and then, take a good look in the mirror as the soundtrack of your words plays in the background.  Are they in agreement or so out of tune that it makes you laugh?  If the words are setting the bar beautifully high, hold your actions accountable.  Your words are creating the YOU that YOU desire to be.

Now start living up to them.

Ever feel draggy and out of sorts? Like your normal, upbeat mood has BEEN beaten with a crowbar?

It happens to all of us every now and again - and usually we can’t put our droopy finger on the why’s or the what’s.  All we know is that if our mood had a color, it’d be gray.

One of my daughters put her own spin on it once as she came through the kitchen.  I asked her how she was doing and she said, “I think my face has forgotten how to smile today.”  Draggy.

Whenever your face has forgotten how to smile, try one of the Ten Mood LIfters below.  You’ll get an instant lift and your face might just forget how to frown.

1. Go outside.  A little fresh air, combined with natural sunlight is a sure-fire Pick-Me-Up.  Even if it’s smack in the middle of winter, bundle up and walk around your yard for about 10 minutes.  There’s something invigorating about the outdoors and it’s a quick cure for the droops.
2. Take a stretching break. Stand up and stretch your hands toward the ceiling, then bend over and touch the floor.  Next, stretch slowly from side to side.  Repeat the entire cycle several times - breathing deeply the entire time.  It’ll refresh your mind and mood.
3. Take deep breaths.  If you’re unable to stretch OR move outdoors, just concentrate on your breathing.  Take exaggerated breaths in - then take exaggerated breaths out.
4. If possible, elevate your heart with a little exercise.  Aerobic activity is one of the best ways to slap a good mood on your psyche.  Take a walk, pick up sticks in your yard, or clean your house with gusto.  Get mooving and grooving!  If you do it with some really upbeat music, the effects will be even better.
5. Recall a time when you couldn’t stop laughing.  It was probably a time when laughter was unacceptable, right?!  That usually seems to be the case.  In high school, my best friend, Randy, and I would break out into fits of laughter all the time.  Sometimes we’d be on the phone and there’d be no sound at all except laughter for 5 minutes.  When we thought we had it under control, one of us would fall victim to the giggles again, then the other would crack up.  I can still hear the sound of his laugh in my head and it still makes me smile. He’d love to make me laugh at the most ridiculous times - in the middle of class was his favorite opportunity.  He got me so bad once during a college lecture that I thought I’d pass out.  Actually, passing out would have been less embarassing!
6.  Watch a favorite sitcom, stand-up routine or movie.  Laughter really is the best medicine, especially when it’s your mood that needs a remedy.  If you can’t get to a television, don’t underestimate YouTube.  If you enter “Dane Cook,” you’ll be mere minutes away from having a party in your seat.
7. Change things up!  If you’re able to, change what you’re wearing.  Brush your hair, brush your teeth, and even wash your face.  Your mind “gets” that you’re trying to start fresh and it welcomes the idea.  If you’re at work, straighten up your desk, readjust your clothes - maybe even untie and tie (or unbuckle and buckle) your shoes.  You know how you “refresh” a webpage if it hasn’t “loaded” properly?  Same premise.  Refresh and try again!
8. Talk to someone who lifts your spirits.  All of us have at least one person who seems to make our life a better place just by being around. They always seem to know what to say and what not to say. Their attitude and humor act as a tonic.  If you’re feeling low, search them out - take them to lunch or out for coffee. Let them work their magic on you.
9. Do something special for yourself. Whether it’s a trip to Starbucks or a bouquet of flowers (some days call for both), do something that’ll bring a smile to your face.
10. Do something special for someone else.  I saved the best for last. When you bring a smile to someone else’s face, it’s impossible to feel anything but joy and happiness.  By the same token, making your cat purr or your dog wag its tail will also bring about great contentment.  When you create happiness for others, you create it for yourself as well.

If malice or envy were tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang. - Charly Reese

Said another way, nastiness always comes back and usually hits you in the face.  Sadly, we often stand there, dazed, wondering how such a thing could happen to US.  Oh the unfairness of it all!

Like a boomerang, though, the things that often come back to us originated in that very spot.

In Charley Reese’s quote, the words “malice and envy” could just as easily be replaced with other traits.

For example, the statements below are just as true as the one above:

If rudeness was tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang.

If anger was tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang.

If suspicion was tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang.

If laziness was tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang.

If selfishness were tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang.

If dishonesy was tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang.

By the same token…

If generosity were tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang.

If honesty was tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang.

If kindness was tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang.

If thoughtfulness were tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang.

It’s the same lesson we try to teach our children, and the same lesson God tries to teach His. You get back what you give out. Right in the middle of a Barbie marathon, I once overheard our oldest daughter, Emily, talking to her younger sisters. Emily was 5 which would have made Brittany and Stephany 4 and 2. I’m not sure what Britt and Steph had done to earn their lecture, but from the kitchen I heard Emily telling them, “If you do good stuff, you get good stuff. If you do bad stuff, you get bad stuff.”

A few minutes later, Brittany left the living room. The pressure must’ve been too much for her.

Emily’s phrasing became a catch phrase for me and my girls.

All of us KNOW, I suppose, the truth of this lesson when it comes to actions we take. But we often fail to realize just how true it is when it comes to the way we treat others. In a very real sense, we’re the author of our life’s script. We totally control (or fail to control) the things we say, the places we go, and the way we treat others. When we make these decisions, whether we realize it or not, we dictate what others will say to us and how they will treat us.

I just have to call someone out for something extra kind and thoughtful they did recently. Steph’s boyfriend (who I adore, btw!) was at our house this weekend. They had been watching a movie and he’d fallen asleep on the couch. Like all young boys, all it takes to sleep is the body being still for 5 minutes. My husband was outside mowing when he noticed that one of Sleeping Cutie’s tires was nearly flat. He took it off the car and took it to be patched up, then brought it back and put it back on the car.

The thoughtfulness meant a lot to Steph’s boyfriend, but I’m sure it meant even more to Steph. It’s always a great feeling when your parents are ridiculously cool. And what he did was a ridiculously cool thing and I’m all kinds of proud of him for it.

It makes you wonder what the world would be like if more people went out of their way to be kind and thoughtful for others. Not for recognition, not for glory, not for anything except the chance to be…well… cool.

It’s just something to think about this week. Treat everyone around you as nicely and kindly as humanly possible. Be thoughtful and go out of your way to make other people smile.

But whatever you do - you’d better watch out. What you throw out will come back to you. As someone once said, “If you do good stuff, you get good stuff. If you do bad stuff, you get bad stuff.” So if you make it your mission to send out a lot of good, you’re going to get a lot of good flying back at you!

It occurs to me that I might have too many notebooks.  I’m a notebook fiend. Yesterday, when I was in Target, I started to buy a few simply because they looked so fresh and inviting.  I just love notebooks! I have them in three different rooms of our house - the living room, the office, the kitchen.  I guess my thinking is that I’ll be ready when inspiration strikes or I’ll be good to go when I’m ready to wax brilliant.

Alas, these moments don’t happen that often.  They certainly don’t happen often enough to warrant all of these notebooks. Oh, if only they did.

I was cleaning out one of the masses out last night and, as I often do, I came across the beginings of a  post.  I especially love to find a few lines that show how I was worked up over something.  Once, I found a page that said, “I am so freaking annoyed with humanity today I -” It left off there.  I either got over myself really fast, or went on a homicidal binge.

Someone once told me they loved how I didn’t take myself seriously.  How could I ?!

Anyway, the sentences I came across last night read, “Well, it’s July 1st already, you know what that means.”  When I read it, I asked my cat Alexa, “What does it mean?”  Her response was the same as always, “Please feed me or give me something to destroy.”

Then it hit me.  I was starting a post about the Halfway mark of 2008.  I’m sure I was going to mother you about your New Year’s Resolutions - ask you how you’re progressing.  Me?  I’m not sure I want to talk about my resolutions.  I haven’t exactly been hitting them out of the ballpark. 

To be fair to myself, though, life has been particularly cute this year. Aside from our oldest cat losing her site (poor baby), the rest of the problems have just been typcial, feisty stuff - broken washers, multiple freaky car malfunctions, problems with our internet service, having to move to a larger server (more headaches than Tylenol could hope to control), dead coffee makers, the list goes on but if I do, I’ll get depressed.  Suffice to say, life has hurled everything but the proverbial kitchen sink.

Oh, great, I just tempted fate.  This one’s gonna hurt.

I’m going to call my New Year’s Resolutions together for a meeting this afternoon.  It shouldn’t take too long to find them, they’re in one of about 69 notebooks.   It’s actually just a list of goals and “visions” - and, truth be told, I’ve already taken care of quite a few.  I’ve redesigned, revamped, and redone websites and blogs that I’d chosen for makeovers.  I had written down 10 that I wanted to redo before the year was out, and I only have 1 left. 

I’m also sailing along on the goal I set to feed my family healthier meals.  I’m still working on getting them to jump on the green tea bandwagon with me, but they eat their increased fruits and veggies like champs.  I’ve also stopped adding artificial sweetener to my coffee and tea.  I thought that one would be my undoing, but I’m actually drinking coffee black, now, and I prefer it like this.  No more extra calories with whipping cream or half and half and no more extra calories from sugar or extra risks with artificial sweetener.

I’ll take any victory - great or small!

As for the number of books I wanted to have read, I’m waaaaay off schedule.  I read more than the average person, but for a web publisher, I feel like I need to read more.

I’m also frightfully far from the walking guidelines I set for myself.  Apparently my mind and feet got together and convinced themselves that I was only kidding about this one. 

If you have physical proof of your resolutions or just a mental recollection, gather them around the table for a meeting this afternoon.  Find what areas you’re doing well in, what areas you’re doing “okay” in and what areas (like my walking) you’ve totally checked out on.

You may find, as I did, that you need more balance.  It doesn’t take a genius to look at the good, the bad, and the ugly of my list and realize that I’m giving more attention to my web publishing world than I am to my fitness regime……and the crowd yells, “WHAT fitness regime?!”  Obnoxious mob. But they’re right.

Someone needs more balance.  Looking at our weaknesses is never any fun, but improving ourselves is.  The thing is, we can never have the latter without the former.  Two years ago, my resolutions were totally opposite.  I walked every single day and actually got my asthma under total control for the first time in my life.  I was up to two miles a day without even getting short of breath. For someone who, growing up, was in the hospital an average of three times a year with chronic asthma, that’s verrrrry good.  My online world was smaller - fewer sites, fewer blogs, fewer things to maintain.  Less work, basically.

Now I just have to find a way to bring both worlds together and balance them out.

It can be done, of course. I just have to make out a schedule and stick to it.   Let me just find a notebook…

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Studies indicate a lack of sleep can be dangerous, causing significant mental impairment.

While looking through the newest issue of SUCCESS Magazine, the statement above pretty much jumped off the page and got in my face. Apparently it knows how much caffeine I drink, so it harassed me a little bit.

The article, “Sleep Your Way to Success,” by Lisette Hilton is a great read - albeit alarming (ironic pun intended). The author points out a very hard truth - most of us are sleep deprived. We’re filling out our to do lists so ambitiously that we neglect to figure in time for sleep.

We’re not doing ourselves any favors by skimping on sleep. In fact, as the article stresses, we’re doing ourselves a whole world of harm. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends that most of us get between 7 and 8 hours of sleep each night. Sleeping less than this (on a regular basis) is associated with:

• Diabetes
• Stroke
• Hypertension
• Cardiovascular Disease
• A Shorter Life Span
• Weight Problems

At least one study suggested that decreased sleep time could lead, years later, to greater weight gain. - SUCCESS Magazine August/September 2008

The article included some great ways to improve your REM time or Quality of Sleep. A few are listed below:

1. Establish a relaxing bedtime routine.
2. Try to keep regular sleep and wake hours.
3. Get enough exercise durning the day but not too close to bedtime.
4. Get regular sunlight (or bright light) during the day

For more sleep tips, grab a copy of the August/September issue of SUCCESS Magazine and visit SUCCESS.com - Sleep Your Way to Success.   In the newest issue of the magazine (on page 26, to be exact!), you can find detailed information on how a lack of sleep leads to heart problems, immune deficiency, weight gain, and memory problems.

My husband and I love old books and magazines. He hunts for them on eBay, fights to outbid the other hunters, then pays for the conquest. Me? Well, of course I have a role in the process.

I enjoy them.

We recently played out our given roles with an amazing set of NAUTILUS MAGAZINE OF NEW THOUGHT issues. These particular issues are from 1921 and, considering their age, they’re in remarkable shape.

The articles have been interesting, but the ads are where the real entertainment is.  For example, the ad I have in front of me reads:

FACES MADE YOUNG

The secret of a youthful face will be sent to any woman whose appearance shows that time or illness or any other cause is stealing from her the charm of girlhood beauty. It will show without cosmetics, creams, massage, masks, plasters, straps, vibrators, “beauty” treatments or other artificial means, she can remove the traces of age from her countenance. Every woman, young or middle aged, who has a single facial defect should know about these remarkable Beauty Exercises which remove lines and “crows feet” and wrinkles; fill up hollows; give roundness to scrawny necks; lift up sagging corners of the mouth and clear up muddy or sallow skins. It will show how five minutes daily with Kathryn Murray’s simple facial exercises will work wonders….

It goes on to give a Results Guaranteed (although it doesn’t say exactly what results can be expected) and an address to write to.

You’re probably thinking what I am - Some things just never change. Even in 1921 people were looking for easy answers and it really didn’t matter if the problem was a scrawny neck or something even more dire.

We always want the quick fix - and if anyone baits the hook with enough pretty promises, we bite.

The problem is, of course, that most things in life simply aren’t that simple.

I noticed something else about the ads that was interesting. The same concerns we have today? They were the same ones our ancestors had in the 20’s. 

Other ads included:

• Do You Desire to Prolong Your Life?  Live and Grow Young….
• My Hair WAS Quite Gray….
• Luxuriant Hair - Don’t dye old hair, but grow new hair, of normal color, and eradicate dandruff, baldness, falling hair and other ills, by THE LIFE WAY METHOD.
• You Can Weigh What You Should….
• Mr. Landone Made Me Worth $9100 More…

 I don’t know why, but it just fascinates me that these same topics can be found in magazine ads today.  We’re always wanting to find what we’ve lost, lost what we’ve found, or find what we’ve never had.  Goals, dreams, and self improvement are all admirable - quite admirable, in fact.  As long as we don’t let them get in the way of living our lives right now. 

Sometimes we get so sidetracked by what we want that we forget to appreciate what we have.  We think, “If I could just lose 20 pounds…then I’d be happy.”  Or, “If my hair weren’t running away from my face at an alarming speed, I’d be really happy…”  Then, of course, there’s the belief that more money is our ticket to happiness.

Let’s be honest, happiness doesn’t lie in money, hair, or smaller sizes.  It doesn’t lie in fancier cars or larger houses.  Is it wrong to want these things?  Of course not!  Is it wrong to work toward the finer things in life? No way!

We just have to watch out for two pitfalls. 

1. We have to be careful not to get our eyes SO set on what we want that we neglect what we have. I think it’s always healthy to look around at your life and find the things you love - things that you wouldn’t take anything in the world for.   People who just think about and talk about what they want to change are miserable people, and almost as miserable to be around.  Contentment is a very attractive trait.
2. We must realize that the answer to our problems isn’t always a simple one.  It doesn’t come wrapped in a satin bow.  Quite the contrary.  If we want more money, we’ll have to work smarter, harder, and possibly longer.  If we want to lose weight, we’ll have to change the way we eat and add more activity to our days. 

These priceless, charmingly adorable ads can be viewed larger by clicking on the thumbnails.  You have to read these - they’re classic.

Have a great week!