Self Help

Get over the idea that only children should spend their time in study. Be a student so long as you still have something to learn, and this will mean all your life. - Henry L. Doherty

Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. - Chinese Proverb

I don’t think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday. - Abraham Lincoln

No matter how one may think himself accomplished, when he sets out to learn a new language, science, or the bicycle, he has entered a new realm as truly as if he were a child newly born into the world. - Frances Willard

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. - Henry Ford

We learn more by looking for the answer to a question and not finding it than we do from learning the answer itself. - Lloyd Alexander

“Back to School” is, I think, an exciting time. Kids of all ages set out to learn new things - things that’ll open up new worlds to them. If that’s not exciting, nothing is. Equally exciting is the fact that we can embark on the same sort of quest for knowledge. And we never have to leave the comfort of our own home to do so! Click HERE for ideas on stretching yourself, mentally.

Always a stretch worth taking, right?

Buy at AllPosters.com

We all need positive feedback!

I’m about halfway through a wonderful book, How to Think Like a Millionaire (the review will be up before the weekend).  It’s one of those books where you find yourself, not only taking notes, but closing the book every now and again just to sort of soak everything in.  After this morning’s reading, I was a sponge - I guess it made me Sponge Blogger No Pants (I still had my gown on).    

I just finished a section on Positive Feedback vs Negative Feedback and the impact they have upon our subconscious mind and the absolute power our subconscious mind has over our lives.  Everything rises and falls according to the strength of our subconscious mind, so keeping positive and life-affirming thoughts therein could make ALL the difference.

The Live-Changing Power of Positive Feedback

When I got up from reading to make my husband some pancakes, I was still thinking about what I read.  I realized how, in my own life, positive feedback had a huge impact on me.  My mom and dad were forever telling me what a “good” child I was, how they never had to worry about me getting into trouble, and so on.  That early reinforcement, I’m sure, had a great deal to do with the fact that I never did get into any trouble.  When I was in my 30’s, a few months before I lost my father - my dad told one of his nurses that the only trouble I ever gave him or my mom was one speeding ticket.

I told him at the time that it was because I was perfect - but I’m pretty darn sure that’s not accurate.

I believe that the same scenario plays out for kids who are constantly told that they’re “bad,” “difficult,” or “spoiled.”  They live down to those words the way the lucky kids live up to the ones they hear.

As the pancake batter soaked up the buttermilk, I realized another area where positive feedback affected me.  I believe that one of the reasons I ever fancied myself a writer had to do with things my aunt told me years and years ago.  Penny (my mom’s sister and an aunt I’ve always been VERY close to) and her husband (Bobby - LOVE him!) had to move to another state when I was really young.  It was really hard on all of us, but Bobby had an amazing offer in Ohio that he would have been a fool to say no to.  He’s the master of corny jokes, but a fool he’s not!

When they left, I missed them terribly, so we started writing a lot of letters to one another - oh, to have e-mail then!  When they came home for Christmas, she went on and on about how much my letters meant to her and Bobby.  She said she always looked forward to them and saved each one.  When she said they “made her smile” because they were like visiting with me, I began to associate true power with words.

Many years later, when I got married and we had to move to Kansas, I had a lot more letters to write.  I still wrote to Penny, but I also wrote to my parents and my grandmother.  Each one of them always told me how much they loved reading my letters, how they kept them and often re-read them.  My grandmother even told me how she read them to her friends, and that they enjoyed my “way with words”.

Somewhere along the way, I came to believe they were right and I’ve had a fascination with words and writing every since.

When I handed my smiling husband his plate of pancakes, I was struck by yet another instance of positive feedback touching and shaping my life.  Early in my marriage, I fell in love with cooking.  I started collecting cookbooks and even began coming up with my own recipes.  When he was in the Air Force, he’d often have his single friends over to our house for supper.  I often overheard him talking about my “wonderful” cooking and it made me believe I was the greatest cook in the world.  The fact that he and our daughters are always so complimentary about my meals, desserts, bread, etc. only makes me love cooking more and more.

I am very, very lucky that the people I love most in this world have always made me feel like I could do anything.

A Lack of Positive Feedback

I wonder if one of the main reasons people become discouraged and give up is because they don’t get enough positive feedback. Think about the stereotypical scenario of the couple who has been together for several years. She begins to feel he doesn’t love her or think she’s pretty simply because he has stopped saying the words. The positive feedback, early in the relationship, built her confidence up SO high that when the words stopped, she came crashing down, bewildered and even wondering what she’s doing wrong.

The same could be said of children, co-workers, and just about anyone you could name. Children often “give up” becaue they don’t feel appreciated. Co-workers and friends get to the point that they quit trying because nothing they do is ever “good enough.”

The Pitfalls of Negative Feedback

The only thing more dangerous than a lack of positive feedback is a steady stream of negative feedback. When a spouse, daughter, son, friend, co-worker, etc. only hears negative comments - they begin to believe the words and come to believe that they are as worthless as the comments say they are. Many even tune the negativity out to a certain degree, after all, who wants to constantly hear how worthless, stupid, wrong, irresponsible, or bad they are?!?! But it goes much deeper than them tuning it out. They begin to believe it. When someone believes the worst about themself, they stop even trying.

However, if they get positive feedback - even if it’s for the smallest possible thing - their confidence and self worth begin to grow. After they’ve gotten enough positive feedback, they begin to give themselves MORE of the same feedback, then… look out!
 

The Most Important Feedback of All

As important as the feedback we get from others is, it’s not the most vital feedback. That feedback is the one we feed ourselves. The words we say to ourselves, usually inside our own minds, determine how successful we will or will not be. We are, basically, what we think we are.

The words below are just some of the words we use to cripple ourselves:

• I’m too old
• I’m too fat
• I’m not smart enough
• I never catch any breaks
• I don’t have enough money
• Nobody loves me
• I’m lonely
• I can’t do anything
• I’m so depressed
• I am so sick and tired of…
• My live sucks!

When we feed ourselves words like this, we’re feeding ourselves poison, and we should kick ourselves.  If we feed words like that to another human being, we should be stomped.

Start thinking more about the feedback you give to others and to yourself.  The words you say to and about the people around you makes them better or makes them worse.  If you beat them down, that’s where they’ll stay.  If you build them up, that’s the direction in which they’ll grow. 

Now let’s change the pronouns a little:  If you beat yourself down, that’s where you’ll stay.  If you build yourself up, that’s the direction in which you’ll grow.  How far can you and I grow?  As far as we want to!

Sweeeeet.

Geez Louise.  I’d like to take a moment and praise the brilliant mind who created Calmine lotion.  The pink gook has probably preserved my sanity.  For over a week, I’ve had a horribly itchy rash thanks to poison oak - arms, face, legs, stomach.  Wheeeee.  To compound the misery, I have horrible allergies and they’re taking great exception to the whole thing.

Just a little advice - if you have outdoor pets that roam through fields and God only knows where, always wash your arms and hands after holding them.  Even if they show no signs of it (because their skin’s different than ours), they could have the oil from evil plants on them. 

When we pick them up and tell them how beautiful they are, how we love them, and coo the very wind out of them, we could unknowingly be sealing our fate.

And it itches like a mo fo.

I was much too smart to think of immediately washing my hands or arms after carrying my cats around and playing with them.  I also waxed brilliant by scratching the rash on my right arm so much that it got infected.  Such a clever girl.

A few nights ago, I heard some pretty dramatic words come spilling out of my mouth - “Oh, this is just hell.“  Fortunately, the only ears nearby were those of my two male cats, Bo and Svenn.  (The latter was actually the carrier…the cat carrier. Haha.)  As far as my boys know, poison oak is a legitimate form of hell, so they didn’t see anything wrong with me calling it that.  However, I know better.

So would prisoners of war, burn victims, cancer patients, grieving family members, amputees, etc.  I was an itchy, scratching, sneezing, mess but was it hell?  Hardly.

A few nights before, one of my daughters had told me about one of her friend’s mother.  She was, out of the blue, diagnosed with Bell’s Palsy.  She’d have a right to say the words I had no right to say.

It made me think about a lot of the things that come out of our mouths.  For example, when we say that someone is torturing us - that’s really a word we shouldn’t even consider using.  It should be saved for a much, much larger stage.  POWs could tell us all about the word, if we really wanted to know.  We don’t.

How about “I never catch any breaks?” - If someone lives in a free country, has a roof over their head, has at least one person who loves them, can see, hear, speak, and walk, are able to read and write, are healthy more often than they’re sick, and know where their next meal is coming from - they didn’t just catch more breaks than most people in the world - they’re blessed beyond reason.

We’ve got it so good, and have had it so good for so long that sometimes we forget just how good we’ve got it!

How about when we determine that life just isn’t fair.  If WE were to be fair, life doesn’t just randomly happen to us.  If I were given $2,000 and told to live off of it for two months and blew it all within one month - life didn’t step on my foot, I stepped on my own.  (I’ve got the bruised toes to prove it!)

More times than not - life isn’t unfair to us- it gives us, pretty much, what we ask for.

Whether we’re playing to an audience of one human, several humans, two cats, or just ourselves - we should keep a close watch on what comes out of our mouths.  We can make our negative situation(s) larger than they should be, smaller than they should be - or treat them just as they are:  Something that must be faced, dealt with, and endured.  Depending upon the situation, we should try to find the humor in it.  Several times, I’ve thought of myself as a super hero of sorts - a leopard with pink spots. Thing is, I haven’t any powers!

I am more thankful than I can say that poison oak is the nastiest thing in my life right now.   - The Pink Leopard

As I said in a recent post, I’ve really been enjoying the Olympic Games.  My youngest daughter and I have actually missed very little.  My husband, who is generally in another room getting his whole baseball thing on, does show up for the swimming, but that’s about it.  When the gymnasts start tumbling, he heads back to the diamond.

Good Will Hunting

A few things have struck me during the Summer Games.  There are so many lessons to be taken away from these athletes as well as from the Games, themselves.  On a large, grand scale - how amazing would it be if the “one world” philosophy generated during the Games stuck.  Unfortunately, it’s a lot like Chirstmas. The good will and warmth sort of fade away in time.  While it lasts, though, it’s really special to see athletes from other countries high-fiving one another.  I was especially touched when, following a heartbreaking missed opportunity, the US Ladies Gymnastics team had to “settle” for Silver.  When it was apparent that Gold was out of reach, Shawn Johnson sat smiling during the Chinese gymnasts breathtaking routines. She seemed to just, genuinely, be in love with the moment.  She wasn’t bitter toward the Chinese girls -she seemed to be enjoying their performances. That just may be my favorite moment of these games so far and will be an image I’ll always remember.

As a side note, even though beautiful little Alicia Sacramone had  a few untimely errors - let’s be honest, the Chinese girls were so alarmingly “on” during the floor exercises, we wouldn’t have beaten them anyway!  No one could have touched them with the night they were having.  We “lost” by more points than Alicia cost and I just hope that one bad night won’t ruin the entire experience for this talented young gril. 

Glory Road

We can all learn a thing or two from these remarkable athletes. Each one is a lesson in perseverance, determination, and ambition. The Olympic athlete sets his or her eyes on a goal and trains for it as though their life depeds on it. The only way to be the best in the world is to work harder than the rest of the world.

Granted, most of us (in our daily conquests) aren’t up against the world. We’re up against ourselves more than anyone else. Unfortunatley that’s the most potent opponent of all. Who else knows our strengths and weaknesses better?!

Yet if we worked toward our goal with the single-minded determination of an Olympic athlete - as though our life depended upon success - we’d rock our own world. If we looked at our dreams the way Michael Phelps looks at the opposite end of the pool…as though nothing will get between where we are and where we’re going… I think we’d cause as big a stir as Mr. Phelps.

No matter what our teachers may have told us, we actually have to get more D’s: Dreams, Discipline, Determination, Drive, Desire, and Dedication.

Lord of the Rings

Finally, while we all have our minds on GOLD, SILVER or BRONZE during the Olympics - if you think about it, there are no losers. If an athlete has worked hard, trained long hours, and made necessary sacrifices to make their dream a reality - he or she has already won and won big!

The same can be said of us. Look back in time - oh, I don’t know, let’s say 4 years ago? I’m sure you can find areas of your life where you’ve improved and made great strides forward. Think about what you did to bring it all about. You worked hard, stayed focused, and pushed your boundaries back a little bit more each day, right? You go, you!

Now think of areas you’d like to have similar success in. Maybe you have gotten yourself in good physical shape and now you’d like to work more on the shape of your finances. Or, vice-versa. Me? I’m too physically fit for my own good and have way too much money. (I just slapped you silly with sarcasm.) Look at the path(s) you took to achieve success in one area and apply them to the other.

Just think about it, this time 4 years from now, when we’re talking about Michael Phelps again, you could be in the best physical shape of your life. Your business or career could be thriving. You could have thousands of dollars in the bank - just sitting there, waiting for you to wax amazing with it. Your relationships could all be close and as strong as a gymnast’s arms. Your mental fitness could be better than ever, etc.

Last but far from least, four years from now, will you be able to say that you made the world a better place - for at least one other person?  What good would you have accomplished?  Will you have made a difference or left your mark on the world in any way?   Starting today, broaden your horizon - it’s the only way to open your world.

You can make your dreams come true if you work toward them the way an athlete workd toward theirs: As though their life depends upon success.

“I think that everything is possible as long as you put your mind to it and you put the work and time into it. I think your mind really controls everything.” - Michael Phelps

People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. - Unknown

The thought of someone being lonely makes me incredibly sad. I can’t imagine how absolutely horrible loneliness must feel. Being an only child, you’d think I’d have some idea of lonely, but pets, friends, and family (not necessarily in that order!) more than made up for a shortage of siblings.

The quote above certainly doesn’t apply to everyone who’s lonely. After all, the elderly often find themselves alone simply because they’ve had the “good fortune” of outliving their friends and spouse. If they don’t have compassionate, loving family members nearby, their days must be unbearably long.

This quote has another group of people in mind. Those who have bickered, nitpicked, stirred up trouble, and sought out strife most of their life. The crowd who no one seems to ever be able to do enough for. The ones who want “this person” to be at odds with “that person” and everyone to hate the other one. After all, what better way to rise above the crowd than to have everyone hating one another. Right? Wrong.

Without realizing it, they’re putting up walls - closing everybody out, while shutting themselves inside, alone. It doesn’t take long before they find themselves so lonely that the things that once bothered them about these other people now seem so incredibly trivial. They wonder why they didn’t have sense enough to realize that the people in our lives are our greatest treasures. Houses, cars, boats, purses, jewelry, furniture - none of that matters. Not one of them hugs back or laughs at your jokes. I’ve never had one greet me at the back door when I’ve been away and tell me they’d just put a cup of coffee on. Not even my favorite purse.

We can all agree that the people in our lives are everything to us. But do we treat them that way? Do we try to foster harmony and happiness - with fat doses of humor thrown in? Do we put our own needs AFTER theirs? Do we tell them every chance we get that we love them so much it makes our head swim?

If you think you have so much as one wall in your life - tear it down today. It’d make a perfect spot for a bridge, don’t you think?

“Life is a joke. The only way to survive it is to find the right punchline.” - Becky Alunan

A few months ago, it struck me just how important it is to have a sense of humor.  My husband and I had looked forward (literally for months) to a particular event.  When the big day finally arrived, we were like cats in a field of catnip.  I bought a great new purple top and we drove out of town to where the “next big thing” was going down.  Okay, okay, so buying a new pink or purple top isn’t that out of the norm for me, but still…

Our first stop was to eat a nice dinner out, of course. So we took the new purple top into a restaurant that’s normally flawless.  If I’m lucky….if I’m really lucky… my stomach may one day forgive me.  They may have turned me against food forever.

So, we laughed that off - knowing the dinner wasn’t the big deal of the evening anyway.  We were on our way to that!

We should have stayed at the restaurant.

Months of anticipation, money that could have paid for more Starbucks trips than I care to calculate, and a great purple top all for naught.  Yet, on the way home, all we could do was laugh about it.  Oh, yeah, it just struck us as terribly funny.

Isn’t it strange the way things happen sometimes?  You see a movie or show that you really hadn’t thought much about and BAM it knocks your world off its axis.  Then you look forward to something for two forevers and boing  it bounces off the radar.

Oh well.  New top, good visit with the spouse, good laughs.  Hard to call it a bad evening.

During the ride home, it occurred to me just how important humor is.  It’s the secret behind taking life’s lemons and making lemonade - the missing ingredient, as it were.

I had a really bad burn on my arm one time, courtesy of a grill that decided to shut on me.  It hurt 24/7 like the devil, itself, was running up and down my arm.  The only time it didn’t hurt was when I had aloe vera gel on it.  When the burn was exposed to the elements without the aloe vera gel, it was excruciating.  It felt like the tortures of the damned. 

But as long as my cold, comforting salve was on it, everything was as beautiful and right as Halle Berry’s face…and, well, eveything Halle Berry possesses.

A sense of humor is like a comforting salve.  It’ll protect you from the burns of life - as long as you remember to put it on.  So always keep it nearby, you never know when you’ll need to apply it liberally.

Some of My Favorite Quotes about Humor:

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. - Wystan Hugh Auden

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. - Sir Francis Bacon

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself. - Ethel Barrymore

Some people are so dry that you might soak them in a joke for a month and it would not get through their skins. - Henry Ward Beecher

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. - Francis Bacon

There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor. - Thomas W. Higginson

Want more Quotes about Humor?

I’m a student of people and their behavior.   Whether it’s a rude person I encounter online or a sweet, talkative girl in the Ritzy’s drive thru (with an adorable Canadian accent I could have listened to all day), people fascinate me.

I’ve noticed a few changes lately in temperment.  I realize it’s ridiculous to talk in generalities, so let me preface it by saying that these observations don’t mean that EVERYONE (thanks be to God!) is falling victim to these traits.  Just enough people to make it noticable.  Actually, if the bad traits still “stand out,” they must still be out of the norm.  Maybe if they’re caught early enough, the tide can turn.

Rudeness

So many people have become so rude and inconsiderate that they’re looking less and less human. How about the celebrities that spout off insesitive opinions that aren’t just ridiculous, they’re downright hurtful? They come across as though they haven’t an ounce of tact or consideration whatsoever. Personally, if i were a reporter, I’d find someone else to interview. The minute Mr. Famous or Ms. Famous started talking nonesense, I’d stand up and leave. Nothing there I’d want.

It’s not just celebs, of course. There are also the rude drivers, shoppers, workers, etc. To say nothing of the people you run across online! Wow.

Thankfully, kind people still outnumber the jerks. About a week ago, on my Cat Blog I wrote about my 20 year old cat, Prissy (who I, of course, love to pieces). She has gone blind, recently suffered a seizure, and just isn’t in the best of shape. I’m losing my girl and any pet lover knows what that feels like. I’ve gotten multiple e-mails from the sweetest people in the world. The fact that they’d take the time to e-mail me and tell me their own stories and offer words and quotes of encouragement touches me deeply.

Amongst all of the cranks, it’s good to see that plenty of hearts haven’t been hardened.

Selfishness

Another trait that’s becoming rampant is selfishness. Fewer people will go out of their way to help another person than ever. I’ll be the first to say that everyone should try very hard to help themselves, hence the name of my blog: Self Help Daily. But sometimes that’s just not possible. It hurts to see so many people wrapped up in their own world that they can’t even see other people’s needs.

Work-a-haulics

Due to the economy, it seems that a lot of people are working themselves into a fevered pitch. They’re trying to do half a million things at once (maybe that explains the cranks). There’s nothing wrong, of course, with pushing yourself to get the most from life. The thing is, very often when you’re pushing yourself, you’re pushing others around you who…well…don’t want to be pushed! When we overestimate all that we can conceivably do, we start handing out our “to do’s” to other people. It’s as though we take our own to do list and tear it into fourths. We know we can’t do all of it, so we hand it out to others - basically creating their to do lists for them. As though they don’t have their own lists!

When we get to that point, it’s either time to barter for favors with them, or realize that we’re spreading ourselves way too thin.

I started thinking about these Human To Do lists when I read about a woman who was furious with her husband for not doing everything she’d left on his “list.” When asked why she thought he didn’t get to them, she said he’d “probably blame it on” the fact that he had two jobs. Probably!

It may sound like a line from Little House on the Prairie, and for that I apologize, but we should all remind ourselves of the Golden Rule. We should treat others the way we’d want to be treated. No ifs. No ands. No buts. And certainly no butt’s.

* The Rude Cat Art Print can be bought online.

Why in the world do we often fall prey to the same demons time and time again?! I mean, once we gain a little ground on them, wouldn’t you think we’d never go back?  Don’t reasonable people learn from their mistakes and never make the same one ever again.

Absolutely.  In Fairy Tales.

The problem is, we’re all predisposed to certain pitfalls of life.  Some people are wired to have outrageous mood swings.  They can be laughing and joking one minute and angrily searching out a confrontation the next.  Others (*Who, Me?*) are careless and footloose with money, then stare in wide-eyed wonder at the cobwebs in their piggy bank.

Some people procrastinate, seemingly for a living.  They’re so good at putting things off that it’s a wonder they manage to get anything done.  Their opposites are just as amusing, they are so hyper-busy, I’m convinced that they don’t actually fall asleep at night.  I think their family gets annoyed with them and knocks them out.

The bottom line:   All of the bad traits in the world have multiple owners and we have the title to at least two of them. 

I can accept that.  I’ve come to expect my bad traits and habits to make themselves known on a daily basis.  It’s a game we’ve played for many years.  Keeps life interesting, I guess.  But what I absolutely can’t stand is when these traits get the better of me and I trip over them - falling into a pit…  A pit that’s all too familiar to me.  I know I’ve been there before, I see pink fuzz on the ground from my houseshoes and, what’s that I smell?  Coffee?  Oh, yeah, I’ve been here before.

We (Notice how I pulled you into the pit with me? - Oh, come on, I’ll share my coffee…)  keep doing the same things we’ve been doing, expecting the outcome to be different this time.  Someone once said that was “crazy” and this would be me not exactly disagreeing.

Back in January, I started walking more and eating smarter.  I wanted to lose some weight that I’m not entirely happy with.  January through April went smoothly and the pounds were really dropping.  When I went to the doctor in April for my annual poking and prodding, my doctor even noticed the difference. I saw my goal weight in sight, so close I could touch it.

I was flying high!

Today, not so much.  I noticed this morning that the pounds I had lost (every single one) had come back over May,  June and July.  Granted, I’ve had an unreal amount of work to do online and I haven’t been keeping as close an eye on my eating as I had been, but still - my jaw hit the floor… more accurately the hateful scale.  Hateful, cursed, cold demon.  Who’d have thought long days sitting at a computer without daily walks - combined with endless glasses of sweet tea, homemade cookies, and ice cream cones would cause this?  Go figure.

So, it’s back to step #1.  Time to start all over again. 

Hopefully, this total and complete disappointment will have taught me a lesson.  We can’t just expect things to happen in life just because we want them to.  If we aren’t proactively pursuing our goals, we aren’t going to gain on them.  And if we let our guard down for just one second…. we’re done.

I don’t particularly like shining a spotlight on my weaknesses.  After all, it kind of goes against the stereotypical, average blogger, right?  Most people online lead you to believe they’re so close to perfection that you should pay them just to speak to them.  Actually, some are looking for ways to charge you just for saying their name.  They photoshop their lives along with their pictures.

I’m not interested in coming across as perfect (ha, that just made me laugh - me, perfect - ha, there I laughed again).  I’m interested in one thing.  Helping people, with my humble efforts, to find the best in themselves and, thereby, getting the most from life.  Which is why I’m writing this post.  I’m giving you what I wish I’d given myself a few months ago.

If you have goals you are working toward, stop for a minute and ask yourself if you’re still fighting for what you want or if you’re on the verge of a “break” - take it from me, these breaks will break you.  Never stop - heck, don’t even slow down.  If you think you’re doing “all you can” to reach your goal, dig down and give it more.

If, like me, you’re closer to broke than breaking - keep your chin up. Very often in life, it takes that one final discouragement to get our attention and spur us on to success.  How many people do we read about who find their financial success after bankruptcy? 

Wherever you are on the road that leads to your goal, don’t stop chugging along.  In fact, pick up the pace!  If you’ve fallen, get up.  If you’re walking, run.  If you’re running… look out, I’m coming!

Self Discovery.  This one phrase has more life-changing power in it than most people realize.  You can’t possibly improve ANYTHING unless you first understand it and know it for what it is, inside and out.  That’s why I love programs, books, websites, lessons, etc. that have enough sense to focus on self discovery. 

It’s only after an individual has a clear understanding of where they’re coming from that they can realistically chart in which direction they hope to move next.  If you or I have no idea who or where we are, we’re prisoners to our own lack of knowledge and we have no more direction than an autumn leaf riding in the wind.

I’m sure you don’t like leaving your fate up in the air anymore than I do!

For as long as I know, I’ve kept journals.  I’m pretty sure I’ve gone into great detail about my notebook obsession - I have thoughts, reflections, quotes, randomness, and journal entries all around me.  Their benefit doesn’t necessarily lie in the future.  Truth be told, I don’t go back and re-read what I’ve written very often, not unless I’m feeling nostalgic or need a little piece of information I can’t “pull up” all by myself.  The benefit of writing things down takes place during the writing - when my thoughts, hopes, feelings, dreams, worries, etc. come spilling from my mind onto the page. 

There’s something amazingly wonderful about writing down your innermost thoughts.  Very often, mid paragraph, something comes out you never fully realized existed.  Talk about self discovery! I’ve always thought of journal writing as “Putting yourself in the best possible hands - your own.”

The Progoff Intensive Journal Program is an ingenius integrated system where you use this sort of self discovery to lead to self development and self improvement.  The direction we all want to head in, to be sure. 

This Intensive Journal Program uses writing exercises to aid in this self discovery - in my opinion, a brilliant idea. 

The Intensive Journal workbook is the basic instrument in which you write about your life. It is a three ring binder containing tabs, each of which covers a specific area of your life. Examples include personal relationships, career and special interests, body and health, events, dreams, and meaning in life. - Intensive Journal.org

Since the founder was a leading authority on C.G. Jung, depth psychology and transpersonal psychology AND journal writing, you can sort of think of this Intensive Journal Program as a journal with a psychology degree!

Take a few minutes, now, and try a sample Intensive Journal Exercise. I did the written exercise, myself, prior to writing this review. I read everything on the website and thought, “After I go through my recipes, get my grocery list together, and go to the store, I’m definitely going to write a post about this program.” However, after doing the sample written exercise and actually benefiting from a few insights it brought forward, I wanted to share it with you right away. The recipes and groceries aren’t going anywhere - but you can.

Self Development is just a step away….

The above is a sponsored review, which merely means that I’ve been paid to give my opinion. Whether I like or dislike a product is my own choosing - as are all of the words and all of the thoughts. Frankly, if I don’t completely approve of something or feel that it can benefit my readers, I don’t accept the offer to write the review. I’ve been keeping count (what can I say - it’s something else I get to write down) -and I turn away three times more offers than I accept. So the rare ones I do, you know I mean them!

From my youngest daughter, Stephany, I’ve learned that you never know what you can do until you try - and if you try hard enough, you might just knock your own socks off!

I can see some of myself in each of my daughters, but when it comes to Steph - it can often be eerie. We’re both ridiculously laid back, sometimes to a fault. We love jewelry, clothes, fashion shows, shopping, and going to the movies. We hate racism, snakes, rules, yelling, and saving money.

She has a fearlessness about trying new things, however, that I only wish I possessed. She has an amazing amount of style and artistic talent, but if she lacked the fearlessness and boldness to strike out, they’d be wasted.

Sad to say, but I believe a lot of people’s talents are wasted.   When you think about it, that’s devastatingly depressing.  People, with God-given talent, skills, and abilities letting them rot inside because they lack the boldness to bring them outside. 

I’ve been just as bad as anyone, actually.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not sitting on a great number of talents -  but I know I’ve been guilty of not using the ones I do have nearly often enough.   Frankly, most of the time I lack boldness the way snails lack sex appeal.  I’m afraid I can’t lay claim to very much fearlessness, either.

Stephany’s talent comes through boldly in her graphic art (one of her most recent graphics is above) and web designs. She has never had a single course in graphic art and has never had a class in web design, yet her work is second to none, and I’m not just a proud mom.  She has designed and published official websites for 4 different celebrities, and one of her own unofficial celebrity websites is considered by most to be THE Best Fansite.   She’s launching her own graphic art/celebrity designs web site within the next two weeks and already has people lining up at the cyber door. 

She has a fearlessness about her that allows her to just soar in any direction she faces.  I totally respect and admire her bold attitude.  I’ve learned, from wathching Stephany, that sometimes you just have to stick your chin out and let ’er fly!  You can’t take time to worry about the what if’s or the but’s - you just have to believe in yourself and throw all doubt and fear out of the third floor window.

Boldness is a beautiful thing and Stephany, more than anyone I’ve ever known, serves up that lesson daily.

“The mind, ever the willing servant, will respond to boldness, for boldness, in effect, is a command to deliver mental resources” - Norman Vincent Peale