Great or Not So Great Expectations

Undermining another person’s confidence by telling them that they can’t do something is the greatest weapon we can use on them. If you want to hold your spouse back, tell them that they’re trying to do something beyond their abilities.  If you have a son you want to hold down, tell him he can’t take a certain course in school because it’s over his head.  Think your daughter is a little too nervous about her math test - tell her she’ll probably fail it, but you love her anyway. 

Letting someone know what we Expect from them sets the stage for what we’ll get from them.  If we let them know that our expectations are high - because we know they can reach them, most of the time - they’ll live up to them.  If we let them know that our expectations are low - because we know they’re limited, most of the time - they’ll live down to them.

Words can be weapons of mass destruction even when we don’t mean for them to be.  I guess since we say so many of them each day we take them for granted and don’t fully realize the power each one holds.  Sometimes the power of words is so great and so inspiring that worlds move.  Other times they’re so hurtful and so discouraging that worlds collapse.

In tests in Canada, women who were told that men and women do math equally well did much better than those who were told there is a genetic difference in math ability.

The women who did better in the tests got nearly twice as many right answers as those in the other groups (Nearly twice as many!), as pointed out by Steven J. Heine - a psychology professor at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver.

High expectations or Low expectations - where do you want to set the bar for those you love?  Where do you want to set it for yourself?  We do, you know, listen to our own words….and they don’t have to be said out loud.  I’d say that 9 times out of 10 that’s the very spot we trip on.

The old saying goes something like this - “Don’t expect much, then you won’t be disappointed.”  What miserable wretch must’ve thought that one up?  If you don’t expect much, you’re disappointed before you even start!

Expect everything.  Then make it happen. 

Joi