Helping Your Child’s Self Esteem

A strong case could be made for a lack of Self Esteem being at the root of every evil a young person gets into.  I’ve watched enough young people to know that the ones who like themselves the most do the least amount of harm to themselves or to others.
In an issue of Homelife Magazine, Christy Heitger-Casbon gave these tips for instilling self esteem in children:

1. When you watch your child in an athletic event, do you criticize and condemn afterwards?  Or do you talk about how proud you were of the effort?
2. When your child brings home a school assignment, do you only talk about the questions that they missed, or do you pat them on the back for the ones they got right?
3. When your child helps with household chores, do you only point out what should have been done better or do you thank them and emphasize what they did well?

Granted, a child that lives with only praise and is given the proverbial thumb’s up 24/7 isn’t going to amount to much.  Then again, neither will the one that lives only with criticism and a constant thumb’s down.  As is true of most things in life:  It’s all about balance. Young people need discipline and they certainly need to be shown when they mess up.  BUT, they also need encouragement and praise.  We all do! Accomplishments need to be reinforced - if they aren’t, how long do you think it’ll be before a child wonders why he/she should even try?
Can you imagine working for a boss that criticized every move you made but never even noticed the good things you did?  Would you want to get as far away from him as possible or what?!
Every now and then just give yourself a gut check by asking, “Do I cause my children to feel like they are never quite good enough; that they never quite measure up?”  If you’re up for it, ask them - only if you’re equipped to handle whatever their answer may be.

Have a week that’s so incredible you want to write about it!

Joi