Is Your Personality an Asset or a Liability?

In a superficial society, we often neglect the most important thing we possess: Our personality. This is what makes us who we are. It dictates who wants to be around us and who avoids us like a Biblical plague. Two years after we’ve left this world for the one beyond, our personality (for better or worse) will be the thing we’ll be remembered for most - not our waistline or our hairline. Not EVEN our clothes, or (YIKES!) perfume and jewelry.

When it comes to personalities, I believe the following statements to be 100 percent true:

1. They can make a person MORE attractive or LESS attractive.
2. They can help an individual get AHEAD in their career or HOLD them back.
3. They’re each built upon one of two foundations:  A SELFISH foundation or a SELFLESS foundation.
4. People can change.

Pretty is as Pretty Does

For obvious reasons I won’t name names, but one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever known was (at first glance) not much beyond cute or somewhat attractive.  Yet, after just 10 minutes in her presence, you were convinced that she was, possibly, one of the most beautiful people on the planet.  She was extremely sweet, soft-spoken, kind, neat, feminine, witty, and was a very good mother to her beautiful children.  She was also very fond of laughing and kept one on standby at all times. Mostly she had the one trait that I am drawn to more than any other - she loved life and squeezed all she could out of each second.  She had a vivacious personality that served as a killer running mate for her physical features. Ooooooh, don’t get me started on running mates, not just yet, anyway!

 By contrast, we all know people who have been blessed with wonderful physical features, but possess personalities that serve as ugly masks - hiding the beauty that they should be enhancing.

You Can’t Make it to the Top if No One Likes You!

People who come across as arrogant, sarcastic, dull, disinterested, or constantly angry aren’t likely to advance in their career.

One of the things that makes my husband so good with his clients is the fact that he is honestly 100 percent interested in them. He turns his work phone off 10 minutes before going to bed and turns it on 1 minute after waking. He wants to be available to people who need him 24/7. Not only is he available to them, he is interested in them. He knows the names of each one’s family members, health issues each has, their favorite restaurants, their favorite sport’s teams, etc. He has laughed with them, cried with them, and fought for them.

People who do business with him always attribute his success to his intelligence, killer drive, and work ethic which is second to none. However, I’ve always said that it comes down to one thing - people like him. He’s funny, compassionate, outgoing, and as my mom always said, “A real character.”

Are You Selfish or Selfless?

Every single one of us is either more selfish than we are selfless or more selfless than we are selfish. I tend to believe that no one is TOTALLY either one - but everyone definitely has more of one trait than the other.

Very often, a rotten disposition comes from being self-centered. Think about people who have angry outbursts. They certainly aren’t thinking about other people - they’re only thinking about themselves. How they’re being “put upon” or how others aren’t doing enough for them. Me, me, me - it’s all about me!

Anger (including road rage) is just selfishness having a temper tantrum.

Sarcasm is just selfishness acting petty.

Mocking is just selfishness acting childish.

Benevolence, tolerance and kindness are selfless acts. They’re traits from people who honestly care about the needs and feelings of others. The person who slows down to allow someone to pass rather than gunning it to stay in front - they’re being selfless.

For those predisposed to selfishness, selflessness takes practice. But it can be achieved.

Be totally honest with yourself, do you think you are more concerned about yourself or others? During the day, do you concern yourself more with your own needs or those of others? When’s the last time you put yourself totally out for another person - without shining a spotlight on it?

Start today: Do as many kind acts for others as possible. Smile and speak to strangers. Put the grocery cart in the corral in the parking lot. (Pet peeve! I hate when people leave it out in the open and justify it by saying, “That’s what they get paid for.” I hate when selfishness tries to explain itself.)

People CAN Change

Change a habit and you change your life. If selfishness seems to dominate your personality, make it your #1 mission to change that right away. It can’t be something you think about today then forget tomorrow. You have to make a concentrated effort each and every day to care more about others than you do yourself.

Think about personality traits that you admire in others. Do they always seem happy or upbeat? Do they make you feel better when you’re around them? Do they look you in the eyes when they talk to you? Are they honest? Do they make you smile? Do they dwell on positive things rather than negative ones?

Identify personality traits you admire and are drawn to - then take inventory of your own personality traits. Are they a service to you or a disservice? Do they elevate you or demote you? Do they benefit your relationships or serve as a barrier between you and others?

If you don’t like the answers you’ve come up with, what are you going to do about it?

Related posts:

1. Selfishness vs. Selflessness “A red rose is not selfish because it wants to...
2. Quote about Personality If you have anything valuable to contribute to the world,...
3. Signs of the Times or Just Bad Manners? I’m a student of people and their behavior.   Whether it’s...
4. Doing a Slow Boil     I’ve always heard (but have never tested out...
5. Criticism of Others I was reading through one of my favorite books last...