Nine Secrets Happy People Know - Part 2

Continued from Nine Secrets Happy People Know - Part 1

It’s Wednesday, and everybody knows you can’t get too flashy on Wednesday - so let’s just pick up where we left off…

  4.  Happy People Know You Can’t Let Other People’s Lives Direct Your Own.  A director pretty much dictates how a play is going to happen.  He or she tells people where to stand, when to walk, how to feel, etc.  The director will tell the other people involved in the play when they’re “getting it right” as well as when they’re “getting it all wrong!“   They call the shots.

An actor or member of the crew expects it and doesn’t question the director’s right to pull power trips - after all, it’s what they’re there for.  It’s all part of the system.

However, this sort of thing most definitely isn’t part of the system when you aren’t on a stage or in front of a camera.  Each individual IS their own director in life.  No one else gets to tell us how we should feel or how we should react.  People are happiest when they are allowed to be their own person, not who someone else expects them to be. 

Happy people, at some point in their life came to terms with who they are.  What’s more, they made up their mind to be that person no matter who was around and irregardless of what others would think.

The individual who thinks they have to be a chameleon and change how they act, talk, or even think, depending upon who they’re around, is not a happy person.  If they were happy and content, they’d “wear” themself all the time and never “take” themself off.

If you ever find yourself altering who you are as a person around certain people, catch yourself, then ask the following question, “Why am I afraid to be me around_____?”   If it’s a fear of ridicule, the next question could very well be,  “Why AM I around this person in the first place?!“ 

When I was in high school, I recall that it was a very “in” think for girls to act ditzy and dumb.  I’d watch in amazement as some of my friends would go from talking over assignments (from Shakespeare to Spanish) with one another to blanking out when a boy joined the group.  Some boys would laugh and, I suppose, think the dumb act was cute.  Others would look almost frightened and take off in search of higher intelligence.

I’m not going to lie, I fell into the trap a few times while trying to find myself.  Sometimes it would depend on the boy, I guess. 

When I first started going out with my husband, I was pretty nervous at first.  I liked him more than anyone I’d ever met and hoped with every ounce of my being that we’d hit it off.  I could tell he was really smart right off the bat.  I remember my mind running around in circles thinking, “If he’s smart, would he prefer an airhead or would he like the fact that I have a brain?“  My mind was busy mulling over the ins and outs of that subject for the first 30 minutes of the first date!  Then, I noticed something kind of unique.  He kept asking questions - kind of like little “tests.”  Looking back, I realize that he was testing the depths of the water!

Since I actually liked who I was and felt proud of any knowledge that I had, I went with being myself.  So when this kid with the prettiest blue eyes I’d ever seen brought up the subject of mental telepathy, I jumped right in.  When he fired random questions about random subjects, I fired the answers back - whether it was about the lead singer of Van Halen or what I’d do with telepathic powers, if I knew it…..I said it. 

We’ve been happily married for well over 20 years now and one of the things that has kept the marriage the happiest is that we allow one another to be themself.  There’s a total and complete freedom and relaxation in knowing that you can just be you. 

People who have to try to “measure up,”  “fit in,”  or “tow the line” don’t have time to be happy - they’re too busy trying to measure, fit, and tow.  If you have anyone in your life who has this effect on you, do yourself a huge favor and set things right.  If you suspect that you AFFECT someone else in this way, do everyone a favor and set things right.

We should always accept people as they are - whether it’s ourself or someone else. 

Be happy.  Be yourself.