Nine Secrets Happy People Know - Part 3

Continuing from Part 2 of Nine Secrets Happy People Know….

   #4.  Happy people know the difference between being a sponge and a dinner napkin.   When people close to us are having problems, it’s only natural for them to tell us about them.  Truth be told, we normally pull it out of them, hoping that we can, in some way, help.  It’s only natural, also, to feel what others are feeling and to care with every fiber in our being.  The closer we are to them, the more we’ll fell their pain.

However, a secret that “Happy People” have in their r’epertoire is the realization that you can’t “sponge up” other people’s pains, troubles, and disappointments without becoming ”misery logged” yourself.  

Don’t get me wrong, I have a lifetime membership, paid in full, with the Save The World club - and I would do anything in my power to help anyone, whether I know them or not.  I’m not saying AT ALL, “Look the other way…”  No no no - never look the other way.  All I’m saying is this, if we aren’t careful, we will sponge up the miseries of other people and make them our own miseries. 

Let me see if I can try to clear up what I’m saying. If we can help another person in any way, we should do so.  Whether they need physical help, emotional support, or even just lunch money (never underestimate lunch money!).  If they need a shoulder to lean on, we should offer two.  The secret is to not “sponge” up their problems.  Doing so doesn’t help them OR us.  In fact, it weakens us to the point where we’ll be the one looking for a sholder to cry on rather than having strong shoulders to catch the tears of others.

Parents run into this time and time again.  It doesn’t matter if you have one, three, or ten children and it doesn’t matter what age they are.  Again, it pays to keep in mind that we have to stay strong - for those we love as well as for ourselves.  And in order to stay mentally strong, we have to learn what things we have control over and what things we have NO control over whatsoever.

If you (like me) tend to emphasize with others as well as sympathize with them, try to catch yourself before you “sponge up” unhappiness that doesn’t have your name on it.

  #5.  Happy People Know that if Something Isn’t Working, You Have to Get to the Root of the Problem.  Sometimes we find ourselves kind of ”out of sorts” or we think, “I just don’t feel like myself…”  Maybe we feel sadder than normal or we find ourselves getting angrier more than usual - things that cause us to wonder who has taken over our personality!

Usually [ Read:  More times than not ] there’s a very good, very logical, and very easily solved reason for it.  When this sort of thing happens, “happy people” know to take a quick inventory:

• Am I getting enough sleep?  If we miss out on our required number of hours, we’ll feel edgier, more emotional, and we’ll be less likely to cope with anything life throws us.  A few good nights sleep will make a world of difference.
• Have I taken on too much?  When we bite off more than we can realistically chew, we get tense and irritable.  Letting a few things go and remembering to relax more and just enjoy life will put a smile back on your face in no time.
• Have I changed my diet in any way?  Cutting out too many calories can cause a person to become, understandably, irritable. 
• Have I started to eat (or drink) anything different?  Food allergies can greatly affect the way you feel - not just physically, but emotionally as well.
• Have I started taking any herbal supplements or new medications?  This one has tripped me up once in the form of an herb.  Granted, I’m the most susceptible person in the world to side effects (when I start a new medicine, I don’t ask, “What are the side effects?” - I say, “What do I have to look forward to?”).  About 8 years ago, I took an herb that had a reputation for helping people with thyroid problems - after a few months, I started wondering why I felt so peculiar about everything.  Nothing quite suited me - and my normal temperment is IT’S ALL GOOD.  I kept reading how there were no side effects for this particular herb, but I finally decided to stop taking it, anyway.  I was back to myself almost immediately.     

Also, watch out for herbs in certain drinks - such as teas or energy drinks.  Things affect people differently, so always take a quick little inventory so you can rule out any potential culprits.

Some people also feel differently, emotionally, if they’re having more caffeine than usual.  Personally, I think I’d be a grouch if I didn’t get enough!  Fortunately, we’ll never know.