Pushing vs. Pulling

As a dreamologist, I hear and read about a lot of dreams - I mean hundreds a month.  I’m not a “You will meet a mysterious stranger who will be wearing stripes on the second Thursday of next month” dream phophet or anything as exotic as that.  I think of myself more as a dream analyst - I can decipher the meanings behind dreams…..what their symbolisms are, what, if anything, should be taken away from the dream, etc.  A lot of study, research, and hands-on training has gone into this craft and I enjoy it almost as much as anything I do.

The greatest part of it is working with people, hearing what’s on their minds, what’s bothering them….and helping when I can, in whatever way I can.  The work and study are more than worth it when I get the e-mails thanking me for the insight and help.  I’ve formed bonds with so many people that are worth more than anything. I’ve heard from the most colorful and amazing people in the world through my dream site and dream blog. It’s a shame I’m not a science fiction writer, I’d have enough material for several lifetimes!
I’ve noticed that a common theme for dreams - the majority of them center around relationships.  A person who is grieving, for example, will often have incredibly vivid and troubling dreams, as the mind tries desperately to heal itself from the pain it feels.

Someone who has had a break-up, which is also a form of grief, will often have recurring dreams about this person.  Again, the mind tries to come to terms with a situation it isn’t comfortable with.

Something that amazes me about us (humans) is our knack to push ourselves.  We put so much pressure on ourselves to just move on and keep going - regardless of the circumstances - that I think we do ourselves more harm than good.  (There was like one too many “ourselves” in that paragraph, but I’m wearing my dream analyst hat at the moment rather than the writer one, so I’ll just grumble and go on. No editing today!)

The really irritating thing is that we’ll tell others to “Take your time and heal.”  but we’ll tell ourselves, “Move on already!”  If only we’d be as understanding to the person who looks back at us in the mirror.

Instead of pushing ourselves forward, sometimes I think it’s best to pull ourselves backward and just remember how to breathe.  Whatever situations we face - whether they’re grieving for a lost loved one, a lost relationship, or a child who has gone off to college or gotten married - we should first ask ourselves what advice we’d give if someone we loved were facing this same situation.  Then, secondly, we should take our own advice.  I’m fairly certain it wouldn’t be, “Move on!”

We have to care for our psyche if we want our psyche to take care of us.

Joi

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