We are a generation of to do lists, multi-tasking, Palm Pilots, and appointment calendars. We proudly wave our “git ‘er done” mentality and vow to do just that. Of course we want our coffee to go - after all there are places to go, people to see, and plenty of ‘er to get done.
I won’t even lecture (well, not today anyway) about what this does to our health, psyche, and relationships. You get a free pass, I’ll mother you about your well-being another day.
What we fail to realize, however, amongst all of our business, is that we can have an admirable list of “To Do’s,” but if we keep doing certain negative things - we’re UN-DO-ing the positive ones in the process.
That paragraph confused even me and I wrote it, so I’ll give an example. An example that pats all of us on the backside. We can walk five days a week for 45 minutes, thinking we’re creating a physical masterpiece. However, at the end of two months, the scales don’t seem to realize the work we’ve put in. Scales are hateful.
The problem is, while walking is a very smart thing to do, more likely than not we aren’t adhering to any to don’ts: Such as, Calorie-packed Lattes, Quarter Pounders with Cheese, fries, potato chips while watching the Cardinal-less playoffs (bitter, much)…
We cancel out perfectly wonderful DOs when we hold tight to the DON’Ts.
Think of these 10 self-destructive thoughts or actions as your To Don’t list. Then, move Heaven and earth to make sure you never do them. They’re your UnDOing. Literally.
- Don’t put things off. I know I just heard God laugh at me for writing this one first. Me - the queen of putting things off? I honestly drive myself crazy and get myself into so many corners by having the Scarlett O’Hara syndrome, “I won’t think about that today. I’ll think about it tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day.“ I’m working on it, and hopefully one day I’ll work on it like I mean it. O. M. G. Did you see that?! I just said, “..one day..” Fiddle de de.
- Don’t let others determine how you feel about yourself. Never look to other people to see your own reflection - you’ll never get the same one twice. Taking a good, hard look at yourself is the first step in the self improvement journey. But YOU are the one that has to take inventory. Don’t let others build you up too high, but certainly don’t allow them to tear you down. When someone else determines your highs and lows, don’t they pretty much have control over you? Yeah - not cool, that.
- Stop wasting time in your car! This is perfectly good time that you could benefit from. Instead of driving along, listening to the same old songs over and over again, use the time to learn and grow. Get a connector for your MP3 player in your vehicle, then fill it up with quality podcasts. If you go to itunes and search out podcasts, you’ll be amazed with the variety of information that wants to take a ride with you. There are also, of course, countless books on cds.
- Don’t waste money. Okay, God’s laughing again. Even if we weren’t in the middle of an ill-tempered economy, wasting money is d— du–duu— duuu….. not smart. We could all cut corners and never miss them. What’s the sense in trying to earn more money to get ahead if we keep out-running ourselves. Wonderful, now my husband’s laughing, too.
- Don’t make excuses. If you mess up, and come on, who doesn’t - own up to it. Don’t try to laugh it off if it isn’t funny, don’t try to resize it (upsize or downsize), and most of all, don’t try to put the blame on someone else. And, yes, saying, “I may have been 20 minutes late, but you scheduled the meeting at a stupid hour.” is shifting blame, being rude and being childish. Nobody wears those titles well.
- Don’t underestimate karma. Do Not ever fail to give karma her due - you’ll be sorry. I’ve been telling my daughters about her as long as I’ve been telling them to say please and thank you. Karma can be a rewarding, kind, beautiful seeker of justice, but she can also be a hateful, vengeful b—-. Either way, she has an impossibly long memory. You can’t outrun her, you can’t hide from her. The only thing you can hope to do is to stay on her good side. You know the old adage that says the mother is the “heart” of the home, and that if she’s happy, everyone’s happy - but if she’s miserable, everyone’s miserable? Welcome to the heart of life. She goes by the name Karma. When you make a point of doing the right thing (whether anyone’s watching or not), Karma keeps score and your world will be more harmonious. But when you dodge what’s right in favor of what’s wrong, you’re instantly on her list. And make no mistake about it, she’ll get to you.
- Stop doing what you hate. If you’re working in a job that makes you miserable, find another one. Life’s too short to spend it being miserable.
- Stop thinking so much about money! That’s another thing that sort of defines our generation. We never seem to think we have enough money. Think about it this way - if we had more, we’d just spend more. When my husband and I were first married, he was in the Air Force and we had very little money. When our beautiful daughters started arriving, we had even less. More love, more happiness, more laughter - but most definitely less money. Today, we’ve been blessed to have enough money, but guess what? We still spend it. We simply pay a little more for what we wear, where we live, what we eat, and what we drive. We were as warm, as comfortable, as full, and as mobile then as we are now. I’ll let you in on a little secret too, we were as happy. We’re the same people now as we were then. We laugh out loud at Andy Griffith reruns, argue over who the better NFL team is, spoil our daughters and cats, and so on. Money buys stuff but it doesn’t buy happiness, it doesn’t buy relationships, and it doesn’t buy memories. If you’re sacrificing any of the three in it’s pursuit, you’ll be more than sorry in the end - you’ll be devastated.
- Don’t worry about other people! Sorry for the exclamation mark - I had to yell. How this person wears his hair, how that person dresses, what this person eats, how that person talks - none of your concern. Not your problem. In the new testament, at the point where Jesus has risen and is addressing his apostles, one of them sees fit to ask Him about another apostle. Jesus’ response was, “What is that to you?” A very loving and long-suffering way of saying, “Now remind me how that’s any of your business.” We get SO off track by looking at what others are or are not doing. They are responsible for their own lives - how they dress, where they work, how they live, etc.
- Finally, stop doing what isn’t working. If you’ve been working toward a particular goal and don’t seem to be gaining on it whatsoever, it’s time for Plan B because Plan A is belly up. You can either keep wasting time and hope it suddenly flips over and miraculously starts working, or you can abandon what doesn’t work and find something that does.
Sometimes we have to STOP doing things in order to START doing things. The negatives just weigh the positives down, so ditch them on the asap.
* P.S. Click HERE to see what we can all learn from dogs!
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