The Lost Art of Conversation

I’ve been reading a book for a review on one of my other blogs (Out of Bounds).  The book’s titled “Talk to Me” and it’s geared toward exactly what you’d expect - talking.  The authors (Carole Honeychurch and Angela Watrous) give tons of illustrations and tips on situations where your tongue is suddenly the center of attention.  It’s a great little book and I’d recommend it to anyone who…well, anyone who speaks.

It made me start thinking about the lost art of conversation.  You often hear people lamenting about upcoming dates, events, or gatherings.  They’ll often worry that they won’t have anything to say or talk about.  Everyone essentially lives in fear of awkward silence - that empty little lull where you feel an overwhelming need to fill it up with something….even if it’s mindless banter.

One of the best ways to keep these uninteresting moments from happening is to keep yourself as interesting as possible.  The more you read, the more you experience, the more you see…..in fact, the more you live, the more interesting you’ll be. 

We’re all pretty familiar with these self-check questions:

1. Do you stay on top of the news - locally and nationally? 
2. Do you have a variety of interests rather than just one or two?
3. Are you well-read - meaning do you read more than just the newspaper and your favorite magazines?

We all try to make our lives answer YES! to each of the above - but the following are where the real pay dirt lies:

1. Do you, every now and then, subject yourself to a subject you know nothing about and/or have never even cared about?  For example, tuning into a History Channel documentary on WW1 or a Discovery Health episode on plastic surgery.  Or reading an article on golfing, baking bread, or iguanas.  Granted, the opportunity to work them into a conversation (without looking like a complete idiot) might never come up - but the more layers a person has to them, the more interesting they are, and the longer others will want to spend with them.  Going through a person’s layers is all kinds of fun….but if there are only one or two there, the game ends all too soon.
2. Do you expose yourself to other opinions or shun them?  I’m not sure if I used this example on this blog before or not, but I used to involve myself greatly in politics.  I would read everything I could get my hands on and I never missed a minute of election coverage, debates, or convention coverage.   I was totally on one side of the political party - like most people, I thought my guy could do no wrong and the others could do no right.  Then I started watching some of “their” speeches and interviews, reading some of “their” ideas, and educating myself in the school of other opinions.  I remember, in particular watching a politician from “The dark side” give a speech at their convention.  More than once I found myself nodding in agreement with him. At one riveting moment, I even wished I was in a Southern Fundamentalist Baptist church so I could yell, “Amen!”

I stayed within my own political party (whatever that even means) because, on the hole, my values and beliefs were better represented there.  But, I did learn a few things by keeping an open mind.  Nothing ever gets into a closed mind except what was already there……making it kind of stagnant, stale, inert, and - well, you get the idea.

Just something to think about, and maybe even talk about. 

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