What I’ve Learned From My Husband

From My Husband, I’ve Learned That You Have to Fight For What You Want, No One’s Going to Do It For You

My husband, Michael, had more hardships before he even knew what the word meant than some people have in their whole lifetime. Without going into specifics, he was a very premature baby at a time when their survival wasn’t likely, his father died in a car wreck when he was a baby, and he was raised by a single, unemployed grandmother. This grandmother, who he knew as “Mama” got by on sheer grit - and we all miss her to this day.

He has told me several stories about fights he had in school and I suppose it makes perfect sense. He was born into a fight (for survival), so fighting has been a way of life for him.

Fortunately for the other males in his small town of Kentucky, it didn’t take long before he channeled this fighting spirit in a direction that led to more than fat lips on smart mouths.

He “fought” for his education. He was one of those real life cases of someone having to walk to school both ways. He could have skipped more than he went, but he respected his “mama” and education too much to cheat them, or himself.

He “fought” for his country - serving proudly in the Army as well as the Air Force.

Most of all, he has “fought” for his family. After September 11, the business Michael was in (like a lot of businesses) went to hell in a sack. We lost our dream home (it was so beautiful!) but we didn’t lose our, even more beautiful, dreams.

During a span of about 3 years - losing our home was actually the kindest favor life threw our way. Michael’s mom died, his sister was killed in a sudden accident, and my mom suffered a heart attack and began, health-wise, to go down rapidly. She was just 60 years of age, at the time, so that was all a great shock.

We all felt like the wind had been knocked out of us, and, frankly, I wanted to stay down on the mat for a while. But “Rocky” jumped back up and pulled me up along with him. My mindset was, “Are you crazy - if we get up, we might get hit again!” But his mindset was, “Are you crazy, you can’t hit back if you’re on the mat!”

We got up. Correction - I got up. He never succumbed to the mat. Sure, he may have taken a knee, but he stayed up.

We’re very different - Michael and I. You see, I am the stereotypical only child - I was spoiled rotten by the time I met Michael. To me, a fight was something Sugar Ray Leonard did in the ring. I never really had to fight for anything - thanks to my mom, dad, aunts, and uncles everything was always given to me.

When I got into the real world (you know the one…where mom doesn’t do your laundry and dad doesn’t have sausage and biscuits made for you first thing in the morning) - it could have eaten me alive. It tried a few times, but Michael taught me - with his words, but mostly from watching him - that you have to fight for what you want from life. No one else is going to do it for you.

Not only that, but he has also taught me that you should never settle for anything. I learned, long ago, never to tell him that something was “good enough” or that it was “okay.” Those aren’t just words to him, they’re challenges.

Career-wise, Michael went on to become the absolute best in his field.  He, literally, has had people try to hire him all over the country.  That would have been “good enough” for most people.  But he has always wanted to make sure that, in the unlikely event that anything happened to him (I say unlikely because I don’t think the grim reaper would stand a shot) - the girls and I would have something of our own.  So we launched a web publishing business that is, in my estimation, quite successful.  In his?  It needs more work, of course!

He hasn’t given a fat lip to a wise guy (to my knowledge!) in over 20 years. But he has jack slapped every obstacle that was foolish enough to get in his way. He has never settled and he has tried his level best to make sure no one he loves ever settles, either.

I know, for a fact, that I’ve accomplished more and have gotten more out of myself because of the things I’ve learned from him.

Fighters never quit and quitters never win.